nicm

My mom has been in a treatment facility two times in this past year. It has been very hard on our close-knit family. She has eight beautiful grandchildren and is a wonderful Nana to them. I am the oldest of four kids. My mom is struggling and I am so worried that she will relapse again once she is released next week. We all want to help her without enabling her. She has attended AA for the past year, but has not even gone a full week without a "small slip-up" as she calls them. It's been heartbreaking and none of us know what to do to help. I realize that she is the only one who can recover, but I'm wondering if encouraging her to live in a sober living house might be a good first step? Any thoughts would be great. She is 65 years old and honestly, besides the alcoholism, a social and lovely person!!

Pondlady

Welcome, I don't have any information about a sober living house, but admire your love and concern for your mom. Again welcome, I'm sure others with more information will be along.

nicm

Thanks. I am just not sure how to help/support her in this process... it's hard!

Anna

I don't have experience with a sober living house either. Is her other option going to her own home? I'm sorry you're going through this. Have you and your family considered AlAnon as a support for yourselves?

nicm

My Dad is devoted to AlAnon... he has felt very supported by the group. I have two small kids and a full time job - it's almost the last thing I want to do when there is so little time, but thinking about it. This is her second time in a rehab facility. The first was country club-esque and very expensive - didn't work. This time - state facility ordered by a judge - not sure what is going to happen when she gets out. I think she needs an in between place to go before home! Thanks for the response.

2granddaughters

Tell her if she stays sober she's welcome .. if she drinks she's not. Tell her to get an AA group and a sponsor and get into action.

My buddy was almost 60 (I'm 69) when his daughter caught him drinking with the granddaughter. She cut him off from seeing the baby. The next week he was in AA with me.... that was over 3 yrs ago.

Maybe the best help/support for her is holding her accountable for her actions.

All the best.

Bob R

least

I agree with setting boundaries to protect your own interests and your peace of mind. You've got a lot to deal with, take care of yourself.

Dee74

I have no idea about sober living houses either I'm afraid nicm.

I'd really encourage you - and your siblings - to find time for Alanon - it's important to have support, and the right kind of support.

Not chasing you away, but you may also want to check out our Family and Friends forums as well as this one - there's a lot of good reading and experience down there too.

D

BarbieKen

Hi,
I'm a Mom, a wife, and an alcoholic. The last 7 years of my life I knew my "problem" was much deeper than I thought. With the support of my husband and our grown son (both active in AA) I volunteered to get treatment. At the women's rehab we were a mix of women with varying degrees of surrendering to our disease. Did your Mom express interest in going? Is she done? I can only speak for myself, but all the begging, pleading, arguments, you name it..meant crap. I wasn't done yet. "Mom" has to want this for herself. Half hearted tries don't work. However, it absolutely will work, if your mom been listening she knows. All the best to your mom and the family.