Boyfriend leaving after rehab
 

My boyfriend of five years waits 10 days before he gets out of rehab to bring me in to meet with his counselor only to break up with me to move back home to his mothers. At first he didnt want to tell me e just wanted to get on a plane and go his whole he has ran from his problems and is going back to the same place it all started. Im okay with his decision but fear that he wont be once he realizes his choices the entire times hes been gone I have made it very clear about my expectations if he came back to live eith me. He has never had to work for anything because his mom has enabled him due to her own guilt. I feel like once again he is taking the easy way out. Not to mention that his entire family parties and drinks all the time. His mom said they are committed to stop drinking but I'm not convinced. Im going to my first alanon meeting tomorrow to help me get through all of this. However they come this weekend to move him out and even she doesn't believe he will last long in her house.

Hi Findingpeace - welcome :)

I think sometimes we have no choice but to stand aside and let other people make their own bed.

I'm glad you're ok with his decision not to come back to you. Sounds like an opportunity for you to move on? :)

D

With you or with his family or with someone who drinks every single day religiously or with someone who doesn't touch the stuff-- if he wants to drink he will. Plain and simple.

A lot of addicts and alcoholics are encouraged not to get or be involved with anyone for the first year because they are so focused on recovery.

You dodged a buller here, it's not likely to be a run road and releases are common in the first year, no one can make him be committed to sobriety but himself. You addiction will always find way and reasons to drink , you just have to be strong enough not to.

I am glad you're going to al anon. You need your own support, I know it might not feel like it now but I promise you this is the best thing for both of you and certainly the best thing that could have happened to you. You would just be waking on egg shells waiting for it all to come crashing down if he stayed living with you

You said you're okay with the decisons. That's all that matters. You're not his savior. It's not your job or even within your ability or anyone else's to fix him. Focus on you and what you want and don't let him guilt trip you into taking him back when he doesn't deseve it or being involved in a relationship you don't truly want

Im okay with decision because I know until he gets over his childhood issues and realizes that you can continue to live in the past. It just sucks when everyone else turned their back on him I was there and after just two months they open arms up. Like i have always said you cant run from yourself and he still running to this time I just have to let him go. It said when someone you love can't even look you in the eyes.

I'm sorry you are going through this. But, it sounds like you have a good attitude. Just try to step aside and allow him to make his choice. In the meantime, hopefully you can move forward with your life and going to AlAnon is a good idea.

The only choice you can make is how you are going to react to this. Sounds like you've got it figured out so far. Take good care of yourself. :hug: