Do you tell them?
 

One day is down; and thanks for the welcomes and support yesterday all. During this morning coffee I'm having I started to wonder if day 2 will be harder than the first. One moment at a time as they say.

Anyhow I'm quite close to my mother and shes out of town, I know I'll tell her whenever it is she gets back. But the girlfriend just emailed me saying shes getting back tonight and wants to see me.

Big question is what and how do I tell he; if anything at all? Anyone else with experience in this?

desire to be sober
 

I didn't tell my bf in the beginning, just kind of let him figure it out from my behavior change. But I don't really recommend that.

I think it's probably best to tell her, then she knows if you're acting strange what's up. Plus, maybe she could be a source of support for you?? In general, I think it's best to be as open and honest as possible with people... So, maybe just tell her you think it became a bit of a problem in your life and you're quitting. If it's a hard day, let her know that you're struggling and why so she won't take any of it personally.

I waited until I went 4 days without drinking and was planning on going to my first AA meeting before I told my wife.

Welcome and hang in there. For myself the reason for not disclosing right away was that MY stopping was like a daily desire that took a couple years to achieve. I was so disappointed in myself that I didn't want to disappoint others as well until I had about 3-5 months of being dry. There are many thoughts on this and perhaps some ones will make sense to you. BE WELL

I suppose it depends how close you are to your gf and how long term the relationship is as to how much you disclose.that said, I would not advise pretending to drink.I'd say Iwasn't drinking,just not sure how much detail I'd go into.

With your mother, be wary as many mothers do not want to acknowledge their children have a 'problem' Mine said 'oh you're not THAT bad' -cue excuse to carry on drinking :(

I just tell people I don't drink anymore.

I could actually see that happening. Good call something to think about

I said to mine that I was stopping for health reasons and to lose weight. No one is likely to query that. My mother said it was a good idea as I was fat :(

congrats on day 2 btw

Yeah, this is why I don't tell people anymore. After you fail a million times it sounds a little stupid telling people you are quitting again... Actions are bigger than words. Hopefully I can tell people I haven't drank in 6 months or something.

'

Be honest with everyone you know. There is nothing shameful in admitting you have an addiction and working to get healthy and sober. Hiding causes shame, and shame holds you back in recovery. Plus, having people know makes it more real and provides more accountability for you and your actions. Its helped me to stay on track, especially when I was just starting out.

I told everyone - but looking back I think I did that for me, rather than them, if you can appreciate the difference.

Examine your motives - tell them if you feel they need to know, but if they don't, and they may worry, it's ok not to say anything.

Recovery doesn't rest on who we tell- it rests on what we do :)

D

The next few weeks will be unpleasant, but its nothing you cant handle. We have all been there, and I am still alive and made it through. Think of it as the price of fare to get over to living how you want to.........free of addiction and all the many, many problems that go with it. Sobriety isnt an event, its a way of life that you must carry and focus on daily. It sure beats the cycle of addiction though, any day, in every way.