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dont know what to say

Old 06-10-2013, 06:16 PM
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dont know what to say

Hi, I've known i've had an issue for a long time. I keep fooling myself that i have it under control, but know that i don't. I am a single mom of 2 girls. Between working full time, dealing with teenage BS plus depression and anxiety, and my other is ADHD- and her father refuses to believe it. I rely on my addiction to get me through. I know my problems make theirs worse. But my problem is that i have NO support. I have my own issues, but hard to gain support with the issues i have with my kids. I need to get rid of the alcohol, so afraid, my town is small, been to the meetings, the girls are clicky, I have a hard time with anyone let alone clicky individuals! They talk about how they talk about their sponsee's because they need to. This is why i've always gotten along better with men, but i'm not supposed too....
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Old 06-10-2013, 06:21 PM
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Welcome Wilde! You have come to a great place and will find lots if support here. Funny...I have always gotten along with men better too. In my early drinking days when the girls went to the bathroom together, I would sit and hAng with the guys...never did get the whke bathroom ritual:-)

There is a great moms thread too here!
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Old 06-10-2013, 06:33 PM
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Hang in there!
You know what you need to do. It's too bad you find the women in the group clicky.
I hope we can help, if you have any questions, I will answer you openly and honestly.
I wish you all the best!
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Old 06-10-2013, 06:38 PM
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I ve been in and out of aa for the past year ... I've put time together and went out ... I'm back to day 48 ... I'm a single mother it was rough being that I'm married to an active alcoholic ... But I'm doing it ... Just go and try it ... I don't have any support except for my friends in the rooms ... I've had arguments with women too there catty ... But I'm above all the cliquish stuff ... I came and I'm doing what I have to do for me and my daughter ... I've brought my daughter to meetings ... It's not the best idea but it sure beats her seeing me drunk .... Do what you have to for you and sometimes it's hard but what you gain is really a chance at living instead of existing ... You can do anything as long as you re willing .... Everybody has a story ... There will always be guilt and shame ... But don't take it change it ... It's amazing .... Hugs
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Old 06-10-2013, 06:51 PM
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welcome to SR Wilde

D
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Old 06-10-2013, 07:03 PM
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Welcome aboard the SR Lifeboat. Grab an oar . There are a lot of people here with solid advice.
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Old 06-10-2013, 07:37 PM
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There's no need for anguish and internal debate between continuing to drink and going to AA. Many people get and stay sober without AA. I think some people focus on what they don't like about AA to help justify continuing to drink. Learn about a variety of recovery methods - the one that works for you is the best one. You can do it!
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Old 06-11-2013, 05:28 PM
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Thank you everyone for you replies.
Zeroptzero- too funny as i am very accomplished at anguish and internal debate! But i get that it is not helpful. I appreciate the redirection.
Trikyriky- i'd love an oar, thank you
Dee- Thanks for the welcome
BlueTiger- Congrats on your time! I admire what you have accomplished, you are right in that we have to be somewhat selfish in this. We have to make sure we get what we need. And then give everything we can.
DAB- Thank you for your support, truely appreciate it!
Dolly- Have seen your posts on the moms thread. Have thought about contributing there, just haven't yet. I thought that was an amazing idea for a thread! I follow it, but will likely join soon. Thanks for your support!

Went to both psych and counselor today, was not a good day for me. But at least i have them for support and am planning to use SR for support more regularly and just just take one day at a time. Night all
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Old 06-11-2013, 05:32 PM
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It's hard enough to be a mom, especially with teens, but having your own addiction problems makes it all worse. I'm glad you're here seeking support. You'll find lots of it here.
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Old 06-11-2013, 05:35 PM
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Welcome to SR! This is a great place for support. There is a ton of advice, and encouragement with all forms of recovery. I understand the deal with parenting being that i am a step-parent, which I think may be harder for us in some ways. You can only do what you can do. Nothing about any of this is easy. You say that you are dealing with teenagers? I know that they are handfuls with all the hormones running rampant. I commend you. I am not looking forward to my moody little guy when he hits the teen years. Yikes! I am praying for you.
There is no clique business happening here. I have found this forum to be a life line for me and my sobriety. Keep posting.
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Old 06-11-2013, 05:36 PM
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Welcome to sr. I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed and using. Using feels good for awhile but then it makes everything worse.
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Old 06-11-2013, 05:43 PM
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Welcome to SR!

Parenting teens is a difficult time so I'm glad you are looking for support for yourself to get through this.
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Old 06-11-2013, 06:00 PM
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Thanks again all. Yeah, i have an almost 14 yo girl whose father is not involved. Who i spoiled due to guilt of divorce and due to my drinking and now am paying the price....no proper discipline....But i guess i have to keep my sights on getting myself better in order to help her. She is in counseling too. But barely talks to me...uggghhhh.
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Old 06-11-2013, 10:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Wilde8673 View Post
Hi, I've known i've had an issue for a long time. I keep fooling myself that i have it under control, but know that i don't. I am a single mom of 2 girls. Between working full time, dealing with teenage BS plus depression and anxiety, and my other is ADHD- and her father refuses to believe it. I rely on my addiction to get me through. I know my problems make theirs worse. But my problem is that i have NO support. I have my own issues, but hard to gain support with the issues i have with my kids. I need to get rid of the alcohol, so afraid, my town is small, been to the meetings, the girls are clicky, I have a hard time with anyone let alone clicky individuals! They talk about how they talk about their sponsee's because they need to. This is why i've always gotten along better with men, but i'm not supposed too....
This is a GREAT place to start. I hope you know that alcohol worsens all the symptoms of anxiety and depression to unbelievable levels. You will be shocked at how much better you feel, and how much the symptoms you feel now lessen when you remove the booze.
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Old 06-11-2013, 10:16 PM
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Welcome Wilde. I've only been a member for a few days and today WILL be my 6th day sober. SR has given me so much insight - if I'm tempted I log back in and read a thread and someone's advice & encouragement always speaks to me - it's like a series of mini light bulbs going on.

Keep strong.
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