Carlygirl

I have looked at this site many many times over the past few months. During this time I have resolved time and again to quit and fail almost immediately. I have read alot about different approaches to quitting and several methods have made a lot of sense to me or appealed to me, but I fall at the first hurdle. Called AA but haven't been to a meeting, I don't think it's for me. Have been talking about changing my drinking for twenty years now. I drink every night and can only manage a night off if I go straight to bed after I put my son to bed. I was so ill yesterday with a hangover I vowed not to drink again that day, but then had so much, that today I wasn't fit to drive to work and had to take the bus. Sick sick sick of doing this to myself.

Nonsensical

Welcome Carly girl.

Addiction is exasperating, but can be defeated. There are members here successfully beating their addictions using many different methods. You can read the forums here and learn about them to see if there is one you think will work for you.

Best of Luck!

ChrissieB

Hi Carlygirl..... You never need to feel like that again... Just stop for 24 hours... There is a thread here where you commit to 24 hours, it is helping me, there is nothing in my life that drink improves, nothing. So grateful to be sober and for the support of SR x

CharlieNoogan

I didn't think AA was for me at first either. In fact, I was staunchly against everything I thought it stood for. Then I went to a meeting anyway and realized the face-to-face support from others who went through the same things as me was the missing piece of the puzzle. Before I found that piece, your story of repeated failure was my story.

Welcome to SR! Read, post, stick around. You will find a lot of support here.

OneLessLonely

Welcome to SR! Reading here was super helpful in the beginning of my sobriety, but posting really boosted the foundation. I hope it's the same for you. I would definitely recommend posting in the 24 hour thread to keep yourself accountable each day, and also the Class of June 2013 thread. Posting and messaging with people who are the same stage as you, and doing it together is really inspiring. It is really hard in the beginning, but if you stick it out, life gets way better and way less exhausting.

joygirl

Hey Carlygirl!

Exhausting is the word to describe addiction! This a great place for respite from the drink. Stick around!

Dee74

Welcome Carly

D

Hevyn

Welcome to SR Carlygirl! It really helped me to be here with people who understood what I was going through. I had no one in my life to discuss it with - they were all social drinkers. I hope you'll find the support you're looking for. Glad you've decided to take action.

Mountainmanbob

Spinach

Start soon and just count the days. See your GP they can really help and support. They can assess and may want to give you something to take the edge off, but more they can make sure you get extra support.
This place really worked for me.
Life once the first phase is over becomes such an amazing place to be.
I still have moments when I think I should love to ............... Then I can now bring back memories that make me cringe , sometimes I look at my bank statement !
How old your son?
It'll be great for both of you too.
Love John

least

Alcoholism can be beaten. But you've got to be willing to do whatever it takes to beat it. Why not give AA a good try to actually see if it might be for you.

You've come to a very supportive place. I'm glad you found us.

Carlygirl

Hi John. thanks. I can't bear the thought of discussing it with my GP. Just keep thinking I will fix it myself before anyone 'official' needs to know. My son is 4 and I know it won't be long before he is aware of what's going on.

Midlifecrisis

Good luck and good ok you for posting.


I know for me I could not bear to discuss my addictions with a gp or anyone but now that I have I don't care at all. I know I could never ever fix it myself.

Rennet

You mention failing at the first hurdle. As someone getting longer and longer periods of sobriety, I can say it gets ridiculously easier quicker than you might imagine. I mean after 5 days the physical cravings are almost gone, it becomes a psychological game after that (and I'm beginning to think nightly bingers may have it easier when it comes to this because we were using alcohol mostly just as a sleep aid).

All these years, had I known how much easier it got after 5 days of pain.. it was always so much scarier to quit because the only sobriety I had known was the first few days dealing with acute withdrawal. But that is a distorted view of what sobriety looks like

Grungehead

Carly,

If you have tried to fix it yourself and it hasn't worked, at some point you have to let others help you. I know that it is difficult to admit to a drinking problem, but it is actually the first step to getting better. I was very afraid to bring it up with my doctor but he was very understanding. I was afraid to go to an AA meeting full of strangers and admit it but they were very understanding. Afterall they all had drinking problems just like me. I was afraid at first, but I felt relief once I admitted I had a problem.

Nuudawn

I think the desire to "fix it yourself" is somewhat foolhearty..isn't that what you've been trying to do? Yes, you are responsible for your sobriety..but how will you get there alone? I'm not saying you can't but you need a plan of attack..as this addiction beast is a formidable foe. SR is a fantastic start. I tried AA in a previous sobriety bout and it was wonderful for awhile..but not a route I want to take now. Not ruling it or anything out..should I get myself in a bit of a state. Community and support is imperative. For me a spiritual component has been crucial. My recovery started prior to giving up booze with the help of a counsellor and a co-dependency group (relationship addiction brought me to those). I recently realized that I will make no progress in life, recovery, emotional maturity, professional and personal growth, etc etc etc etc if I don't stop drinking.

You will find a ton of information and resources here...please stick around.

Spinach

Carlygirl, I don't think it ever fixes itself, you can do it by yourself but so much easier with support, your GP would be pleased your confiding and more than happy to address the situation early rather than if your showing troublesome physical signs.
I wish I had asked for help decades earlier ! I have three children and with each I prayed I'd get this thing under control I didn't and they now know me not drinking and life which was mainly good has become easier for all and I regret not asking for help. It was all my pride and in the end it was so easy asking for help and they couldn't have done more , they also kept me from falling off when The journey got bumpy.
It's not easy but far from impossible and I would say just thinking ,will power alone will work is only going to make it harder. Keep on here and think about health workers and other groups , here has been fantastic for me.
As Dee might say what's the plan what more can you do to make things work.
Love John.

Sasha4

When you wake the next morning after nights when you have put your son to bed and not had a drink, how do you feel?

Do you feel proud of yourself?
Do you wake up with a big smile on your face and think 'yes I did. I did not drink last night'?

Can you capture how you feel?

I used to do the same.
I would put my child to bed, go to bed, then wake the next morning, almost wanting to bounce up and down on the bed I was so happy and proud I did not drink!

For me, it was carrying on this behaviour.
Maybe damage limitation?
I would go to bed after my daughter went to bed, no drink. Then the next morning I would think 'wow day 2 without a drink'. Then the next was day 3. Next day 4. Before I knew it I had a week. Then 2 weeks. Then a month.
And I got prouder and prouder of myself.

I also found the more days I drank, the less I wanted to drink and ruin it and have to go back to day 1.

I also remember doing a month, then having a drink.
I hated it so much that the next morning, I woke up and thought 'no more. I am going to do this for a year'.

And I did!!!!!!!!

It was hard at first.
Lots of early nights.
Getting out of my regular routine of sitting for hours drinking in front of the telly with my favourite glass.

Eventually I did not go to bed every evening, to escape the temptation to drink.
I was happy doing other things in the evening and not drinking.
I did exercise, went for drives, went shopping, tidied, got rid of loads of junk for car boots, had long baths, did my nails.

It was fine! I was okay. I got through it.
Now I can hand on heart say, it would be not normal, it would feel wrong for me to sit for hours on an evening drinking alcohol.

I never thought I would get to that point.
I thought I was destined to wake up forever every morning hating myself, feeling like death and wanting to die.

I also thought AA was not for me.
I love AA.
I cannot go often as I work and have my child, but I have met some of the coolest, most wise people ever at AA.
They understand and will help you in anyway they can so that you can avoid hitting the rock bottoms they have.
Even if you go to listen, do it and learn all you can.

I would also say, don't think too far ahead.
I know its a cliche, but think every morning when you wake up 'today I won't drink'.
I uses to say if whatever was bothering me so much was still there tomorrow, I could have a drink then, just not today.

For me, the biggest cynic ever, it worked and here I am 480 days later.

Keep coming here.
Read, learn all you can. Post away.

If you want it, I really believe you can have it!

My best to you
xxxx

Carlygirl

Sasha. Thank you so much for this reply. It's great to hear about a situation very similar to mine with such a positive outcome. Keep it up!

I will do as you and others suggest and keep posting. I will try the 24 hour thread.