mmc514

But figured I would. I have tried giving up alcohol, and lasted about two days... So far, it's been controlled, as in, I'm staying with a friend and she knows my problem and is watching my every move. I've drank a few beers, but definitely not the the extent that I normally would. I am having a lot of difficulty controlling, and during the day am really trying to keep myself busy. I am very concerned, because everytime I have one beer, I don't want to stop. Leaving the restaurant this evening, I kept wanting more and more, and she even asked me how I felt, which was not good, since I was craving. I am not sure if this post sounds stupid or not, but I just felt like venting.

Nonsensical

Came across a good analogy today:
Feeding a craving is like feeding a stray cat. Its mewing a little and it seems harmless just to feed it a little to shut it up. But then the next day it is back, mewing louder because it knows you'll feed it. Every day, more mewing, louder and louder. Then it starts bringing a friend. Twice the mewing. Then 2 friends. Mewing and mewing and mewing. Soon you are feeding a whole army of cats to stop the wailing.

You're better off not feeding the stray cat to start with.

Best of Luck.

FreeFall

Great analogy! I stopped drinking, but I still feed stray cats lol

newhope01

Me too... lol

Crossfitdad

It sounds like moderation is too much to ask for you. I'm the same way when it comes to tobacco products. Try giving it up completely for a few days. Best of luck.

On a side note: in college we had these three strays that weren't let in the house. One day I decided to let them in because it was cold outside. For some reason these cats like to 'nurse' on my shirt...they'd paw on it and suckle on the shirt for a very long time leaving a big wet spot. I've never seen that in a cat before or since. My roommate comes home to find me laying on the couch with three cats suckling on my tshirt like I was a momma with kittens...he says "what the @&$! Is going on in here?!?" I couldn't stop laughing for like thirty minutes and it hurt so hard. I think I had a major asthma attack.

Bubovski

You just reminded me of nearly 20 years trying to drink sensibly.
Only one drink every half hour, keeping a note book, working out a std drink by dividing 750 mls by the indicated std drinks on the bottle, even invented an alcohol glass marked like a medicine glass..................ended on Jan 15 with a mega binge.

Marjoram

All the cat talk is a good laugh, and something I think we all need sometimes. Crossfitdad - that's hilarious.
mmc514....I have found if I have one....it's all over and I just keep drinking. I take a sip, and then another, and then another. Before you know 1/2 a bottle of booze is gone. I know I have to make this vicious cycle stop. Sounds like you know there's a problem, and that you want to fix it. That's a great big step.
Thank you for posting....you are on the right track for making some changes in your life. Be well.

Nighthawk8820

Your sober strategy isnt working, at all. You will never be able to have just a few and not end up tanked when left to your own devices. It just doesnt work and you wont always have your friend watching you. You need to change things up and stop repeating the same approach over and over, because its not going to be successful. You may need outside help, which means rehab or maybe even outpatient, but at this point, I dont think you will be able to lick this issue on your own. I want so much for you to beat this and experience the many, many joys of sobriety.............its just getting you to that point. You feel me?

mmc514

I about died reading this, thanks for the analogy!

mmc514

Unfortunately, I am feeling you... Or not unfortunately, IDK. Regardless, I honestly have tried giving it up, and I am not sure how. I guess the help would work, but I don't even know if I want to do it. I mean, I do... But it's like a huge conflict in my head. If that makes sense.

Grungehead

Hi mmc,

It makes perfect sense to me...but then again I'm an alcoholic.

There are two things I needed to first get sober.

1. I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink
2. I had to be willing to ask for help

There's other stuff I needed too but I needed those 2 on day 1.

bexxed

Thanks.

I need to remember this. I have been pretty strong the past few days, but I haven't been sideslammed by the alcoholic dialogue in my brain either... at least in a few days. "Look, you haven't drank in 3 weeks. And most of that wasn't that hard... so... alcoholic? No. You just got on a bender, but one beer isn't a bender." Or some other mutant excuse.

Because the first sip, I'm planning the next one. "Oh, this is so nice and cold. I don't want it to get warm, what a waste, especially since I'd stopped this for so long. OK, I'll order another one when she comes back, so it doesn't warm up. Oh, I better make sure I get out of here before the liquor store closes. I want more of these later. Wait, I said only 1. Well, I might as well, I mean, I did it, right? What? No more booze tonight would kill the buzz. How am I going to sleep if I don't drink more beer? No, I'll get some wine."

Whew. So exhausting. And important to remember. Thanks.

I think the moments that come and go, for me, where I think I want to drink, and then say NO, are not nearly as long and torturous as what you described... that arduous bargaining process we go through trying to "control" our brains on alcohol.

Take good care, keep coming back.

Nuudawn

Forgive me, I am not that familiar with your story mm. Why are you trying moderation over total abstinence? What are your reasons?

Marbles881

If your reading this

Marbles881

Hey