Making friends on soberrecovery
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 236
Making friends on soberrecovery
Is anyone else having trouble making friends on here ? Might sound kind of lame, but I've been trying to lately. Ill usually message people and not get a message back. And yes, I only discuss sobriety too. I would go into the chat area but I use an iPad and unfortunately it doesn't support the chat.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 236
Is anyone else having trouble making friends on here ? Might sound kind of lame, but I've been trying to lately. Ill usually message people and not get a message back. And yes, I only discuss sobriety too. I would go into the chat area but I use an iPad and unfortunately it doesn't support the chat.
I've PM'd a few members when I felt a private word of encouragement was warranted, and they've always responded. But I wasn't expecting a "friendship" in the normal sense to develop out of these contacts. I value my privacy, so I respect the privacy of others.
Having said that, new friendships are always nice, and I've made friends on a site that I've frequented since 1998. I've met these people in person, and I have developed very solid off-line relationships with these people. Still, it's important to be careful when making private contact with anyone met online.
Hey SHH
I think Feenix makes a great point - many of us are cautious - and that's no bad thing on the net...I certainly wouldn't take it personally and turn that into 'whats wrong with me'
There's a lot of group threads out there to choose from - get on a couple and start posting and making friends
D
I think Feenix makes a great point - many of us are cautious - and that's no bad thing on the net...I certainly wouldn't take it personally and turn that into 'whats wrong with me'
There's a lot of group threads out there to choose from - get on a couple and start posting and making friends
D
Speaking strictly for myself as a newbie, I am open to making friends here, but still a bit shy and hesitant. I haven't done the chat yet (sometimes time constraints pop up and I hate to seem rude if I show up in chat and then leave after 3 minutes), but I'm hoping that as time goes on and people get to know me, friendships will follow naturally. I bet you will find friendships blossoming as time goes on.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Is anyone else having trouble making friends on here ? Might sound kind of lame, but I've been trying to lately. Ill usually message people and not get a message back. And yes, I only discuss sobriety too. I would go into the chat area but I use an iPad and unfortunately it doesn't support the chat.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 291
I really don't know how many times I have requested friends per se'. I just assumed all of us were friends and were here to support each other. Maybe I am an outsider LOL.
I requested you as a friend and hope you will accept. We need each other daily to support one's addiction. Keep Posting.
I requested you as a friend and hope you will accept. We need each other daily to support one's addiction. Keep Posting.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I really hope that this site is offering you support and comfort while you walk in sobriety. We are all here for you. I have no doubt that you will make friends. You are an integral part of this community. Keep posting!
Is anyone else having trouble making friends on here ? Might sound kind of lame, but I've been trying to lately. Ill usually message people and not get a message back. And yes, I only discuss sobriety too. I would go into the chat area but I use an iPad and unfortunately it doesn't support the chat.
Ive been on here a month or so, and gotten some great personal messages, but on the actual forum, its hard to connect. Most of the replies are short and not really meaningful or even helpful, not everyone's, but some. I think a lot of people are fighting their demons and not looking to make friends per say, but more get information, vent, or share their story. Does that make sense?
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
You know, I think people in recovery can be a skeptical bunch, especially with newcomers. Its not you, its the idea of getting involved personally with someone, only to have then relapse and feel like you wasted your time or the possibility of them being too much to handle or too needy. I dont know. Maybe no one says it, but they think it, lol.
Ive been on here a month or so, and gotten some great personal messages, but on the actual forum, its hard to connect. Most of the replies are short and not really meaningful or even helpful, not everyone's, but some. I think a lot of people are fighting their demons and not looking to make friends per say, but more get information, vent, or share their story. Does that make sense?
Ive been on here a month or so, and gotten some great personal messages, but on the actual forum, its hard to connect. Most of the replies are short and not really meaningful or even helpful, not everyone's, but some. I think a lot of people are fighting their demons and not looking to make friends per say, but more get information, vent, or share their story. Does that make sense?
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 236
I understand what you're all saying. However, what I'm searching for in messaging is someone I can speak with about sobriety just like we do in the forum. Only difference is talking about it a little more in depth and one on one rather than having a conversation on the forum where everyone who posted there gets notified. I'm not asking for names or phone numbers or location. That's irrelevant and if someone wants to provide that info that's on them. Just trying to make friends I can connect with about what we're all ultimately here for. If I ever did ask anything that invades privacy, a reply isn't required anyway.
Hi SHH,
For a lot of folks, it takes baby steps to get more social (myself included.) Sometimes just joining is a big step, and then actually posting can be another big step. So coming out of one's shell and personally connecting can sometimes take awhile. I'm sure you'll connect with many more friends here now.
I must also add that virtually every post and response has been very helpful to me. All it takes is one supportive sentence or even a few encouraging words that make all the difference in the world.
For a lot of folks, it takes baby steps to get more social (myself included.) Sometimes just joining is a big step, and then actually posting can be another big step. So coming out of one's shell and personally connecting can sometimes take awhile. I'm sure you'll connect with many more friends here now.
I must also add that virtually every post and response has been very helpful to me. All it takes is one supportive sentence or even a few encouraging words that make all the difference in the world.
I found the sort of friendship you're talking about on the monthly support threads. I would consider the people who have shared their journeys with me from the very beginning to be very good friends. We have sort of grown-up together. After a year or so of sobriety our conversations have evolved from how to stay sober to how to live life! A couple of those friendships have moved beyond SR into real life now. We are scattered all over the world, unlikely ever to meet up, but that's unimportant. I know where they are and they know where I am if we need each other.
Have you thought about joining one of the monthly support threads? You can always strike up a PM conversation with someone who seems to understand and support each other privately? That's what I did. And still do!!
People can be hesitant to be too open on a public forum.
Have you also got support in your real life?x
Have you thought about joining one of the monthly support threads? You can always strike up a PM conversation with someone who seems to understand and support each other privately? That's what I did. And still do!!
People can be hesitant to be too open on a public forum.
Have you also got support in your real life?x
I agree with Jeni. It's in themonthly support groups that i've made the closest friends. It takes time but in the monthly groups you build up a rapport.I've even kept in touch with people from some of the groups I joined but didn't stay sober in. I don't use chat.don't take it personally though, many people are wary or even just wanting to use SR for info.It takes time but you will meet people you'll click with
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