feel like a slip but won't cause it's not worth it
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 105
feel like a slip but won't cause it's not worth it
Today I had an awkward moment at work that I've n been dreading.
You see on one of crazy benders I decided to cut my arm quite a few times like cutters do. Someone asked what's happened to your arm.
I felt like a real idot I just said I scratched it and left it at that even though it's clear to see it's more than a scratch.
It seems these days every time I drink bad things like that happen but there is a part of me that wants to run and hide from the shame and guilt of my disease.
I know I have a diseases because alcohol causes me so much pain to myself and my family and there is a part of me that craves that exact thing.
I haven't drunk for 4 days and I'm grateful for that but today I've felt close so I sit and write this instead of going to the bottle shop to buy some misery in a bottle.
I choose to face life right now and acknowledge how I'm feeling.
With everyone's support and my honesty I can get sober.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
You see on one of crazy benders I decided to cut my arm quite a few times like cutters do. Someone asked what's happened to your arm.
I felt like a real idot I just said I scratched it and left it at that even though it's clear to see it's more than a scratch.
It seems these days every time I drink bad things like that happen but there is a part of me that wants to run and hide from the shame and guilt of my disease.
I know I have a diseases because alcohol causes me so much pain to myself and my family and there is a part of me that craves that exact thing.
I haven't drunk for 4 days and I'm grateful for that but today I've felt close so I sit and write this instead of going to the bottle shop to buy some misery in a bottle.
I choose to face life right now and acknowledge how I'm feeling.
With everyone's support and my honesty I can get sober.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 434
Congrats on 4 days! Glad you are here and sharing your story. Good for you for choosing to face life sober. Everything is better sober, even the tough times.
You've certainly come to the right place. SR provides wonderful support and encouragement.
Do you have any support groups like AA?
You've certainly come to the right place. SR provides wonderful support and encouragement.
Do you have any support groups like AA?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 434
Definitely reading and posting here is a great help. I actually haven't used any groups like AA, however I hear it's incredibly helpful. This place has been a life saver for me.
You say you're not feeling well, is that related to not drinking for 4 days? Have you seen a doctor about quitting?
You say you're not feeling well, is that related to not drinking for 4 days? Have you seen a doctor about quitting?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
many many times SR saved my bacon. I cannot encourage people strongly enough to read and post when you feel vulnerable
thanks for sharing that newpower - I felt the shame and guilt too but I found the more days I spent doing good, the less the old days mattered
hang in there
D
D
thanks for sharing that newpower - I felt the shame and guilt too but I found the more days I spent doing good, the less the old days mattered
hang in there
D
D
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