Lilly88

Hi everyone. I came here back in February to get some support with my binge drinking. Since then I have been on a downward spiral :-( have been drinking every weekend suffering from blackouts...saying/doing outrageous things which is just not like me when I am sober. I have started during the week and the next day I filled with guilt/anxiety to the point where I cannot talk to anyone. I am so ashamed. I have a gathering on Saturday I need to attend. I have to go because it's a memorial for my partners dad who sadly passed away 2 years ago. Alcohol will be there I know it. I have said I am driving just really hope I stick by it! Any suggestions for the night for me?

newpower

Don't pick up the first drink. decide matter what you are not going to drink on that occasion. You can do this.

Marcher13

Good for you Lilly for coming back, at some stage most of us have realised that we need SR daily for motivation & inspiration and accountability.

If you will be driving I think you already have your answer, you couldn't in good faith say you would drive and not remain sober. Being the designated driver has been brilliant for me on a few occasions, it gives me a rock solid reason not to drink at all and it means that my other half can have a beer or two without having to worry about the driving. It's about time I was the designated driver.

Lilly88

Thanks guys! It has been so hard. I kept telling myself I didn't have a problem and that it was normal for a 25 year old to go out and have blackouts and carry on drinking until I passes out. It's not I am realising that I am different to other people that drink. I have started to lose myself...have lost all my old interests before I started drinking and looking at my life properly I think I have lost a lot of friends but was so busy going out getting drunk didn't stop to realise where my friends had gone :-( yes driving it my answer however I in the pass have drove and then ended up drinking and getting a cab home but I have made sure I have offered a few people lifts home so this way I would be letting them down as well! Thanks so much guys! So happy to be back :-)

instant

If your partner supports you getting sober, have a chat and get a plan. I used a few excuses early on (fitness kick, medication, driving, early start tomorrow etc). Also if you already have a drink in your hand people tend not to ask you if want a drink.

Arrive fashionably late, and if it gets bad make an excuse and leave (i have used migraine, upset stomach). When you have time under your belt this gets a lot easier ad i no longer use such diversionary tactics.

hypochondriac

Glad you're back Lilly

Have you decided to quit drinking for good? For me that created a massive difference in my thinking patterns. If I had allowed myself to think that I would drink again then I would be drunk right there and then. I had a lot of panicky feelings when I made the decision to quit but that was just my AV. Knowing that made it easier. Have you looked into any recovery methods before to help you? x

Lilly88

Thanks instant for your advice! Arriving late is defiantly a good idea! My partner is supportive and most of the time I end up letting them down :-( I am just going to tell people I will sort my own drinks out when offered. You may fine me on this forum that eve asking for help!
Hypochondriac - yes I am stopping for good! I cannot kid myself and pretend I can just have one because I never can...it ends up full on session till 4am! I'm do not want to wake up one day wondering where my life has gone. The time is now! I have been sober for 2 days and like you starting to feel panicky about the weekend without a drink. I went to an aa meeting once and it really helped. I never went back though :-( I should have done but I just didn't think I needed it. I do obviously

alcoholic123

Hi Lilly,

My feelings are very similar to yours. The only thing to do is quit and not have a social drink at all. If you drive to that gathering then thats your excuse to tell others your not drinking.

shoreladylu

Practice that night in your head. See yourself being sober the whole time. Practice what you'll do when an urge hits. Think about what you're going to say if someone offers you a drink or insists you "need" one. Be prepared! Good luck. You can do it!

Elphaba

I know it may sound childish, but I sometimes reward my self for good behavior. Is there something you could reward yourself with on Sunday for successfully not drinking Saturday? It gives me something to look forward to when I have to endure something I'd rather not. As others said, an escape plan is important as well.

Lilly88

Wow such great advice. I am going to try the method of picturing myself sober. I may even find some awful fb pictures I have been tagged in when drunk and save them to my phone so I can have a look at them when I get the urge (I look possessed) lol! The reward strategy sounds great! I think the no hangover alone will be a great reward but yes your right...I do really fancy the cinema so may treat myself and partner to it on Sunday (money I would have saved in taxi fare anyway) :-) I'm feeling strong this time and quite positive about it all!

DG0409

Play the tape all the way through. Sure, the first drink might sound nice, but where will that lead?

To a second drink, then a third, then a fourth, then too many to count, then blacking out, acting stupid, etc. then a hangover in the morning... then more embarrassing pics posted to FB... then guilt about letting others down when you've said you'll drive them.

Doesn't sound so nice after all, does it??