mfanch

You can "manage" longer than I ever could. *I* could manage about 2 weeks. I needed a long-term solution and I needed it fast. I could not change the world to meet my problem. My alcoholism is mine and no one else's.

During the time when I was taking the 12 steps, we did not keep it in the house because I would cave and end up drinking. Now, we sometimes keep it in the house and I am not tempted, as my problem has been removed by taking the steps in AA. I am indifferent to alcohol as long as I work my program. I don't "lack restraint" anymore. I don't need restraint. It is a non-issue. There is a beautiful passage that sums it up for me:

"And we have ceased fighting anything and anyone--even alcohol. For by this time, sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptations. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality--safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."
AA, 1st ed pp84-85.

I would also say check your motives. Really check them. If you are white-knuckling, don't have it in the house. If you don't have a method of quitting that allows you to live life in the real world, maybe think about getting one. There are many.

Glad you are here.

nowme

Rereading my last post on this thread, perhaps I should have started a new one with a different topic.
I feel like I have connected to several people here on SR. I hope that I did not offend anyone in the last paragraph. To be clear, my AV tells me these lies to get me to stop posting here, I get weak and relapse. Part of the problem is my ego, like you said LadyinBC!
Thank you for reminding me. I have struggled most of my life trying to stay sober. Perhaps I need to be more accountable to someone. I do have friends here that I can talk to about that aspect of recovery as I find that AA is not for me.
Thank you LadyinBC, you have me thinking!!!

nowme

Mfanch, I posted the last post at the same time you were posting. I say this because I made the comment about AA before I read yours.
I have a hard time with AA for a couple reasons but I feel I do need the accountability that the members of AA have. Does that make sense? I do have it here somewhat and I guess I need to be more accountable on this forum.
I did join the 24 hour group but only post there once in awhile. I'm going to make a commitment to post there daily. I believe that will help with my accountabity issue.
Thank you Mfanch.

Dano1975

I think it depends on where you are in your sobriety, my brother/roommate is a social drinker and keeps beer in the fridge now and then. I'm never tempted though because I'm feeling really solid right now. If you think about it you probably drive past 10 liquor stores a day, should you wear blinders when you're out of the house? Yes, if you're shaky don't keep it that close. But eventually you'll need to adjust to a world filled with alcohol.

SSIL75

We keep alcohol here. For my husband and for guests. I am not tempted now but it was upsetting at the start (not necessarily tempting but too many bad memories). In the end I took the position that my alcoholism had dominated the house for long enough and telling my H that he couldn't drink at home would be further imposition. My husband also brews beer.

To be honest though I don't really feel that way anymore. I think it was kind of reckless.

nowme

Perhaps when I have a few years sober I will be able to do it. I am very very bad when it comes to drugs and alcohol. I am around alcohol at dinners and parties I can't avoid but you are right I can't live in a bubble.
Thank you!!

Anna

I never keep alcohol in the house and I never serve alcohol here. It's made life more simple for me. There are those dark moments, in the middle of the night, being unable to sleep - those are easier to get through knowing there is no alcohol anywhere.

FlyerFan

My boyfriend drinks, and I do not, so I ask him to hide his beer where I will not see it. I know it is in the house, but I have no desire to even look for it. However once in a while when I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed by life I will ask him kindly to remove it from our home and he very graciously does so (his brother lives down the street so he will usually just give it away since he does not drink often) lol.

I really don't feel like I could keep it openly in my home. My boyfriend is the kind of guy who will have one beer every few months and it drives me insane that he can do that and i cant. but i can laugh about it today because I am sober and have a great program.

happybeingme

This is all about your feelings on the subject. My husband offered to keep his drinking out of the house when I first quit but it was important to me that I learn how to be a nondrinker in a drinking world. My alcoholism is my problem and I didnt feel anyone should have to change because of my problem.
I havent had a problem with it and have always picked it up at the store too while out running errands.

nowme

The beer magically appeared in the fridge. I will ask him to move it if I start craving one. I don't like the kind he drinks so that is good. His homemade stuff will be a challenge not to try. It is not worth it. I know this. I have some tools that I know that work so I need not be lazy and just do them.
Thank you for sharing

deeker

This is my go to post just in case u forgot why you came here!

I didn't write it but it sure sets me straight when I get squirelly thoughts. I posted this on my bathroom mirror.

The Lies of our addiction

We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.
We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.
We drank to make our conversation easier and we slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.

Rennet

It depends on the person, only you can tell (and it sounds like the answer is no).

For my second week of recovery I've had six beers in the house (staying with family), and I was a beer binger. While it hasn't been much of an issue, I have had cravings and the beer in the house 'shortens the fuse' so to speak for me having a relapse. It does create a more dangerous environment for recovery.

deeker

Amen to your AA passages. Been removed by the grace of God and AA

sunshinescooby

Isn't it hard to believe how people like that exist?