mecanix

Hey Ricky ,
For me alcohol took my job, my home, my cat, and gave me international debt !
My blood pressure was running at about 175/140 and still i carried on drinking . sleeping on my mums living room carpet buming drink money off her for booze .

2 years on it's turned round , money in the bank , modicum of health and the biggest worry i have is , is someone sweet gonna phone me or not and being there for my mum .

Do what you need to do , if you don't know what that is find someone with the kinda sobriety you admire and copy them .

Take care , M

Living

We need you! Do not give up now, a stumble is not the end. Lots of hugs and love.

Anna

Riky, there is so much hope that you won't go down further than this.

Take a stand and begin to move forward with your life.

Ptcapote

Hi Ricky, I am so sorry that you're feeling bad and that you're under so much stress with your job. I know it's not easy.

Did something trigger you this time that you can identify? Your job?

I think you completely recognize that you're going to have to commit full-time to this. It's good that you have someone as a role model and friend. That helped me a lot. I think you also have to get rid of your dealers number and contact details...it seems too easy for you to get in touch with him or vice versa...

Also what helped me was getting militant with myself about making a plan and sticking to it no matter how much I hated doing it in my first couple of months. And I mean HATED IT. All I wanted to do was go home from work, sit in my house, and be miserable. But I forced myself to do something, anything, as many minutes of the day that would otherwise be occupied by obsessing about alcohol. It slowly but surely worked. And I know that you don't have a lot of spare income to do things---neither did I, my addiction burned up any extra money I had and started eating into money I didn't have---but there are things to do that do not cost money. Like meetings. Walks.

You CAN change your circumstances. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, in life that cannot change if you want it to. For now, the first step is kicking the addiction. Don't snowball sh*t (i.e. OMG, I have this and this and this and this wrong and how am I ever gonna deal with it??). I have a tendency to do that and it immobilizes me.

One day, one step, one minute at a time, my friend. Once that monkey on your back is gone, you'd be amazed at how quickly and easily things can and do change.

You are an awesome person and obviously many of us here care very much about you. We will be here no mater what. You can totally do this.

We've got you until then.

Write later and let us know how the rest of today is going..

HUGE ((hug)) to you

MeSoSober

That was a great post, Ptcapote.

AnvilheadII

riky, i was told there are three times when you should go to a meeting:

1. When you NEED one
2. When you aren't SURE you need one
3. When you don't THINK you need one

you don't have to suffer like this anymore, and you don't have to go it alone. EMBRACE recovery!!

Nuudawn

Ricky...aw..I'm so sorry you're hurting in your dark. Don't let it win...you WANT a new life. You got weak and it pounced. There will be days or moments when it can happen. Having a bit of a sketchy day myself, where I felt "Oh the hell with it"..why don't I just go buy a bottle of wine and a pack of cigs. Fortunately, I thought it through more. I want off the train. I'm tired of doing what I've always done. I could bail on this sobriety thing..but where would that lead me? Right back to wanting to quit again because I would just be spinning my wheels in the same old manure...getting nowhere. Well, actually I think I've reached the point in my addiction where I'm not staying the same..I'm actually going backwards.

I want to go forwards. I so want you to come back..stay with us.

trikyriky

I Made a meeting and developed some job leads on the day off and clean. I made the best of it.

Nighthawk8820

'

I did it on my own. In reality, its up to ourselves to make the change.......because in the end, you are all you got.

Marcher13

Hey Riky, I was 57 until a few weeks ago so we have that in common to start with. Yeah I have the DH but I didn't have the luxury of time off, we run a very small business and it was a practical matter that I had to continue to work.

With three months sober I'd urge you to concentrate on your sobriety and let the job thoughts slide for now. Sure you might change jobs but don't let that sway your focus at the moment. Good food, sleep and picking up a new or old interest will do more for you and your sobriety than anything else.

My support was and continues to be SR, reading other people's stories, posting and learning.

Grungehead

Hi Riky - I'm late to the thread so I think everyone pretty much said what I would have. I just wanted to give you some encouragement. You seem to really want to get clean and sober from the posts I've seen from you so don't give up. I had a roommate once when I first got sober that was in recovery too. I met him at one of my regular meetings and he was picking up another white chip so I went over to tell him to keep coming back. I bet I saw him pick up at least a dozen white chips (probably more) but he sincerely wanted to stay clean and sober (his DOC was alcohol and weed). The last time I talked to him (many years ago) he had 5 years clean and sober. You can do it too. Just find out what is missing from your plan. Ask your friend if he will be your sponsor and start working the steps.

Good luck and keep posting!

trikyriky

I am struggling today with this addiction, anxiety, fear . I called out to someone who will be there when the work days over.

instant

I found joining the daily thread really useful. I see one fr this month on the main newcomer
menu. Really helped to try to dtick with the group dayto day, or twice a day. It reallt got through that sense of being on my own eith something i could not control.

I still post in my original group thread june 2011, and the one year and over thread. I dont go to AA but i get a sense that i fo belongto SR and mt threads. i

trikyriky

I tried class threads , I don't fit , not complaining but just seems like chit - chat . I don't have live chat from my phone. SR has helped so much . I'm to blame . Not too much you all can do. I hate to sound like such a whiner , like me , me , me. I have issues with , belonging , acceptance , taking instructions , obviously. Need more one on one , NA , something

Nonsensical

Glad you had someone to call out to. Glad you're here, also.

Living

How are you???

trikyriky

Up & down , mostly down . Reaching out is helpful. I need to put some clean time together. Get some Momentum ,

doggonecarl

NA

That! I think you would benefit from being in the presence of recovered addicts, learn what they did; do what they did.

Living

I am here for you! Keep going day by day!!! Don't give up.