VickiNTX

When I turned 60 this past April I took stock of my life and made yet another decision to be sober. I got a DWI last summer. It was on the weekend when I went out of town to visit my son and his in-laws. He was so upset with me that I did stop for 3 months, but couldn't maintain it. Now at the age of 60 and on heart medicine I have to gather trash on the road for community service.

I don't know if I can do it this time. My whole life has been one drinking event to another. I don't know how to live life sober. Everyone I know drinks. I've attempted to be around the same people in the same places just doing it sober, but it's making me a nervous wreck. I just come home and cry because I feel so alone, like I don't belong anywhere.

I just know that I can't drink anymore. I'm tired of being a disappointment to my family. I know I was a disappointment to my husband, but he passed away so I can't make that up to him.

Anyway, thanks for letting me say these things. I'm a work in progress. I'm 7 weeks sober.

Hevyn

Welcome to SR Vicki! It's great to have you with us.

I was older, too, when I finally quit for good. I was completely dependent on it by the time I stopped - I knew I wouldn't have long left if I kept going the way I was. I hurt, confused, and disappointed everyone in my life. Drinking was no longer fun or relaxing - it had become dangerous and unpredictable. I promise, it's wonderful to be free of it. It only feels strange in the beginning - and you can do this.

ImperfectlyMe

Hey Vicki welcome.... 1stly congrats in 7 weeks that's awesome. You can do this I'm only a few weeks away from you in sobriety dates... And at this point is when the monotony of sobriety is setting in. Keep your eye on the prize. This site is amazing read read read post post post. You'll get through this. You don't have to feel this way. 60 is young you've got way more living to do!

So sorry about your husbands passing have you dealt/grieved/worked through that loss? Perhaps writing him a letter may help release pain... He wouldn't want you struggling and hurting like this. Be good to yourself!

Olive1

When I finally stopped drinking, I was a wreck for months. I missed the drinking.....it was like I had lost my best friend. But I was also a wreck from drinking. It took a while for my body and mind and soul to recover. Once the cloud eventually lifted, I slowly found a better life for myself without the drinking.
It has been a long journey, but more than anything, absolutely worth it.
I hope you give yourself a chance. I truly believe you can do this.

Pedro1234

7 weeks is fantastic VickiNTX. keep up the good work.

least

I'm glad you found us. You've come to a very supportive site. Read and post as you like; we're here to listen and support you.

Ptcapote

Hi Vicki, and welcome. I am so sorry that you're having to go through this now but you are amazingly brave in confronting it head on and wanting to change your life. Seven weeks is awesome! You can totally do it and, as others have said above, it definitely gets easier and easier as time goes by. I also had no idea how to live life without wine. No clue whatsoever. I am only four months sober but I am finding that the more I put myself out there (even baby steps that terrify the crap out of me), the more I am finding people who are like me or at least willing to give the sober me a chance. It didn't happen over night but it IS happening. Plus being here is a huge part of my recovery. I feel both cared for and accountable to this "family" and you are never, ever alone at SR. Hop on here anytime you feel down or like crying and you'll find someone online.

The past is done. The good thing is that we always get another chance and have something to learn from. All we can do is make right now and then tomorrow better.

Do you have any outside support?

So good to have you here!

Nighthawk8820

I find anyone who gets sober for another person, be it a loved one, a spouse, or what have you............usually relapses. You have to want this for yourself bad enough to change everything you are doing now. You will need a new social circle, outside support (AA or this forum even) and some time to really reflect on yourself and why you drink. 60 is no excuse not to change, because you may live to be 90 for all you know. That is 30 more years trapped in the same desperate cycle. I doubt you will live that long if you go back to alcoholism, as it always gets worse with time, if you were to keep drinking. Ask yourself what it is you want from life, what you have been missing out on, and what you are willing to commit to being sober and staying that way.

It can seem overwhelming thinking about not drinking forever, especially when you are so new. The thing is, it wont be such a big deal as you progress and realize how much better life is, and how much easier it can be without alcohol. Everyone is scared of the idea of no more booze at the start, but try and not think about that. Think about today, live in the moment. Tell yourself, I will not drink today. Then stick to that............I promise you, it WILL get easier. The first 90 or so days seem to be the trickiest, especially after the initial high of being sober wears off and you have to start putting in the work towards a better you. Then there is PAWS, which I suggest you google to educate yourself , so it wont scare you once you experience it. 7 weeks is great............stick with it buddy!