Midlifecrisis

I know imperfect, thanks. Yes I guess at least I'm honest. I just like to talk...

Nuudawn

Is your subject line "Can't Freakin Stop" the only truth you want us to hear? No one here can drive over and haul your arse off to detox.
In my eyes, coming clean to your husband is your only shot here...he's the only one in a position to help.

Midlifecrisis

I don't need detox yet. I'm only a few days into using. I just need to stop. And I will. I would dearly love to do rehab again (I did it when I was 21, now 35), I believe it would e really good for me, I crave focus groups etc. Its just not gojng to work for me at this stage of life.

trikyriky

Mlc , Hi Hon, Be Kind On You. Believe

Midlifecrisis

Thanks TR. How are you gojng?

Mizzuno

If you want this bad enough anything can happen. This road is not easy, and none of us are perfect. There are some measures that can be taken to stop the use and get back on track. You said that you will stop....Like today? Tomorrow? Tomorrow never comes. MLC you are stronger than you think. There is a reason for all of this, and maybe it is to get down to the root. Are there any psychologists that you are willing to call?

Living

Not much to add. Read through all these pages whenever you want to use. Give husband medication to dispense. Get the surgery you mentioned so there will not be a need for pain pills.

Keep posting.

trikyriky

I'm Good , hoping You Are , sending (((((huggs)))))

Midlifecrisis

Yeah Mizzuno, I am going to ring the counsellor today to check that I have an appointment next week and I will ask her who she recommends as far as psychs go. I obviously need to do more than I am doing. I need to get back to trusting in God more than anything. I used to be so passionate

Thanks living and Riky.

LazyBonez

after you've been hooked on opiates before.... it only takes a few days to get withdrawals all over again. No matter how long you were clean. Good luck to you. You'll definitely have withdrawals though. I'm just pointing that out because I read a couple pages back or something you stated that you won't get withdrawals because it's only been a couple days.

deeker

You don't have many stages left. That's the problem, you don't believe that.
Keep doing it your way, I'll check back with you in 6 months. Maybe then you may be at the right stage in your life. When you are sitting all alone, sleeping on someone's couch on Christmas Eve while your husband is tryin to play Mom, Dad and Santa Claus.

We can't help someone who really does not want help and if we do we are depriving others who could really use the support, help and hope. Take Care Mid! You'll be in my prayers.

I spent many years just wasting people's time when I knew even as I was talking to them that everything coming out of my mouth was BS. And two minutes later I was in the bathroom snorting lines.

This does not benefit you and it does not benefit me therefore it's time to move on. Not everyone is going to get clean. No matter how hard we try to help them. They have to want it.

Midlifecrisis

Lazybonez, yeah I had mild withdrawals when I go up this morning. Tomorrow is stop day.

ScottFromWI

Why not today?

deeker

Tomorrow never comes.

Midlifecrisis

I've already had some today

Lenina

(((MLC))))

something that helped me get and stay sober was coming to a better understanding of addiction. When I was able to separate myself from the addiction, it was much easier to not act on the urge/craving/compulsion to drink. Are you familiar with AVRT and Rational Recovery? There's many threads about it in the Secular Section. You might find it helpful.

I believe addiction is a disorder or a form of disease. I also know I am not my disease. I don't believe you are either.

Please take care of yourself.

Love from Lenina

ScottFromWI

So don't take any more. Every day will make it harder.

ImperfectlyMe

MLC you are sooo honest and I commend and respect you for that! Use that honesty to get real with yourself! I am coming from a place if compassion. You are tricking yourself. You tricked yourself when you sat in that ER last week which has led you to the here and now. I know you are in Australia... But there are residential rehabs that offer scholarships ( I will google some for you) look how many people you have just in this forum glued to your words responding to threads pages and pages of them. I think if you could make yourself a great case to get a rehab scholorship!

Midlifecrisis

Thanks lenina, Scott And imperfect. I love you guys, I will get there.

Imperfect, it's not the money, it's the kids and my job which make it impossible. It's ok though. I know I can get better.

Living

Glad you are seeing your Dr. soon and hopefully discuss EVERYTHING with him/her. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for 17 years, but kept my alcoholism to myself. Once I told him the truth, things started getting better.

Nobody can help you but yourself. Doctors cannot help if they are not informed by us the patient.

You can do this.