Lifebeginsat41

WELL DONE YOU!!!!!!!

So pleased for you - and keep going strong xxx

GreenEggsAndHam

Going to a 6:00 pm meeting tonight. Ugh, I'm nervous. What if I can't find the meeting room? I don't want to ask someone where the AA meeting is.

I worry about the smallest stuff, I swear!

RunningClean

Hey GreenEggs, I thought about exactly the same thing before I went to my first meeting. It didn't make it any better when the first attempt backfired because the meeting had changed venues and I ended up at a kids Karate class!

However, all the other meetings I have been to (I go to 4 different locations) have been easy to find. If when I get there someone smiles, shakes my hand and introduces themself then I know I'm at the right place! I've also heard that if you walk into a room with people there but you're not sure it's the right place and you don't want to say "is this AA", you can say "I'm looking for friends of Bill W". Kind of a code! Bill W was one of the founders of AA. A guy in my home group even told me that he went on a cruise holiday once, and on the ships itinerary of entertainment there was a mention of a weekly meeting for "Friends of Bill W"!

Hope it goes well!

GreenEggsAndHam

Thank you! Hopefully it will be semi-obvious since it's in a church during non-church hours. *fingers crossed*

Lifebeginsat41

Hope it goes well - let us know how you get on :-)

GracieLou

Look for the people standing outside. I go to 4 different meetings at the same church and everyone has several people outside talking or smoking. I am one of those people. I get there a half hour early just to chit chat. I have gone other places and almost always the same. Several people outside chatting and having that last smoke.

The meetings are in different rooms in the church so sometimes people just ask if it upstairs or downstairs. The Saturday one has a sign and an arrow.

If you are new they are going to know it as they have not seen you before and someone will come up and introduce themselves.

GreenEggsAndHam

Ok I did it!!

To those reading who are scared to go their first meeting, if I could do THIS, anyone can!

So, I'm a 42 old soccer mom type. I show up and all I see outside are young guys - a group of like ten of them and I swear they all looked 19 or 20. Then everyone arriving was male. So many males. I called my husband from the minivan freaking out, telling him that I can't go in there, why so many men, why no females, why so many young people?!! Where are the people like me??? Am I even in the right place??? Is this even an AA meeting?!

My heart was pounding and I was about to have a full blown panic attack.

He tried to calm me down, told me to do what I felt comfortable with...then I saw one female arrive, then another, and then another. I told my husband, ok, I can do this, right? If I don't, I will always blame my AV and not my rational mind for not going in. I drove all this way. Don't cop out!

I got my terrified butt out of the car, walked past all the guys, got to the door, and there people greeted me and everyone was soooo nice. Many more women inside and people of all ages and all walks of life. And most of the "young" people I saw weren't that young when I got a closer look- I realized I'm just old. LOL

I did fight back a lot of tears during the meeting and so much of what people shared resonated with me. I will definitely go back to that meeting. I also got my white chip. =)

Thank you everyone for explaining the process and offering encouragement!

ersatzmatriarch

way to go, greeneggs!!!

i got to a new meeting once, and couldn't figure out where to go, so i asked two men walking into the church part if there was a meeting here. they said they were going to a men's church breakfast. i wanted to die... but i remembered the bill w. thing at the last second, and they guided me. when i got in... only men! i quietly asked if it was a men's meeting (hoping it wasn't because the only other one i could get to that day was one i'd already tried and didn't feel comfortable in.) it wasn't, and they welcomed me in. another lady showed up as we started, and it turned out to be one of my top three favorite meetings!

isn't that chip awesome?!?! so glad you picked yours up. keep a tight hold on it when you need to center yourself.

you're doing great!!!

GreenEggsAndHam

Thank you!
I have nothing against young men, mind you. :~p I just felt so awkward, who will I relate to? Will they stare and make me feel unwelcome, etc? I think I was just trying to find a way out, to be honest. I was panicky on the drive there, couldn't find the street, had to call my husband to look up directions, etc. I was a wreck.

This meeting ended up not being in a church so at least I didn't have that problem. There is another meeting I want to try but it's at the church where my kids went to preschool so I know where the meeting room is for that one.

All in all, I can see how this is a good first step in trying to stay sober this time.

awuh1

Well GEAH you made my day. Thanks for letting others know that the fear exists without much basis in fact. Welcome home.

sunshinescooby

Hi GE&H.. I haven't been following the post too close today. First, so PROUD of you. Second, I worried about that two.. asking someone hey.. where is the AA meeting? Makes me chuckle..

I was amazed at the people there too. One man, I just almost had to keep staring at.. how could HE be an alkie? He looked like my high school principal! another one looked so athletic.. young girls/guys, middle aged and even some older folks.

sunshinescooby

GEAH.. now that you have your chip, I'm inspired to get mine too. Tomorrow.. I'm going tomorrow. Luckily when I went to my meeting I was late, so I didn't have time to think.. I just marched in. Also, I saw another lady go in ahead of me.. It was a relief to be around people I didn't have to pretend around..

THANKS!!!

Grungehead

Congratulations Scooby and Green Eggs!!!

A big part of getting sober is being WILLING to try the suggestions given by those with experience. Not everything suggested will "fit", but having an open mind will go along way in staying sober. I don't think I've ever been to a meeting where I didn't get something out of it.

GracieLou

Good on you GE&H! You did it. I had sort of the same experience and this was after I was going for a month or so. All guys. After close to a dozen showed up I thought, did they change this to a men's meeting? I had to go look at my AA meeting schedule book even though I had been here a bunch of times and the book was the same one I had the entire time so it was not going to magically change..lol

Turned out that nothing had changed and women did show up later.


We are an amazingly diversified group. The BB mentions we are people that would normally mix and they are right but we all have one primary purpose.

Lifebeginsat41

So proud of you both!!

But what is a white chip? Is that just a USA thing? Do we have them in the UK? (I want one!!) lol.

GreenEggsAndHam

At my meeting they said it was for having the courage to come through the door for the first time.

But I think it's also for 30 days sober? Others can correct me if I'm wrong on that. =)

Lifebeginsat41

I've been to 2 meetings and not had one. Maybe it's not done in the UK...

honeypig

Thanks to both of you for going to your first meeting and posting about it! I really needed to hear this today.

I belong to 2 Alanon email groups and unsubscribed from both today, was just getting so, so tired of the constant influx of newbies who want that "Alanon magic" in 25 words or less but will not bother to check out links to the Alanon site, will not purchase literature or check their library for it, will not consider going to a meeting, etc., etc.

You are both great examples, as others have mentioned, of "becoming willing"--you have helped yourselves, and you also helped me out of a bummer mood by sharing your stories! Thanks again, folks.

GracieLou

It varies. Not every meeting gives them out here. Most chips/tokens/coins/medallions are given the first time for 24 hours sober.

Then a month and on up to a year. Some meetings that give coins give one for every month, other for 24 hours and then 1,3,6,9 months and then a year. I think there is also a 18 month coin but after that then 2 years and on up. One for every year.

I have a 24 hours and a 1 month. They were out of two month coins when I hit two months

Coins also vary from simple plastic chips to fancy coins. If you google AA tokens there are many websites that sell them fairly cheap.

My 24 hour is the color silver and made of plastic while my month coins is made of bronze.

These are not sold by AA. There are some coins that are but not ones that signify a month or year. The true start of the AA coin was started by Sister lgnatia at St. Thomas Hospital in Akron, Ohio

sunshinescooby

what is the saying at the end? The plan works if you work the plan or something? I was too intimidated by the hand holding to understand what they were saying!