Bobby83

Hey all

So I am about to hit thirty and realize that I have a problem, a drinking problem.
I have been a daily drinker for a few years now. 2 to 3 drinks, sometimes more. But I don't drink to get drunk, just at the end of my day.
Well it hasn't been an issue till about a couple of months ago. Started drinking mOre bourbon and whiskey (I am a beer guy normally, or wine)
And then I had a bad day at work, emotionally bad, told I wasn't performing at my best, and I like to, and pride myself of doing my job well.....well it hit me hard. It was the day after I had a little more than usual to drink. It was also not related at all to drinking. My mind had just been elsewhere. So I didn't drink that night....didn't feel like it, or the next day.....then the anxiety, sweats and paws hit me hard.
I was up at night, soaking the sheets, anxious and running through my head. Then I stumbled here....and another bright health posts. Read all about alcoholism and paws. And seen everything I was reading in my bodies reaction.
I stopped drinking for 2 months, stopped smoking too (I was already barely smoking 1 or 2 a day) and slowly felt a LOT better.

Until three days ago.
It was a friends thirtieth birthday, Actually i started drinking again about a month and a half prior, 2 beers one night 2 days off then again. Then I drank some harder stuff with some friends and the next day I was a half wreck. Stopped until his party which was a week later. I drank about 7 or eight beers (I think ) and smoked like a chimney. The next day I was hung over like h$&l and sick to my stomach, thought the anxiety would kick in, but not really....till the next day. And it hit hard and fast, I was a wreck all day. I was a wreck the next day, I'm still sort of coming down from it.

During the first shot of this I had these forums ad those other posts open on my phone and at home all the time, something about reading other people's battles and experiences really helped. Knowing I wasn't going out of my mind was great. Reading and understanding what was hPpening was empowering.

So here I am. Registered. Posting my first post. 2 days without a drink or a real desire for one. Trying to figure out how to have a thirtieth birthday with excuses in my back pocket as to why I am not drinking and excited. Excited about a future with my family where I am healthy of body and mind to take care of them and myself.

Thanks for your time in reading this everyone.

Hevyn

Welcome Bobby! It's so good you found us - I know it'll really help you to be here as you begin your sober journey.

I think you have a great attitude, and that'll help. I felt the same way about SR when I first joined - who knew there were so many others just like me? I was a bit sorry for myself at first, but that quickly faded as I began to enjoy my new life so much. It was great to be free of it.

Mountainmanbob

Danae

Welcome Bobby. So glad you decided to post today. I started out on SR 2 1/2 years ago. I was worried about my health, I'd tried to moderate, then quit a few times, and had gone back to it. SR was such a support for me as were the non-judgmental people here, and I haven't had a drink since. Hope you find it a place that helps you too.

Bobby83

Thanks guys, even just typing that out helped squash a CHUNK of anxiety from my system. Looking forward to winning the good fight and seek if I can help anyone else along the way

least

You do have a good attitude about it. I believe you'll like sobriety. It's nice to remember everything and not hurt yourself or others.

My kids trust me again and my life is going pretty well. And none of this would happen if I were drinking.

Soberpotamus

Welcome to SR! Glad you are here

wiscsober

Bobby83 most importantly for me to read was this post of yours...and see(k) if I can help anyone else along the way.

Just before I read your posts I told someone that.

Not only are we alike and can relate to each other in our drunkeness...we can relate and help each other in recovery.

For me the key to sobriety is trying to help another alcoholic attain sobriety.

Your posts and everyone who posts @SR help me in some way with my recovery.

Best to you!

Bobby83

Thanks again!

What a great "house" of support it is here.
Again I made it six to eight weeks last time and it was feeling great.
So this round I'll just try my hardest to keep with it.

Its a funny thing this "issue" we deal with, I read it here a lot.
You don't want to admit out is an issue, even when the writing and results are on the wall.
I, like many other posts I read here, think " well I don't want to quit for good, just till this all passes and I can drink RIGHT"

But I honestly know that it seems less and less likely that its possible to become THAT drinker. Its not in my DNA or my nature.

Oddly enough I started drinking late. Like 21. Because I seen my father battle these demons. When people would ask why I didn't drink I would joke that "Irish, native and French Canadian blood don't mix with alcohol so well!"

Sh%& it seems like I might have been smarter in my youth. Once I started it was easy to make is soooo casual and an everyday thing.

Glad I have support. Thanks again. I don't think you all know how much I really mean that

Acheleus

Welcome to SR and I hope you have a good journey in sobriety!

bexxed

"it's my 30th birthday"
"it's my best friend's wedding"
"it's Mardi Gras!"
"Oh, come on! It's a cruise!"
"It's Saturday"
"It's SO hot out"
"I just had the worst day of my life"
"It's my father's wake"
"I've been sober for THREE MONTHS! Celebrate!"
"It's a baseball game"
"It's 5:00 somewhere"
"It's noon somewhere"
"It's my 31st birthday"
"It's morning"
"It's night"
"It's the Super Bowl"
"It's graduation"
"It's my wedding"
"I got divorced today"

Hi. Nice to meet you here. What do you want to do for your birthday? I'm ScotchIrish/native/Canadian too. My 30th birthday was horrible- my boyfriend at the time and I got in a horrible fight on the way home after a trip to a bar and he took off for the rest of the night. We were fighting over whether or not I was having fun at the bar. I drank half a bottle of wine when I got home and cried myself to sleep. I went back to him over and over, along with the booze...

Since I stopped this madness, which is only 3 weeks, it dawned on me that the times I've REALLY had fun, I wasn't drinking. Your birthday is is summer (assuming you're in the Northern Hemisphere). Enjoy the outdoors!