Itsmytime1234

Well... After convincing myself I could have a few drinks last night, I wake up to not really remembering crashing my car, not sure if I hit another car or not.....oh yeah and now I'm officially single...im not okay right now

MC23

Sorry to hear that you are having a bad time right now. I hope you find some support on here and from your loved ones. Perhaps there's a chance you can salvage your relationship if you start by changing your drinking habits?

I'm surprised I've never jumped behind the wheel and crashed during one of my binge drinking sessions. Always one of my worst fears I would do that and end up killing someone driving around drunk.

GracieLou

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

fantail

That sounds like a really serious situation. Are you going to call the police? If you may have hit another car... that's probably the first priority.

aasharon90

I absolutely understand where you are
coming from because Ive been there,
done that and have pictures of my wrecked
car that hit a concrete culvert sitting on top
the ground less than a mile away from my
little family 22 yrs. ago.

That happened in Feb. 1990 and no that
wasn't enough of a wake up call to make
me quit drinking. Even tho I lost my spleen
and sustained numerous broken ribs, broken
bones, contusions and a 10 day stay in the
hospital with about 4 months to completely
heal nicely, I turned around in August 1990
at the same club, coming home to another
argument and a dare to end the insanity
and downed a hand full of nuprin with wine
and vowed it was over.

Well.......after my little ones couldn't wake
me for their last day of vacation bible school,
and a faint distant ringing of the phone, flags
flew high and it wasn't my time to go.

Family intervention took place where authorities
were called to come take me to the hospital
because I wouldn't go willingly. Not knowing
exactly where I was headed, I sat in the back
of a handless police car, behind a screen feeling
disgrace, mad as hell that my family did this
to me, and how dare you. Im not a criminal
is what I felt sitting behind the cage as I was
escorted to the those who I would put my
life in their hands for what. For how long. Why.

After passing mental, physcological evaluation,
I was told I had a drinking problem and thus
would remain in rehab were I chose to stay
28 days so I wouldn't be sent out of town to
a halfway house for 3 months away from my
little family.

It was 28 days in stay rehab with a 6 week
outpatient aftercare program that set me on
a path of recovery that I would learn steps
and principles to live and encorperate in my
everyday life for which would become many
one days at a time for the past 22yrs.

Today, I continue on my recovery path passing
on my own ESH experiences, strengths and hopes
to others still struggling with addiction of what
my life was like before, during and after my
drinking career.

Because I live sober one day at a time following
suggestions by many other members who learned
to stay sober themselves, I too have learned and
today im reaping the gifts of the promises offered
to us in a program of recovery.

Happy Joyous Free is what Ive learned, appreciate
and am extremely grateful for.

You can too.....

Ghostlight

I've woken up not even remembering where my car was. I found it parked on the lawn, in front of a seedy bar and impounded once.
I understand not being okay. I wasn't okay for twenty years. It was just my way of life. What misery.

Maybe it's time to stop? I did and life is great. Just don't pick up that first drink and you won't get drunk. Simple, but it works. Best to you and keep posting and reading.

Nighthawk8820

Think of how you feel right this moment and then remember it!!! Because this is how you will feel every time you decide to test yourself and have "a few" drinks. Learn from this and then get back up and try again. Its one day, and it will pass. You will feel better again.

sunshinescooby

Thank you aasharon. Sharing really makes this place great.

Anna

I think calling the police would be the first thing to do.

I'm sorry for your relapse and I am glad that you're back here.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear of hour troubles. I agree that calling the police is the best move at this point. It could lessen the charges if you damaged other property/persons.

Do you think this convinces you that you need to look at your sobriety plan more closely?

Itsmytime1234

Thanks guys... Reported accident , can't stop crying feel like a dirtbag

Dee74

I'm really sorry to hear this itsmytime, cos you're not a dirtbag.
Like me tho you seem to be finding yourself in worse and worse situations.

Keep this up and you may end up hurting yourself or someone else.

It's time to bail out on the drinking - do whatever you have to do to get sober and stay that way, man - make this your absolute no holds barred #1 priority.

There is life after booze - and its a heckuva lot better than the life you're living today.

D

deeker

Maybe ur way is not working, ever try AA?

Hevyn

Hi Itsmytime. I'm sorry for what you're going through, but glad you wanted to talk about it here.

I put myself through similar dangerous situations before I finally stopped. It makes no sense what we do to ourselves. What was once fun and relaxing becomes life threatening. When we finally admit alcohol is toxic to us and we can't touch it - everything changes for the better. You don't need it in your life the way you think you do. Maybe it really is your time now. A better life is waiting.

Itsmytime1234

I guess I just feel like ...maybe u are a loser.... Maybe this is it and ur never gunna be a successful normal person. I just can't believe I did this Again. How many times can a person fall and be expected to pick themselves right back up. I am exhausted

Dee74

Your addiction is really babbling overtime today.

Once I removed alcohol out of the equation and looked at myself again I saw a totally different person.

Totally. Different.

Why not give it a try? whatever it takes - rehab, 90 meeting in 90 days, counselling, AVRT..

Whatever you put into your recovery you'll get back itsmytime - you'll marvel at the changes I promise

drunkyjules

I used to feel like this. Like maybe it was too late for me. I kept messing up and thought I was going to be one of those people that would never get it. Like I had gone to far and there was no hope for me. That was just the drugs and alcohol talking. My addiction trying to keep me stuck, making me feel less than all the time, like I wasn't even worth it.

I was wrong. I am worth it, we all are and we can all change but it does take a plan and effort and a whole lot of honestly. I'm 60 days sober today and life is pretty darn good. I don't have to wake up and feel the guilt, the self-hate and the shame. I actually like waking up now!

To me it is complete honesty. I'm an alcoholic and I can't drink. Its like poison to me. It starts with the first drink. I can't have "a couple", I just can't do it. Something about the way my body process alcohol is different from normal people and I can't lie to myself anymore.

I'm sorry for the pain you are in but it can get better and life can be good if you want it. Hang in there and be glad something worse didn't happen. Let this be a wake-up call.

sunshinescooby

sometimes you just have to keep trying.. in the face of everything that seems to be against you, ya' gotta just keep trying. Will we screw up? Yes, of course we will. I did and have.. it's human nature..

wiscsober

I hope you are alright and didn't get hurt too badly...many drunk driving accidents are tragic...I don't have any statistics but it seems like it is the innocent parties that are hurt and maimed...and the drunk driver goes off to jail.

After my first OWI, running a red light and almost t-boning a family car. I sold my car thinking "there I can't drive drunk." Well, I just stole my roommate's car, drunk, just to go to the liqour store.

I crashed my car in to a moving train. Critical condition. Respirator, collapse lung, head injury. A week out of CC, 3 days on mental health, I walked home 2 miles, got some money and was drunk within an hour.

You are not alone buddy! Single? Two failed marriages and several broken live-in relationships. Kept on drinking. Now this was while "in" recovery constantly relapsing (really binge drinking).

What finally really got to me? Three short but hurtful letters to my three young innocent sons about how mean their mother and grandparents were, and why they(boys) didn't love me more!

That did it and now I live a wonderful life -- no female relations -- but the best relations I've had with 3 strong men who do call me Dad.

May recovery and good health speed unencumbered to you! Keep us posted. back

wiscsober

aasharon90 always great posts...thanks