I can't ask for help because of where I live.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: The world
Posts: 10
I can't ask for help because of where I live.
For more than 10 years I have been living in an Islamic country. This country is not dry, alcohol is avalable here, but you need an alcohol lisense.
For the last few years I drink on average a bottle of wine per day,start 4 o'clock but stop after I had my dinner. I suffer panic attacks, take antidepressants and meds for high blood pressure.
As always with me, some thing has to happen for a wake up call.
25 years ago, I had one, so I quit the hard drugs. On the famous september11, had an other one so quit the pot for good.
8 days ago, had an other wake up call, and have been sober since.
But oh my the cravings are horrible!
Because this country is Islamic and a police state, I will not and cannot get help.
Every day I have to watch what I do, what I say and what I wear.
You end up in jail here, if they catch you giving a kiss to someone.
Because we have been living here for soooo long without family, they are not aware of my problems. I would like to keep it like that.
Most people here are full of themselves and honestly don't care about you.
My problem right now, is that the panic attacks have intensified because of all the stress. Next Friday, I will be on a 14 hour flight to North America, where we are from. Iam so stressed, that I get nothing done!!
Because of my husbands job,I will fly first class. Great!! But will I be able to say no to the Champagne??
Hopefully I will be strong enough!!
I feel right now, like I am on a roller coaster. But how long will the ride be?
Drank like 3 liters of water yesterday, nothing lessens the thirst. Can't eat, card board mouth.
Have to stop right now, this is my first post. Feel so lonely!
For the last few years I drink on average a bottle of wine per day,start 4 o'clock but stop after I had my dinner. I suffer panic attacks, take antidepressants and meds for high blood pressure.
As always with me, some thing has to happen for a wake up call.
25 years ago, I had one, so I quit the hard drugs. On the famous september11, had an other one so quit the pot for good.
8 days ago, had an other wake up call, and have been sober since.
But oh my the cravings are horrible!
Because this country is Islamic and a police state, I will not and cannot get help.
Every day I have to watch what I do, what I say and what I wear.
You end up in jail here, if they catch you giving a kiss to someone.
Because we have been living here for soooo long without family, they are not aware of my problems. I would like to keep it like that.
Most people here are full of themselves and honestly don't care about you.
My problem right now, is that the panic attacks have intensified because of all the stress. Next Friday, I will be on a 14 hour flight to North America, where we are from. Iam so stressed, that I get nothing done!!
Because of my husbands job,I will fly first class. Great!! But will I be able to say no to the Champagne??
Hopefully I will be strong enough!!
I feel right now, like I am on a roller coaster. But how long will the ride be?
Drank like 3 liters of water yesterday, nothing lessens the thirst. Can't eat, card board mouth.
Have to stop right now, this is my first post. Feel so lonely!
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
My father got sober in Saudi Arabia (sober for 32 years now). It CAN be done. He was willing, though. You have stated you are not, so good luck to you. I'm surprised that your police state allows such freedom of internet that you can post. I'm sure it is monitored.
I know for me, when I was open-minded, honest, and willing, I was able to get help. I hope you can, too.
I know for me, when I was open-minded, honest, and willing, I was able to get help. I hope you can, too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: The world
Posts: 10
Well haven't had any in 8 days, so the will is there! I said I my post I had the wake up call, and took action.
It is just that I can't find any support over here, there is no one I can trust or talk to.
I am hoping to get support from this forum
It is just that I can't find any support over here, there is no one I can trust or talk to.
I am hoping to get support from this forum
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by Basta 
For more than 10 years I have been living in an Islamic country. This country is not dry, alcohol is avalable here, but you need an alcohol lisense.
For the last few years I drink on average a bottle of wine per day,start 4 o'clock but stop after I had my dinner. I suffer panic attacks, take antidepressants and meds for high blood pressure.
As always with me, some thing has to happen for a wake up call.
25 years ago, I had one, so I quit the hard drugs. On the famous september11, had an other one so quit the pot for good.
8 days ago, had an other wake up call, and have been sober since.
But oh my the cravings are horrible!
Because this country is Islamic and a police state, I will not and cannot get help.
Every day I have to watch what I do, what I say and what I wear.
You end up in jail here, if they catch you giving a kiss to someone.
Because we have been living here for soooo long without family, they are not aware of my problems. I would like to keep it like that.
Most people here are full of themselves and honestly don't care about you.
My problem right now, is that the panic attacks have intensified because of all the stress. Next Friday, I will be on a 14 hour flight to North America, where we are from. Iam so stressed, that I get nothing done!!
Because of my husbands job,I will fly first class. Great!! But will I be able to say no to the Champagne??
Hopefully I will be strong enough!!
I feel right now, like I am on a roller coaster. But how long will the ride be?
Drank like 3 liters of water yesterday, nothing lessens the thirst. Can't eat, card board mouth.
Have to stop right now, this is my first post. Feel so lonely!
For the last few years I drink on average a bottle of wine per day,start 4 o'clock but stop after I had my dinner. I suffer panic attacks, take antidepressants and meds for high blood pressure.
As always with me, some thing has to happen for a wake up call.
25 years ago, I had one, so I quit the hard drugs. On the famous september11, had an other one so quit the pot for good.
8 days ago, had an other wake up call, and have been sober since.
But oh my the cravings are horrible!
Because this country is Islamic and a police state, I will not and cannot get help.
Every day I have to watch what I do, what I say and what I wear.
You end up in jail here, if they catch you giving a kiss to someone.
Because we have been living here for soooo long without family, they are not aware of my problems. I would like to keep it like that.
Most people here are full of themselves and honestly don't care about you.
My problem right now, is that the panic attacks have intensified because of all the stress. Next Friday, I will be on a 14 hour flight to North America, where we are from. Iam so stressed, that I get nothing done!!
Because of my husbands job,I will fly first class. Great!! But will I be able to say no to the Champagne??
Hopefully I will be strong enough!!
I feel right now, like I am on a roller coaster. But how long will the ride be?
Drank like 3 liters of water yesterday, nothing lessens the thirst. Can't eat, card board mouth.
Have to stop right now, this is my first post. Feel so lonely!
You may not realize this, but all the panic attacks and anxiety are caused by the alcohol and the daily withdrawal you have. The more you continue to drink, the worse they will get. You will never be free of the anxiety or panic attacks as long as you continue to consume alcohol. Every bad feeling you have is from the wine you drink. I promise, that is what it is.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: London
Posts: 369
As Nighthawk has mentioned, the panic attacks and anxiety will ease, if not disappear completely, once you've knocked the drinking on the head. I used to convince myself that I drank more because I was shy, anxious and had mild panic episodes but I think I knew deep down these we're all symptoms of alcohol withdrawal. The problem is, a bottle of wine may not seem like a major problem and so any complications that you have from it, you will probably just dismiss as being caused by something else, but that amount of al ohol per day is enough to cause a mild form of withdrawal which in some individuals can manifest as panic attacks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: The world
Posts: 10
I will open the door some more.
My father is not an alcoholic, but is so severely depressed, that he needs 2 anti depressants, lithium and bezos just to get out of bed. His life is still a living hell, he is thinking about electro convulsive therapy.
I was diagnosed with PTSD after witnessing a terrible event, I am a very sensitive and empathic person.
Suffered from nightmares and insomnia for years. Months with 3 hours sleep.
Now that I am writing this, I just realized that I never used alcohol to make me sleep.
Because of insomnia, lack of trust in the doctors over here, not being able to get the meds, the drink helped me cope better with my daily life.
Yeah, ironing cloths with a glass of wine!
I never was and never will be a DIE HARD alcoholic, that I know. That is why I quit. Let the healing begin.
On a final note, I would like to mention, that after I found this forum, my panic attacks became worse.
As an empath, is was disheartening to read all your stories and problems and the amount of people struggling with alcohol is just staggering.
I am probably to hard on myself aswell. I don't want to end up like you!
Thanks for listening.
My father is not an alcoholic, but is so severely depressed, that he needs 2 anti depressants, lithium and bezos just to get out of bed. His life is still a living hell, he is thinking about electro convulsive therapy.
I was diagnosed with PTSD after witnessing a terrible event, I am a very sensitive and empathic person.
Suffered from nightmares and insomnia for years. Months with 3 hours sleep.
Now that I am writing this, I just realized that I never used alcohol to make me sleep.
Because of insomnia, lack of trust in the doctors over here, not being able to get the meds, the drink helped me cope better with my daily life.
Yeah, ironing cloths with a glass of wine!
I never was and never will be a DIE HARD alcoholic, that I know. That is why I quit. Let the healing begin.
On a final note, I would like to mention, that after I found this forum, my panic attacks became worse.
As an empath, is was disheartening to read all your stories and problems and the amount of people struggling with alcohol is just staggering.
I am probably to hard on myself aswell. I don't want to end up like you!
Thanks for listening.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Basta, welcome! A lot of people quit without face to face support. I did, and from what I've read so do the majority of folks. This website is an amazing place. I really recommend joining the "class of June" thread. I read and post in my thread from February almost every day and the people there help me stay accountable to myself.
I also started doing yoga 5 days a week. It's a time for me to be meditative and mindful of my body and mind. I really recommend building something like that into your day... Time to focus only on you and your well being.
Congratulations on taking the first step!! You're well on your way! And just as another incentive... I never thought drinking caused my anxiety, since I was anxious prior to starting drinking... But still somehow about a month after I quit my anxiety had dwindled down to nearly nothing.
I also started doing yoga 5 days a week. It's a time for me to be meditative and mindful of my body and mind. I really recommend building something like that into your day... Time to focus only on you and your well being.
Congratulations on taking the first step!! You're well on your way! And just as another incentive... I never thought drinking caused my anxiety, since I was anxious prior to starting drinking... But still somehow about a month after I quit my anxiety had dwindled down to nearly nothing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: The world
Posts: 10
Thanks fan, I will join the June club. Good to know you also had anxiety before you started the alcohol and that after one month it had subsided.
Phew! There is hope! Have been of the hard drugs for more than 25 years, so can do this.
I meditate through my music, I play classical guitar.
Phew! There is hope! Have been of the hard drugs for more than 25 years, so can do this.
I meditate through my music, I play classical guitar.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I know what it is like to have anxiety and PTSD, and I am sorry that you are going through this. Staying away from alcohol will help with these two conditions. You may not be 100% cured but any relief is wonderful. Many people become sober with the help of this forum. I did. Welcome and please be safe.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: The world
Posts: 10
There is one person who hopefully can help me when I go back home for the summer.
She was in a far worse shape than me, she quit the booze more than a year ago.
However I don't know if she relapsed,I will find out this weekend.
Yeh I am getting excited now, leaving this sandpit, will be good.
She was in a far worse shape than me, she quit the booze more than a year ago.
However I don't know if she relapsed,I will find out this weekend.
Yeh I am getting excited now, leaving this sandpit, will be good.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
Basta -
While you say you aren't a hard core drunk and never will be. I would say never say never because, honestly with drinking it only gets worse. It sounds like to me you were crying out for help and now you are kinda backing away from it. Best of luck to you! It is hard getting sober rather you are coming from a place of total loss, or are a problem binge drinker... each place and person have their own story and struggles. That is the common thread that binds us all.
Saliena
While you say you aren't a hard core drunk and never will be. I would say never say never because, honestly with drinking it only gets worse. It sounds like to me you were crying out for help and now you are kinda backing away from it. Best of luck to you! It is hard getting sober rather you are coming from a place of total loss, or are a problem binge drinker... each place and person have their own story and struggles. That is the common thread that binds us all.
Saliena
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: The world
Posts: 10
When I quit the hard drugs and managed to buildt a new life, I went back to college. I got a degree as an anesthesia technician.
I was surrounded with hospital drugs, never took anything, never sold anything, it wasn't even crossing my mind. I was so proud of myself and loved my live.
In the OR and ER, we treated many addicts, drug and alcohol.
I have seen too much in my life.
Maybe it sounds cocky, but the wake up call was there 8 days ago. I had a black out for the first time, woke up with bruises because I had fallen down the stairs, during the fall I ripped my toenail of. Very painfull.
Also just talked to my mom, my dad is severely depressed and she told me he is going for the electo shock therapy.
That is why I have to do this, I want to be there for him.
My parents suffered a lot during my drug years, my guilt feelings are sky high.
For me just to write this down, is already calming my mind.
I was surrounded with hospital drugs, never took anything, never sold anything, it wasn't even crossing my mind. I was so proud of myself and loved my live.
In the OR and ER, we treated many addicts, drug and alcohol.
I have seen too much in my life.
Maybe it sounds cocky, but the wake up call was there 8 days ago. I had a black out for the first time, woke up with bruises because I had fallen down the stairs, during the fall I ripped my toenail of. Very painfull.
Also just talked to my mom, my dad is severely depressed and she told me he is going for the electo shock therapy.
That is why I have to do this, I want to be there for him.
My parents suffered a lot during my drug years, my guilt feelings are sky high.
For me just to write this down, is already calming my mind.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Let's be honest...
[B]Yeah, ironing cloths with a glass of wine!
I never was and never will be a DIE HARD alcoholic, that I know. That is why I quit. Let the healing begin.[/B]
I had a black out for the first time, woke up with bruises because I had fallen down the stairs, during the fall I ripped my toenail of.
and the other phrase you typed...about your friend..
She was in a far worse shape than me, she quit the booze more than a year ago.
the way this could be interpreted is that you think you are not so bad after reading some postings? Were you in the OR the day after you blacked out? I realize that you are an Anesthesia technician (not an Anesthesiologist), but you still have responsible duties to perform on patients during surgeries and maybe cardiac procedures. I wouldn't want someone who drinks as you do every night working in the OR every morning...I only know US hospitals, but i'm sure there are rules and standards where you are also.
I'm glad that you have decided to stop drinking and hope you can cope to help your parents. welcome to SR, there is a lot of help and support here.
[B]Yeah, ironing cloths with a glass of wine!
I never was and never will be a DIE HARD alcoholic, that I know. That is why I quit. Let the healing begin.[/B]
I had a black out for the first time, woke up with bruises because I had fallen down the stairs, during the fall I ripped my toenail of.
and the other phrase you typed...about your friend..
She was in a far worse shape than me, she quit the booze more than a year ago.
the way this could be interpreted is that you think you are not so bad after reading some postings? Were you in the OR the day after you blacked out? I realize that you are an Anesthesia technician (not an Anesthesiologist), but you still have responsible duties to perform on patients during surgeries and maybe cardiac procedures. I wouldn't want someone who drinks as you do every night working in the OR every morning...I only know US hospitals, but i'm sure there are rules and standards where you are also.
I'm glad that you have decided to stop drinking and hope you can cope to help your parents. welcome to SR, there is a lot of help and support here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: The world
Posts: 10
You know what Fandy, you know nothing about me and forums are usualy not the right place to tell your whole story all at once.
But now that you bring it up, after 3years of working in the OR, I met a met wonderfull guy, who was an airforce pilot. We got married, lived in Germany for an other year, then was posted back to Canada.
I couldn't work over there, so became housewife and mother.
That you are assuming that I am still working in the OR is complety wrong.
People are constantly assuming things, nowadays nobody listens.
That is why so many people become addicted.
But now that you bring it up, after 3years of working in the OR, I met a met wonderfull guy, who was an airforce pilot. We got married, lived in Germany for an other year, then was posted back to Canada.
I couldn't work over there, so became housewife and mother.
That you are assuming that I am still working in the OR is complety wrong.
People are constantly assuming things, nowadays nobody listens.
That is why so many people become addicted.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
other people's listening skills are NOT why people get addicted....
you just keep making progress. when you come to the states can you get to meetings? might be good to get some face to face support while you can! sorry to hear your dad isn't doing well right now. you have a lot on your plate right now.
you just keep making progress. when you come to the states can you get to meetings? might be good to get some face to face support while you can! sorry to hear your dad isn't doing well right now. you have a lot on your plate right now.
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
I also "used" to be in the OR (crna).
"People are constantly assuming things, nowadays nobody listens.
That is why so many people become addicted."
If people listened there would be no addicts?? LOLOLOL
You sound, by your tone and words, to be angry and bitter. I was that way as well. This community can help, IF you LET it. You are not alone and you are not the only person in your country, town, province, whatever with an addiction of some sort. None of us is terminally unique. Help is here. I found that most people DO care and WANT to help me. It was my perception of people that was inaccurate. SR is a good place to start.
Again, welcome.
"People are constantly assuming things, nowadays nobody listens.
That is why so many people become addicted."
If people listened there would be no addicts?? LOLOLOL
You sound, by your tone and words, to be angry and bitter. I was that way as well. This community can help, IF you LET it. You are not alone and you are not the only person in your country, town, province, whatever with an addiction of some sort. None of us is terminally unique. Help is here. I found that most people DO care and WANT to help me. It was my perception of people that was inaccurate. SR is a good place to start.
Again, welcome.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Basta
this is a good place full of good kind people who although none of us have met you, will take time out of their day to help you - and sometimes to challenge you too.
SR saved my life.
I don't feel disheartened here; instead I feel gratified by the many many success stories.
I hope you'll give us a chance to help you too.
Welcome
D
this is a good place full of good kind people who although none of us have met you, will take time out of their day to help you - and sometimes to challenge you too.
SR saved my life.
I don't feel disheartened here; instead I feel gratified by the many many success stories.
I hope you'll give us a chance to help you too.
Welcome
D
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
If you are in the middle east, there is AA, a quick look at the web and here is the first of many links -
Domains Made Simple
Congrats on your days sober!
Domains Made Simple
Congrats on your days sober!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
