Bad Gadjit

Hi guys, ermmm so I'm not sure if I would be classed as an alcoholic; I do not drink everyday however I am a huge problem drinker and often say or do things completely out of character when drunk/ blacked out. This had been an issue for years and I regularly tell myself I'm going to quit, only to find myself recovering from a nasty hangover again just days after.

The thing is I am genuinely a nice, respecting, caring person when sober but I seem to be my exact opposite when I have drank too much.

I have cheated, insulted & hurt people over the last 8 years or so; been arrested and ruined the best relationship of my life with the girl of my dreams. I'm 26 and this is supposed to be the prime years of life, however mine seem to be filled with embarrassment and regret on a weekly basis. I have tried to limit my consumption however I always get carried away and end up mixing drinks, taking shots and generally getting wasted to the point if blackout and unleashing what seems to be a split personality.

I'm not sure where to start with sobriety; I have continuously proven that I cannot do this by will power alone and so I need to look outside my own control. I want nothing more than to enjoy life without relying on alcohol in social situations but where do I begin?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.
K

least

Just admitting there is a problem is the first step in solving it. Have you thought of going to AA meetings? They are nearly everywhere and they're free. What about counseling? I stay sober with a combination of my counselor and daily visits to SR.

Whichever way you choose, you'll have to make some big changes in your lifestyle in order to stay sober, but it's so worth it.

Sasha4

I could have written your post.
One quiet drink leads to a massive bender, blackout drunk, insults, regret.

My drinking started getting bad at 30 and by 35 it was bad.
I now have nearly 500 days sober!

I don't know if I am an alcoholic, binge drinker, alcohol abuser, alcohol dependent etc etc.
I just know that alcohol makes me unhappy and the people I love unhappy.
I don't need a label to define my drinking behaviour.

It took me a while to 'get it'.
By 'get it' I mean if I don't drink I cannot get drunk.
If I stay away from that first drink, then I cannot blackout, I cannot act the fool or upset people.

My way to do it was to visit here everyday.
I read and learnt as much as I could about alcohol and addiction and recovery.
I attended a few AA meetings. I will be eternally grateful to the people that shared their story with me to stop me facing the same rock bottoms they did. Some of the coolest, most loving, most switched on people I know are in AA.

I think I made the right choice nearly 500 days ago.
I do not think too far ahead, just a day at a time.
I wake up and think 'just for today I will not drink'.
If anything is that bad it could be 'cured' by a drink, then I think, if it is still so bad I will have a drink tomorrow.
Nothing has ever, ever been that bad that I have had to have a drink the next
morning.

There have been many, many times I have regretted not drinking.
I have NEVER regretted not drinking.

My best to you
xx

ru12

It doesn't matter what you call it, drinking is messing up your life and you are wise to address it. AA might be just the thing for you as you expressed the need to have something outside yourself help you.

Anna

Hi K, and Welcome,

You've made a good start by coming here and admitting that you can no longer drink alcohol. Get rid of the alcohol in your house and don't buy anymore. Make a plan to avoid people and places where alcohol is served for quite awhile, until you feel sure of yourself. Be open to making the lifestyle changes that are necessary for recovery.

Bad Gadjit

Thanks for your input guys; I think I will visit the doctor this week; sorry I WILL visit the doctor this week and find out what is available in the area.

I'm not keen on AA due to the size of my town and everyone knowing everyone etc. but will see whats around close by. Also I have heard it's religious which I'm not keen on but we'll see.

Thanks again

ScottFromWI

BG...I'm not in AA myself, but it is Anonymous even in small towns. You should at least give it a try instead of dismissing it on third party knowledge.

newpower

Don't be stressed about people knowing you have a problem with alcohol from the people in aa they are there for the same reason. They will be there to help you. Get the help you need.

deeker

1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?

2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?

3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?

4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?

5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?

6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?

7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?

8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?

9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?

10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?

11. Do you want a drink the next morning?

12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?

13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?

14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?

15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?

16. Do you drink alone?

17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?

18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?

19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?

20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?

To find out how you did, count your "YES" answers,

Are you an alcoholic?

If you answered YES to one of the questions, this is a warning that you may be an alcoholic.

If you answered YES to any two, there's a good chance that you are an alcoholic.

If you answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an alcoholic.

Source: The Twenty Questions: Are You An Alcoholic? was developed in the 1930s by Dr. Robert Seliger, Department of Psychiatry, Johns Hopkins Hospital, and intended as a self-assessment questionnaire to determine the extent of one's alcohol abuse.

I answered 19 yes

Dee74

Welcome Bad Gadjit

Yeah I wouldn't worry about the label right now - if your drinking is causing you and those you love that much trouble, something needs to be done about it.

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - many of them have online components now - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

Hevyn

Welcome K. You found a great place to be.

I was like you - drinking turned me into a completely different person. I was argumentative and obnoxious - without realizing it at the time. I had to stop all together, because once I had a drink in my system, I never knew what the outcome would be. I couldn't trust myself to stay safe or avoid hurting people. I had to stop all together. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at what alcohol is doing to you. Good to have you here!

oak

Welcome. Lots of people stop drinking without using the label alcoholic.

If more support would help, consider SMART Recovery, AA, LifeRing, therapy, etc.

Life is so much better sober.