AugustWest11

got a bit more accomplished already and it is only 7am .. Figured I would start the post on a good note .. But my convo last night didn't go as well as hoped I have to move; no time frame and was told she would help, but not sure I will have internet access when I do go But I do have the app and a million Dunkin Donuts up here; so I will try and check in every am .. If for nothing else to keep me focused .. But good note is I work tonight so in my melt down instead of losing the 2 days of work I thought I would lose; I only lost 1 ... But ..... lol Bad news to that is Day 2 blows have not\can not sleep and I work at 11 pm :p So yea it is craziness but I am SOBER & Plan to stay that way .

MidnightBlue

Hi, August.

Really glad to see you posting.

You are right - stay focused on being sober.

Sorry your convo didn't way the way you wanted it, but still - there's some positive side as well - no time frame and help.

You'll be able to handle it. Just stay sober.

Best wishes to you. Keep posting.

AugustWest11

Right now; I HAVE to keep posting .. I know that .. But Thanx MB ..

raja12

The early days r diffclt. Sorry u r having other issues right now 2 complicate it. I surely relate to that. That's almost a daily thing for me.You can do this though. Sending good thoughts and strength your way.

AugustWest11

Thanx raja I am & will continue to do this.

ImperfectlyMe

Glad to see you hanging in there!

AugustWest11

Thanx .. I am trying; I feel like my head is gonna explode from all the stress I am dealing w\ But I have too much to lose now ... I got rid of my old term "I don't wanna deal." & replaced it w\ "Ok I gotta deal." .. Work will take SO much weight off my shoulders right now too .. Sux though I work in 6 hours an only have 4 hours sleep in 2 days lol But ehh I have gone in in worse states ...

Dee74

Yeah you have to deal - and, not matter what happens, you will be ok

D

AugustWest11

Not sure now :p Mind was racing and almost 10 years ago my Ex came to visit where I grew up and she said "Aren't you scared ??" as we walked in the inner city I looked at her and said, "I am scared of nothing but dieing alone." and now; it just seems like after 15 years I just might I am such a basket case today work will be so fun LOL

Pedro1234

Hang in there AugustWest11. Sending positive vibes your way

Dee74

Like I said to someone else today AW you can't possibly know your future.
Don't judge the rest of your life on how you feel right now - that would be a mistake.

D

AugustWest11

Thanx Dee .. Yea maybe your right .. But I am trying to be Positive and focused on the task at hand ..

Marjoram

Hey August - stay on track. Don't ever worry about what the future holds as Dee mentioned. Let the future fall into place. Worrying is human nature's biggest waste of time. Use your mind and energy to do something that makes you feel good.

In the meantime, glad you are on day 2. I'm going on 23 hours without a drop! Thank goodness. It feels good, but yes, kind of scary.

Take care and be well.

AugustWest11

Yea my last day 1 was actually rougher; which is strange cause I binge and this Binge was By far worse then the other one .. But Great You got a Day Congrats The hardest part for me yesterday was cleaning up "messes" I created w\ friends an all .. but so far so good

MidnightBlue

Hi, August.

Glad to see you are more upbeat today and ready to deal with all the matters.

The other member here have me advice: "walk through you fear, and then eventually you'll find yourself on the brighter side".

I can't say I am doing great following this advice, but I am trying.

Everything gonna be ok. The world is built on that.

Take care.

AugustWest11

So people keep saying :p Not sure I am upbeat today; actually too sore to be anything really lol But Thanx