Hi - I'm a venting newbie.

Old 06-14-2013, 11:38 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Clear Eyes Full Heart
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
FourEyes, you deserve better! I don't see this situation improving either-with guys like him it's always something-never their own fault or actions. Many guys have to deal with parents that get sick, and wedding are stressful on everyone involved, but normal people get through both without abusing alcohol and their spouses. I loved DAB's answer for him saying he'll kill himself if you leave. I would leave as soon as possible. As much as you want to believe he can improve and be the person he's meant to be, it probably won't happen any time soon with his current attitude and actions. Sometimes guys like that only get better when they're with someone they need to rescue and protect and have to be the strong one.
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Old 06-15-2013, 12:45 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6
FourEyes. I am male but had a girlfriend who used to give me such a hard time. No physical abuse thankfully, but I was made to feel at fault for all her problems. I knew she was hard work but there was something I really loved about her, especially in the beginning. When we moved in together, my self esteem just got worse and worse. I was never doing enough for her, even though I paid for the apartment. She would even wake me up a lot in the middle of the night with her strange sleep habits. And I was deemed selfish if I chose to sleep in the spare room when I had to work early.

Alcohol was not her problem. She was her problem, or rather became mine. The writing was on the wall very early on and I just ignored it. I thought it would get better and it just got harder and harder. I had the threats of suicide if i left her and at the time I really wanted to leave but I was really worried about her. I look back on that threat and think it was one of the most selfish things a person could do to another. I highly doubt i would EVER pay attention to somebody who pulled that one out of the bag again.

Everytime I tried to talk about our relationship not working for me and that i wanted to break up I got crazy hysterics and I mean crazy. Rolling around on the kitchen floor crying and screaming for hours. i would just cave in to stop the crying. Big mistake. It wasn't a relationship at that point.

In the end I just packed my stuff and left and I never regretted it once. I instantly felt better and started to enjoy life again (although I was very paranoid about dating for while).

My mother also has cancer. I don't go around taking it out on others, why would I? And to be mean about somebody's dog? Sorry to be so brutal but if your man is showing no signs of changing for the better, do yourself a favour and get out before it gets worse.
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