Memories of the liquor store cashier
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
I used to switch between 5, maybe 6 liquor stores when i lived in Alabama and they all still recognized me. Up here, just recently, i was hitting my grocery store's liquor department. I guess i just gave up trying to hide (and there's this crazy drinking culture in Milwaukee). There's a guy who seems to always be there when i arrive. Just a few days ago, i arrived and he said he wondered when i was going to show up. I was so embarrassed but i just threw on my smile and said, "yup! I'm here!" "Did you ride your bike?" "Oh no, not today!" It's so shaming when you realize that you've become "that person."
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
Thank you for this gift. Funny, I was so far gone I couldn't even care less who knew me or saw me buying. I was the girl who would get paranoid that people would see my recycling bin (always the environmentalist even while sauced to the moon).
Another known alkie in the neighborhood would often jar at me in regards to the bin. Isn't it curious how my drinking somehow made his addiction less horrible even though my bin was full of wine bottles and his bourbon bottles were hidden at the bottom of his garbage can ?
I wonder how he will feel when he sees the bin this week and all it has in it is Perrier and Pellegrino bottles. It sure would be nice if it motivated him to stop.
Another known alkie in the neighborhood would often jar at me in regards to the bin. Isn't it curious how my drinking somehow made his addiction less horrible even though my bin was full of wine bottles and his bourbon bottles were hidden at the bottom of his garbage can ?
I wonder how he will feel when he sees the bin this week and all it has in it is Perrier and Pellegrino bottles. It sure would be nice if it motivated him to stop.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by seahorse207
I was a bar drinker so I didn't care who saw me or who thought I was an alkie. Everyone there was a ''partier'' like me. I had no idea I was an alcoholic and I rarely went to stores back then.
Then I sobered up and joined AA. I've had many many slips over the years. I stopped going to bars. So my issue was not running into any AA members while I was buying me booze. Once I was headed to the wine section and I ended up being apprehended by an AA person who took me to a meeting. So to avoid that, I tried not to ever go to a store right around the time an AA meeting started or ended so I wouldnt run into anyone going to , or coming home from a meeting. When I went to the store, I would also scan around to make sure there were no AA members around! LOL.
Then I sobered up and joined AA. I've had many many slips over the years. I stopped going to bars. So my issue was not running into any AA members while I was buying me booze. Once I was headed to the wine section and I ended up being apprehended by an AA person who took me to a meeting. So to avoid that, I tried not to ever go to a store right around the time an AA meeting started or ended so I wouldnt run into anyone going to , or coming home from a meeting. When I went to the store, I would also scan around to make sure there were no AA members around! LOL.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
It has been sad and interesting to read these liquor store threads. Truthfully, being a drinker most of my adult life and being raised by heavy drinkers, I don't think I ever registered the "level of shame" I should have regarding hiding my drinking habits. I remember being shocked when 20/20 did a story on the "shameful and shocking" phenomenon of Happy Hour/Playdates with kids. My friends and I did this every Friday for years. I remember being completely surprised that this was considered "not okay".
It is just dawning on me now that my parents would literally drive to another state on "wine runs." I always assumed it was for better prices or a bigger selection at this market that they liked to go to, but now I realize they probably didn't want to be recognized buying all of their stash close to home. Things that make you go, hmmm!
Sadly, my parents have started to go to bars every single night. They like to go to Early Bird Specials and eat at the bar, but now I see it is just a ruse for their alcoholism. I am not stupid, I swear, but honestly all of this is just really dawning on me in the last year or so. I guess denial truly is the most powerful weapon in the AV's arsenal.
It is just dawning on me now that my parents would literally drive to another state on "wine runs." I always assumed it was for better prices or a bigger selection at this market that they liked to go to, but now I realize they probably didn't want to be recognized buying all of their stash close to home. Things that make you go, hmmm!
Sadly, my parents have started to go to bars every single night. They like to go to Early Bird Specials and eat at the bar, but now I see it is just a ruse for their alcoholism. I am not stupid, I swear, but honestly all of this is just really dawning on me in the last year or so. I guess denial truly is the most powerful weapon in the AV's arsenal.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Costa Mesa, CA
Posts: 214
I can relate to all of these posts...over the years I lived in several different places but always alternated between a nearby grocery store, corner liquor store and drug store such as Rite Aid or CVS...I did this even before my drinking got to be a real problem. Yes, I often ran into the same cashiers towards the last few years of my drinking, no matter where I went or what time...among the most mortifying was arriving at Albertsons at 6am...a couple of times they did not open right on time and I would walk to one side of the store and wait impatiently for the doors to slide open. When they did not open, I would sidle over to the doors on the other side of the store...same result.
!@$#! I would wait for a few minutes at that point until at last the doors opened. Once inside, I would buy a couple of bottles of warm wine along with a couple of food items for camouflage...this particular store had only the self serve line open at that ungodly hour so I would slide my wine through and hear "approval needed"...It was always the same clerk who would come running over to "clear my items"...one am I went in there and did NOT but any wine or alcohol. This same clerk spotted me, walked over and said, "Do you have any items for me to clear?" "No. Not today." was all I said!
!@$#! I would wait for a few minutes at that point until at last the doors opened. Once inside, I would buy a couple of bottles of warm wine along with a couple of food items for camouflage...this particular store had only the self serve line open at that ungodly hour so I would slide my wine through and hear "approval needed"...It was always the same clerk who would come running over to "clear my items"...one am I went in there and did NOT but any wine or alcohol. This same clerk spotted me, walked over and said, "Do you have any items for me to clear?" "No. Not today." was all I said!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Costa Mesa, CA
Posts: 214
Originally Posted by Deluxe
Gee every one of these brings back some appalling memories.
I had 3 preferred bottle stores on my list. To make my list of preferred stores the criteria was that it had to be "open". That was pretty much it. One of the stores I went to most they would see me coming and before I had even stepped in the door they would reach for the bottle of vodka behind them.
I used to buy half bottles, or 375mm of vodka because they were easy to hide. I could buy 2 or 3 and plan to "sacrifice"one. That meant make it easy-ish to find. So if my partner was suspicious I would offer it up or have it conveniently found, make my apologies and know that I had tucked away exactly what I needed for the day.
Bottle shop workers would constantly say to me "you know this is a very expensive way to buy vodka, why don't you just buy a bottle?". I used to come up with all sorts of excuses. The one I used most was that I had a boat and because they were made of plastic they wouldn't break when they fell....you know, if the water gets a little choppy.
Once I was asked "what sort of boat do you have?" Which then led into a conversation on yachts and concluded with me claiming to own a specifically numbered limited edition. The guy that owned the store was himself a sailor and knew the specific line of New Zealand built Farr 10-20s that I was claiming to own. Mine was number 18 of the last 20 built by the shipbuilder before retiring the line. He informed me that number 18 had sunk off Tasmania in 1998 to his knowledge, to which I answered that I had had it raised from the ocean floor, salvaged and claimed it and had it rebuilt.
Suffice to say that we both knew I was talking s*#t. All for a half bottle of vodka.
People know. They all know. Everyone knew accept us. Once I was stopped by an old woman one morning as I was making my morning pilgrimage to the local Hotel which opened at 9:30. She was walking a small dog. She asked me out of the blue if I was ok. I answered that I was. She then said, and bear in mind that I had never laid eyes on this woman before, "you know you drink too much?". Dumbfounded I asked her why she said that and she told me that she often saw me walking past her house drinking for a bottle of wine in the mornings. That was me on the way back from my morning trip to the Hotel after it opened.
The insanity is just astounding when I look back. And yet when I was there it all seemed so unobvious and subtle. So skilfully hidden and managed.
I had 3 preferred bottle stores on my list. To make my list of preferred stores the criteria was that it had to be "open". That was pretty much it. One of the stores I went to most they would see me coming and before I had even stepped in the door they would reach for the bottle of vodka behind them.
I used to buy half bottles, or 375mm of vodka because they were easy to hide. I could buy 2 or 3 and plan to "sacrifice"one. That meant make it easy-ish to find. So if my partner was suspicious I would offer it up or have it conveniently found, make my apologies and know that I had tucked away exactly what I needed for the day.
Bottle shop workers would constantly say to me "you know this is a very expensive way to buy vodka, why don't you just buy a bottle?". I used to come up with all sorts of excuses. The one I used most was that I had a boat and because they were made of plastic they wouldn't break when they fell....you know, if the water gets a little choppy.
Once I was asked "what sort of boat do you have?" Which then led into a conversation on yachts and concluded with me claiming to own a specifically numbered limited edition. The guy that owned the store was himself a sailor and knew the specific line of New Zealand built Farr 10-20s that I was claiming to own. Mine was number 18 of the last 20 built by the shipbuilder before retiring the line. He informed me that number 18 had sunk off Tasmania in 1998 to his knowledge, to which I answered that I had had it raised from the ocean floor, salvaged and claimed it and had it rebuilt.
Suffice to say that we both knew I was talking s*#t. All for a half bottle of vodka.
People know. They all know. Everyone knew accept us. Once I was stopped by an old woman one morning as I was making my morning pilgrimage to the local Hotel which opened at 9:30. She was walking a small dog. She asked me out of the blue if I was ok. I answered that I was. She then said, and bear in mind that I had never laid eyes on this woman before, "you know you drink too much?". Dumbfounded I asked her why she said that and she told me that she often saw me walking past her house drinking for a bottle of wine in the mornings. That was me on the way back from my morning trip to the Hotel after it opened.
The insanity is just astounding when I look back. And yet when I was there it all seemed so unobvious and subtle. So skilfully hidden and managed.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
What a riveting post. If hindsight really is twenty-twenty, the years (and years and years) "Reverend 8pack" will be looking back on those months during her pregnancy when she drank, wishing with everything in her that she would have just stayed sober...that is just haunting. A few months of drinking and in return she had a child who never had a chance at a normal life, who she will care for for who knows how many years...possibly the rest of her life.
God, the running around I did, the purchasing of stupid things to try to cover up the fact that I was there for the wine (I'll have some tissues and some gum and a Snickers and, oh yeah, a box of Chardonnay), what a waste of time and money. Jeez, what a waste of my life.
I worked as a bartender, years before my drinking got out of hand. The bar I worked in was in a chain Italian restaurant (I won't say which one but it rhymes with "Solive Pardon"). The bar was around the corner from the rest of the restaurant. Once in awhile, a diner would stroll by the bar on the way to the restroom and stop for a quick cocktail before heading back to their table. Sometimes the cocktail would be substantial, like a triple vodka, neat. I was still so naive that I didn't put two and two together and say "alcoholic". I just thought that they must have a really miserable family if they needed that much alcohol to get through the rest of the meal.
I've been in the occasional liquor store since getting sober, to grab a bottle of water or a coke, and watched when an obvious alcoholic walked in. Often these folks are met with hearty greetings. And why not? These are sure-fire revenue boosters. What a racket.
God, the running around I did, the purchasing of stupid things to try to cover up the fact that I was there for the wine (I'll have some tissues and some gum and a Snickers and, oh yeah, a box of Chardonnay), what a waste of time and money. Jeez, what a waste of my life.
I worked as a bartender, years before my drinking got out of hand. The bar I worked in was in a chain Italian restaurant (I won't say which one but it rhymes with "Solive Pardon"). The bar was around the corner from the rest of the restaurant. Once in awhile, a diner would stroll by the bar on the way to the restroom and stop for a quick cocktail before heading back to their table. Sometimes the cocktail would be substantial, like a triple vodka, neat. I was still so naive that I didn't put two and two together and say "alcoholic". I just thought that they must have a really miserable family if they needed that much alcohol to get through the rest of the meal.
I've been in the occasional liquor store since getting sober, to grab a bottle of water or a coke, and watched when an obvious alcoholic walked in. Often these folks are met with hearty greetings. And why not? These are sure-fire revenue boosters. What a racket.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Yeah, been there, too. The walk of shame with a box of wine and a bit of food to make it look like I might be cooking something, not just getting wasted. The overflowing recycling bin that looked like couple month's worth but was in fact just a couple week's worth. I'm glad to have left those times behind.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 99
I used to know who was working on what shift and used to rotate between 3 bottle shops! Haven't been now for 2 weeks (was away one week at a wedding and now a whole 7 days sober). I'm sure they are wondering where I am!
I also used to have an alarm set for 10 mins before the bottle shop closed and always made sure if had enough for the rest of the night! Even if I was at a friends place (we all live close by each other). I was always well supplied with my wine!!!!
Loving the freedom of not worrying about how much wine I have left for the night (normally about this time of night it's nearly 8pm here in Oz).
I also used to have an alarm set for 10 mins before the bottle shop closed and always made sure if had enough for the rest of the night! Even if I was at a friends place (we all live close by each other). I was always well supplied with my wine!!!!
Loving the freedom of not worrying about how much wine I have left for the night (normally about this time of night it's nearly 8pm here in Oz).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by alphaomega
Thank you for this gift. Funny, I was so far gone I couldn't even care less who knew me or saw me buying. I was the girl who would get paranoid that people would see my recycling bin (always the environmentalist even while sauced to the moon).
Another known alkie in the neighborhood would often jar at me in regards to the bin. Isn't it curious how my drinking somehow made his addiction less horrible even though my bin was full of wine bottles and his bourbon bottles were hidden at the bottom of his garbage can ?
I wonder how he will feel when he sees the bin this week and all it has in it is Perrier and Pellegrino bottles. It sure would be nice if it motivated him to stop.
Another known alkie in the neighborhood would often jar at me in regards to the bin. Isn't it curious how my drinking somehow made his addiction less horrible even though my bin was full of wine bottles and his bourbon bottles were hidden at the bottom of his garbage can ?
I wonder how he will feel when he sees the bin this week and all it has in it is Perrier and Pellegrino bottles. It sure would be nice if it motivated him to stop.
This thread is so enlightening. Funny, here I thought I was being so clever. I have three liquor stores within 5 minutes of my house. Two that I would visit frequently as they were on the way home from work. I just moved here three months ago and the Mom & Pop shop was my store of choice because it was the least expensive at $8 even for a fifth. Yes, I knew how much it cost at each store. But no matter what time of day I went, it was always the same people. I'd try to make polite conversation and talk about events planned or having a get together when in reality, I'd have to be having a LOT of get togethers to be stopping in the liquor store every damn day. I'd cringe when I saw their faces because I knew they KNEW. Last straw was when I was waiting for them to open at 9 o'clock. Loser much? I went from buying a big bottle of wine a day to buying the 1.75 liters of vodka because I could go two days without visiting then. To buying the 5ths trying to drink less, still stopped every night. Last time I bought two of the little 2 for $3 bottles. I don't want to ever to back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
My liquor store owner was a real wise a.. he got a kick out of my alcoholism. He would would laugh when i came in and say 12 pack?. then as i was was leaving he would have a joke about me and laugh loudly with the clerk. Glad those days are over.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 95
Oh there was also the time I ran to the gas station up the road for a bottle of wine for the day. Wanted to pick it up for after the kids were in school and the cashier, who knew me well by now said, "I'm sorry. I can't sell any alcohol until after 7am" Mortifying. Knowing I'm not the only one who has been there, done that does help though. I'm not alone in this problem.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 20
I only rotated if I went more than once a day on a weekend. How funny (or pathetic) is it if you're more worried about what the clerk might think than your own family.
What all of you write about your experiences are so true to me. From getting out of the car to running into the liquor store to running back to the car. My heart was racing and I couldn't wait to get it over with. I would literally try and hide the bottle under my arm as I ran out of the store to my car hoping no one would see me. Hiding a bottle running out of a liquor store?? WTF did I think people would think I was buying in a liquor store!
The other thought that comes to mind is when I did buy a bottle at a local supermarket. Looking back, I'm sure if you're not an alcoholic and you grab a bottle of wine or vodka, you probably wouldn't think twice about having it and cashing out. Not us!
My quick story - I was at a local supermarket and was about to cash out with a bottle of cheap vodka, some other items to mask my sole purpose of being there. As I turned the corner to get in line at one of the registers, I ran into one of my daughter's basketball teammates mother. In an effort to not have to stand there and talk to her and have her see my bottle, I pretended to get a call. I said excuse me, turned my back and acted like I was having a conversation on my phone. In fact, I even stepped out of line and sort of walked away having a conversation with myself until she left.
What all of you write about your experiences are so true to me. From getting out of the car to running into the liquor store to running back to the car. My heart was racing and I couldn't wait to get it over with. I would literally try and hide the bottle under my arm as I ran out of the store to my car hoping no one would see me. Hiding a bottle running out of a liquor store?? WTF did I think people would think I was buying in a liquor store!
The other thought that comes to mind is when I did buy a bottle at a local supermarket. Looking back, I'm sure if you're not an alcoholic and you grab a bottle of wine or vodka, you probably wouldn't think twice about having it and cashing out. Not us!
My quick story - I was at a local supermarket and was about to cash out with a bottle of cheap vodka, some other items to mask my sole purpose of being there. As I turned the corner to get in line at one of the registers, I ran into one of my daughter's basketball teammates mother. In an effort to not have to stand there and talk to her and have her see my bottle, I pretended to get a call. I said excuse me, turned my back and acted like I was having a conversation on my phone. In fact, I even stepped out of line and sort of walked away having a conversation with myself until she left.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ireland
Posts: 22
Wow, I had no idea I wasn't the only person to do the "mini wine" thing!
Over 8 months it went from one to at my worst about six - so embarrassing after buying two to go back again and again
Thanks for briging this thread back. T'was meanignful for me.
Over 8 months it went from one to at my worst about six - so embarrassing after buying two to go back again and again
Thanks for briging this thread back. T'was meanignful for me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Margate, UK
Posts: 549
Originally Posted by Living
Great thread. I posted a while ago about my little Mom and Pop store that I visited often with only change I scraped together to buy my daily poison. It should have been embarrassing then watching Pop's count the change, but at the time I thought I was a loyal customer who they enjoyed seeing. Yeah - they liked the money, but pittied me.
Anyways, I recently ran in to Pops at the grocery store. I wanted to hide since it has been a few months since I have visited his store, but as fate would have it he saw me and came up and said hello. He asked me where I have been since he hadn't seen me lately and I was honest with him and told him I was no longer drinking and trying really hard to stay sober.
He smiled and gave me a hug and had a twinkle in his eyes. He said he was proud of me. He is an older man of Indian descent and does not drink the poison he sells.
Anyways, I recently ran in to Pops at the grocery store. I wanted to hide since it has been a few months since I have visited his store, but as fate would have it he saw me and came up and said hello. He asked me where I have been since he hadn't seen me lately and I was honest with him and told him I was no longer drinking and trying really hard to stay sober.
He smiled and gave me a hug and had a twinkle in his eyes. He said he was proud of me. He is an older man of Indian descent and does not drink the poison he sells.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17
I had no idea that store rotation/guilt was such a widespread and common thing. It's interesting to see how people are bar drunks or home drunks. I never drank at home, but I was also rarely home after 7 pm. I was also a bartender right up until a month ago (I'm 35) in Cleveland. The drinking culture there is ridiculous. I had the regulars and by last year, they were motivating me to find a way out of the life I was in. I got into the bar thing in college and then just moved around various places that had the same kind of scene. I once tried to do the math on my average nightly tab (by year, as they became larger) across all the years of drinking. It's a terrifying/dizzying/heartbreaking amount of money I flushed down the toilet. I could have a house in a nice city with the amount I spent in bars. Currently living back in my hometown with my parents. Talk about an ego-check...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
I went to the same store, everyday, sometimes 3-4 times in the same day. For 8 years. I'd always want the same cashier, because I knew that they knew. And especially when I was short on money or heck no money at all. I'd beg "just till Friday" and he'd always do it. I guess because he knew I'd be back for more and would have to pay!
Funny though, I haven't been to that store in 22 days. I'm 22 days sober. I won't even go there for my cigarettes. I wonder if they wonder where I am? It doesn't really matter. I just don't want to face that cashier or store EVER again. The only reason I ever went there was for beer.
Funny though, I haven't been to that store in 22 days. I'm 22 days sober. I won't even go there for my cigarettes. I wonder if they wonder where I am? It doesn't really matter. I just don't want to face that cashier or store EVER again. The only reason I ever went there was for beer.
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