Struggiling to keep Head Above Water
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Struggiling to keep Head Above Water
That has been the story of my life. Always struggling w\ something and yet never dealing w\ it . I have to say though this last time must have been my "rock bottom" I always read about . Cause I do want to "not deal w\ it" and get drunk; hell go on a life long bender, but I know I can't nor won't . I am only day 4 but realizing this and several other things over the past couple Days; Thanx To SNST, I have had the "light" turned on .. Not saying I am not struggling w\ the not drinking; cause it is a struggle, but seeing the damage I have caused recently seems to put everything in perspective .. I want that Beer to "calm" my nerves; but I know that 1 will lead to 2 and then 4 and then I will be like Well hell can't just leave 2 in the 6 pack :p Then of course on the 6th one I would look for a cup cause I gotta get more before they are all gone .. lol So w\ all that I have going on and everything I am struggling w\ I am sober and WILL\MUST Stay that way .. Thanx for reading .
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Thanx All .. and No AA is not for me for several reasons But mainly cause I am borderline agoraphobic .. But I am not gonna drink I know that .. Just other issues right now are driving me towards that .. A bender would not help & I do realize that . Maybe I am just whining but it has been so hard for these 4 days .
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Hi August,
I am not a big fan of people, strangers or crowds either. And I am not a die-hard AA person. But, in the beginning of my recovery I did go to a lot of meetings. I always sat in the back and if anyone asked if I wanted to share, I said no thank you, not today. I always left right after the meeting. Never did the steps.....well, I did the first step.
It felt really good to be amongst my own kind. It also gave me a goal for the day or week. Something to hang my sobriety on.
There are lots and lots of different kinds of meetings. Maybe give one a try sometime, perhaps when you are feeling particularly low or at odds. You might be surprised.
Plus, there is free coffee.
I am not a big fan of people, strangers or crowds either. And I am not a die-hard AA person. But, in the beginning of my recovery I did go to a lot of meetings. I always sat in the back and if anyone asked if I wanted to share, I said no thank you, not today. I always left right after the meeting. Never did the steps.....well, I did the first step.
It felt really good to be amongst my own kind. It also gave me a goal for the day or week. Something to hang my sobriety on.
There are lots and lots of different kinds of meetings. Maybe give one a try sometime, perhaps when you are feeling particularly low or at odds. You might be surprised.
Plus, there is free coffee.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 879
August, hi and congrats on your 4 days. Maybe you can plan something to look forward to to help you get through this tough time? I isolate & stay home by myself a lot and sometimes I have to force myself to do something to support my mental health and recovery. Even just working in my journal or reading something good. Best wishes to feel good
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 291
I guess I am kind of like you. My dearly departed Father-In-Law was a legend around here for his AA contribution and sobriety. His own personal story would knock the socks off many and because of that, he saved many of people. Sadly he died before saving me.
One day at a time my friend. Keep posting and always be honest to yourself.
One day at a time my friend. Keep posting and always be honest to yourself.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: northern virginia
Posts: 535
hey august...
i started a journal, too! it's been a great tool. whenever i get too in my head (thinking in circles, the what-ifs, the anger, pain, the past, whatever) i crack the book open and just write for a bit.
i imagine... or visualize, if you will... the creepy stuff physically coming out of my head, down my arm, out of my hand and onto the paper. it helps! the next important part of this exercise for me is to then NOT reread that stuff ever again. i got it out of my head... no need to jam it right back in there!
i keep this journal seperate from the one where i jot down the things for which i am grateful everyday.
sending you strength and peace, august. stay strong in sobriety! you're doing so great already... keep on keeping on!
i started a journal, too! it's been a great tool. whenever i get too in my head (thinking in circles, the what-ifs, the anger, pain, the past, whatever) i crack the book open and just write for a bit.
i imagine... or visualize, if you will... the creepy stuff physically coming out of my head, down my arm, out of my hand and onto the paper. it helps! the next important part of this exercise for me is to then NOT reread that stuff ever again. i got it out of my head... no need to jam it right back in there!
i keep this journal seperate from the one where i jot down the things for which i am grateful everyday.
sending you strength and peace, august. stay strong in sobriety! you're doing so great already... keep on keeping on!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
First of all...I'm really glad you're here making your way through day 4.
Secondly, I too think journalling is awesome. My counsellor has me do it as a means of finding my own voice...and venting within it rather than "going off in reaction" to people I care about or who trigger me. This was a coping mechanism prior to me even quitting drinking. Now that I've told her I've given up alcohol (she's been clean about 20 years)..she was like oh wow...now you're REALLY going to be writing.
Secondly, I too think journalling is awesome. My counsellor has me do it as a means of finding my own voice...and venting within it rather than "going off in reaction" to people I care about or who trigger me. This was a coping mechanism prior to me even quitting drinking. Now that I've told her I've given up alcohol (she's been clean about 20 years)..she was like oh wow...now you're REALLY going to be writing.
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