Eddiebuckle

Congratulations! It's that simple... not always easy, but it is that simple. Every day do whatever it takes to not pick up a drink. If you pay attention to when it's hardest to avoid that first drink, you will know where you need to adjust your routine. It's definitely easier if you have others who are also working on their sobriety for face to face support.

Good luck!

stubbs

Can anyone elaborate on what fantail was talking about with relapse prolonging paws?I feel I have paws,I have done some off the wall stuff lately.How much damage can relapse do?I remember reading it somewhere it could bring you back to square one.Im having a hard time believing that though.Well goodnight fellow SR friends I have an early start Ike tmw so off to zzzz land for me

Dee74

This is the best PAWs link I know stubbs

PAWS | Digital Dharma

I'd definitely see your Dr tho - most of us here are just guessing - we have no idea whether this anxiety or depression is PAWs or something else.

D

Nuudawn

Hey Stubbs...well, when we fail to plan, we plan to fail. You mentioned you are winging it. I'm guessing that is ...white knuckle willpower? My opinion is, that don't work in the long run. I'm not a member of AA currently...I was in the past. Although I don't think I will be utilizing it again..I'm staying open as I just might need a meeting someday to keep me from drinking. I also made a list of things I can do INSTEAD of drinking..which I keep handy. Any change in behaviour requires you replace it with something. I am also working with a counsellor..and the tools she has provided me with are priceless. I didn't realize that I lacked both coping mechanisms but insights into why I do what I do. Your addiction cycle started to accelerate as soon as your mind started the debate about whether or not you can drink...you were in hot water ..then. I think that's when we need to post for help...when you choose to not discuss those thoughts..the addiction is smiling with glee...
Good for you staying sober today.

LadyinBC

For me I had to realize that what I was doing wasn't working. Because I really wasn't doing anything at all.

It was always my ego that kept me from going to meetings and reaching out for help. It was my ego that made me think I wasn't like everyone else.

I know some people don't want to go these meetings and I didn't either, but I had to learn to be more open minded and less judgemental about others and these meetings. They are a start even if I don't agree with everything in them. If I would have had to go to these meetings to get my booze I would have gone, so why don't we go when we don't want the booze?

Knowlegdge is power and I had to realize that it was ME who was the problem, not the alcohol. I alone can choose to stay sober or choose to stay drunk. The choice is mine.

LadyinBC

And yes congrats on day 1!

Nuudawn

[QUOTE=LadyinBC;4020731 If I would have had to go to these meetings to get my booze I would have gone, so why don't we go when we don't want the booze?.[/QUOTE]

Awesome thought! Where's our ego when we want our poison?

stubbs

Thanks for link Dee,
It appears a single relapse can pretty much start paws all over from beginning.At least that is what I gathered from that read.Csn anyone that has experienced paws and relapsed share how there relapses affected there paws?

doggonecarl

No, you are suffering plain old withdrawals. PAWS is something you might go through after the initial withdrawal and once you are sober for a while.

I don't know what relapses do for PAWS, but the withdrawals get worse, as you seem to have experienced.

ElegantlyWasted

Hey Stubs. Some great posts on this thread. Hope you're doing well. What stuck out tome me was you saying you really don't have any structure/program right now. I thinks that by itself is really dangerous. Its all about not picking up that first drink, but everyone doesn't pick up in a different way. Gotta have a go to plan/action to break that habit/behavior/thought pattern. I like Soberlicious's plug for AVRT. Turns the "disease" model on its head and goes after stimulus response with some good CBT reprogramming. Gotta break that pattern... Maybe come up with and action plan, post it here, profess it to the SR community and sign it contract style and see what happens?

ElegantlyWasted

I slammed a 12 pack of high octane beer on day 51; that was 5 days ago. I personally disagree that one slip does a total reset and would like to see some real data as to how they reached that conclusion (maybe a week bender would do it). I have not had any exacerbation of symptoms nor feel like I totally reset to day 1. I think the take away is watch those rigid overly focused thoughts, see the bigger picture and try to objectively monitor where you are and what you need. The big thing that helps me is Eating Healthy and Exercise. Seems like you you're focusing on potential bad stuff down the road; maybe try just focusing on the here and now. It happened; ergo do something so it doesn't happen again.

trikyriky

good info , I'll add that to my toolbox

Stubbs : How are you doing ? Day 2

stubbs

PAWS symptoms reach a peak from three to six months after we get clean. Any use of drugs or alcohol, even in small quantities or for a short time, will effectively eliminate any improvement gained over that time, as it will keep the brain from healing. There are a variety of symptoms. Not everyone will experience all of them. Here are some of the main ones.

This is what I read...

doggonecarl

I still think you are confusing PAWS (Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome) with withdrawals, which you are suffering because you drank and are now two days sober. Relapsing lengthen and worsen your withdrawals. I have no idea what it does to symptoms of PAWS, except now you have to go through them again at 3 or 6 months.

Have you even gotten three months sober yet?

Here's the deal, stay sober and you won't have to fret about PAWS or withdrawals or any of the things that drinking causes.

stubbs

No I have not went that long,longest is a month probably.been drinking for 22-23 years.I understand don't relapse and leave paws in the past.I would do that if it were that easy for me.I am asking because I am sick of the depression,anxiety,lack of motivation and feeling a bit slow and hazy in the brain.Would like to know how relapses effect my ability to get back to the old me.

stubbs

PAWS | Digital Dharma

Here is the link from Dee,look under "symptoms".That is where I am reading this.

ScottFromWI

I think the simple answer and fix to all of the problems listed above is to just stop drinking ( and hence stop relapsing )! Whether or not PAWS "resets" or not, you will have withdrawals of some kind every time you drink/relapes. And most likely it will be worse every time. So rather than worrying about something that varies from person to person anyway, perhaps just concentrate on staying sober..right?

stubbs

Was just curious,I understand the obvious.

doggonecarl

This isn't PAWS. This is early recovery. You can get past this. But twenty years drinking...its going to take a while to see your "old" self. Be patient. It will happen if you stay the sober course.

Dee74

I'm not an expert on PAWs Stubbs but I agree with Carl - if the longest you've had is a month I'd suspect PAWs probably isn't involved at all & you're probably just dealing with the cycle of worsening withdrawals.

let me stress: neither Carl and I are Drs tho.

if you want serious, expert advice about your depression and anxiety or any other aspect of your health you need to see a Dr Stubbs.

D