Filthy mood swings
 

Well i am on day 68 and for the last couple of days i have been in a really filthy mood. My usual optimism isnt really working and my inner voice is playing a few games with me as well. I have read a little about PAWS and am starting to worry that i may have some issues along these lines. I need to get out of this frame of mind as soon as possible particularly with the weekend looming. GGGRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Maybe some exercise? Kick-start those natural endorphins?

He buddy , smile , it takes less muscles. No really . I experience those too. Hate it , but it's normal for recovery . Fight thru . I want to see the Pedro that cheers me up. Go easy.....

It could very well be PAWS and that's normal. It will pass. In the meantime keep yourself busy and as calm as you can. :hug:

I dont really dont know what is wrong with me since yesterday. I have a tear in my eye just reading this post??? I am not normally full of emotions (any emotions really). I think i will leave work early and go home and rest. Thanks for your support :)

Pedro my buddy I had this this past weekend could not shake it!!! It took a good four days and the cloud lifted. I was angry sad missed the fun times drinking kept thing damn I wish I was 20 again or damn I wish I hadn't drank so much that last time and I wouldn't be here. Ride this storm out. I have EVERY cinfidence in you that you can and will get through this! Happy 68.... Remember you still have a day on me:)

It's okay to have those off days. Perhaps you are experiencing a type of feeling/emotion that is new for you now that you are in recovery. I think it is wonderful that you are feeling. You are a person in recovery and these type of ups and downs are normal. I have faith in you!

i think it's just new to you.

it took me a long time to realize that i actually have feelings and emotions. and i will have really sh..ty days and freaking great days.
getting in touch with your feelings can be a little scary. i'm still often confused by these strange "feelings" that are actually pretty normal for everyone.
i wouldn't worry about PAWS or any of that stuff for that matter. half of it is made up anyway (yeah that's my opinion).

exercise, eat well, and don't read too much negative stuff on the internet :)

PAWS happens to everyone in recovery, so chalk it up to what it is, and dont pay to much attention to your thoughts and mind for the next couple of days. Try and take it slow, and be as stress free as you can. It will pass, try and enjoy the weekend.

Alcohol certainly has it's long term effects don't it ?

I had mood swings , quite full on , related to alcohol, i think it was "just" another phase of recovery . If your anything like me give it a few weeks and things will change .

Stick with it ,
bestwishes, M

I have to agree, it's just your emotions coming through without being numbed. I abused a LOT of things, got addicted to crack.

When I chose recovery, I kept reading "feel your feelings" and I honestly didn't know how to do that? FWIW, I'm also a codependent in recovery, so I had a double whammy.

What I learned is that feelings won't kill me. They may make me edgy, tearful, angry, or a number of emotions, but I survived. Each time I got through that, I got a bit stronger.

I lurked here for a couple of years, finally signed on at 6 months clean. My point to this is that someone once mentioned "all you've been through in the last year" and I had to wonder WTF they were talking about?

Oh yeah....going before the judge with over $4,000 in tickets with $1000 I'd worked hard for and he dismissed everything else because I was in recovery. There were many other things but honestly? Though they were HUGE when I was going through them and I burned up the threads on SR, I'd gotten through them and didn't even think of them as a big deal.

Every step forward is a milestone...even being grateful for something small.

Though I don't think I went through PAWS (I went from opiates to crack) I do know that even the smallest things we get through mean a lot. After making $40/hour, and now making a little over minimum wage with a horrid boss? I made it. After being unemployed for several months then finding a job that was just over minimum wage? YAY! Driving down the road and seeing goats with their babies? YAY!!

When I started looking for stuff to be grateful for (OMG, my car is on empty and I made it to the gas station!!) it really did help.

Recovery is hard, at first. I can promise you, though, as you continue on that path, you will find more to be grateful for and you will grow into a "new and improved" person. I don't mean that bad things won't happen, that you won't want to beat yourself up for what you've done. Been there, done that.

What I can promise you is that the more you work it, however you do it (SR is my main support) is that you will learn to love yourself, you will learn what is good for you and what is not.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Hang in there... You're doing great;)

Pedro when I got to week 8 or so (about where you are now) I was stunned by the filthy moods that descended because I am an optimistic and happy person but, as Impurrfect said, "it's just your emotions coming through without being numbed".

When I can feel myself being swayed or weakend I plan the time ahead...maybe think about doing that with the weekend. And be kind to yourself.

This might be one of those good times to get your guitar out, and create a song. Emotions, whether great or filthy, are perfect breeding grounds for a new song. It might also keep your mind off the inner voice (beast) that will try to convince you to drink this weekend.


Thanks for sharing with us, Pedro, we're all in this together. Some good days, and some crappy days, hey, sometimes half of each in one day, eh?? It's not easy, for sure......

I'm looking to get out of the blue feeling myself. It was great yesterday, no thoughts of drinking, I was too busy........but today?? Yeah, it's like an old boyfriend, reminding me of the "good times" we had. I had to think of all the aftermath of those "good times", and say "I don't think so, buddy, not today!!"

Aw, just hang in there, and remember how Fantastic you really are! (We think so, anyway)

Peace,
~Heartfan

Thanks everyone for the support and advice. I am hanging in there on day 70. Still not quite myself but the weekend is nearly over :) Going to go out and keep busy today. Heartfan82- my guitar has had a bit of workout Friday night and Saturday :) Have a great day everyone :)

glad you're feeling at least a little more settled Pedro :)

D