I'm probably wrong, but I think I made myself a problem drinker
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 224
I'm probably wrong, but I think I made myself a problem drinker
I'm not sure how to count the days, but whatever, I stopped drinking at 9:30 on June 4, 2013. I've read quite a bit here and several books on alcoholism. I've done a lot of introspection...I've heard the 'allergy' hypothesis, I've heard the psychological hypothesis. Maybe you all fit into that, but I don't think I do. Of course, this doesn't make me any better...probably makes me worse. I think I caused my problem.
I didn't start drinking until college. In college it was unheard of to drink alone or drink Sunday thru Wednesday. But, Thursday, Friday and Saturday we turned it on. Then after college I laid low for about 2 years in law school. After getting married in law school, I started to drink a little more consistently heavy at home, but still wasn't an everyday deal. When I started practicing law, it got to be a daily thing. Pick up a six pack of natty tallboys and hang out all night with the wife. Then in the past few years I discovered the great taste of IPAs and finer beers. I'd drink at least 3, but usually 5 or six per night. I'd have nights I didn't drink, but it was consistent. I kept on drinking cause i couldnt fall asleep without it plus it was a nice boredom killer. Recently, I've been waking up at the same time every morning with a slight hangover, but horrible guilt/anxiety. After going through with this, I decided to quit.
Now, I truly believe that I did this to myself by forming a bad habit which became an addiction. I am addicted...or else I would be here and wouldn't be facing this terrible insomnia. I'm doing well in my recovery...praying a lot...meditating and enjoying my family...though as stated in another thread, I'm bored. I don't think it matters why I drink, but that I drink. There's not much of a point to this, I just felt like writing.
I didn't start drinking until college. In college it was unheard of to drink alone or drink Sunday thru Wednesday. But, Thursday, Friday and Saturday we turned it on. Then after college I laid low for about 2 years in law school. After getting married in law school, I started to drink a little more consistently heavy at home, but still wasn't an everyday deal. When I started practicing law, it got to be a daily thing. Pick up a six pack of natty tallboys and hang out all night with the wife. Then in the past few years I discovered the great taste of IPAs and finer beers. I'd drink at least 3, but usually 5 or six per night. I'd have nights I didn't drink, but it was consistent. I kept on drinking cause i couldnt fall asleep without it plus it was a nice boredom killer. Recently, I've been waking up at the same time every morning with a slight hangover, but horrible guilt/anxiety. After going through with this, I decided to quit.
Now, I truly believe that I did this to myself by forming a bad habit which became an addiction. I am addicted...or else I would be here and wouldn't be facing this terrible insomnia. I'm doing well in my recovery...praying a lot...meditating and enjoying my family...though as stated in another thread, I'm bored. I don't think it matters why I drink, but that I drink. There's not much of a point to this, I just felt like writing.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
For years I thought my alcohol problem was a habit. I just drank a lot. But it took sobriety to realise how much I had been using it to avoid emotions. I didn't just drink out of habit, there were complex reasons behind it. But then that doesn't explain that when I did drink I did it to excess which could be explained by the allergy theory. And of course alcohol is an addictive substance so it can't just be habit right? I think this is a multi faceted problem and far too complex for my brain to deal with 
But you are right, the why doesn't matter, it's what we do about it that counts 
Well done on your sober time x
But you are right, the why doesn't matter, it's what we do about it that counts Well done on your sober time x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by hypochondriac 
For years I thought my alcohol problem was a habit. I just drank a lot. But it took sobriety to realize how much I had been using it to avoid emotions.
Some people chew their nails, they don't end up chewing off their fingers.
I also can't explain the excess drinking after the first drink. Allergy or not I am an alcoholic.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I think the stuff is addicitve and is insidiously toxic permenently damaging the stop switch.
It started the same way for me, became a daily drinker with increasinly severe binging. Took me ten years to break free.
Now two years sober and thankful. Whatever theory we have, the common thread to success seems to include not drinking (LOL)
It started the same way for me, became a daily drinker with increasinly severe binging. Took me ten years to break free.
Now two years sober and thankful. Whatever theory we have, the common thread to success seems to include not drinking (LOL)
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
"Some people have a genetic predisposition to addiction, but because it involves these basic brain functions, everyone will become an addict if sufficiently exposed to drugs or alcohol."
--Dr. Nora Volkow, director of NIDA
I spent much of my early recovery researching alcoholism, with much of my focus on proving to myself that I wasn’t an alcoholic. I sought the evidence to prove that while I definitely had a drinking problem, I wasn’t addicted to booze. Even now, almost three years into my sobriety, I still wonder about it, especially when I read new members describing just ridiculous drinking or drugging patterns, recounting all their misfortunes, and then questioning if they are addicts. The quote above helped dispel such thinking on my part.
Dr. Volkow says, “…everyone will become an addict if sufficiently exposed to drugs or alcohol.” I was addicted to meth after a couple months, definitely after my first year. Ten years of pot smoking proved I was addicted to marijuana. I drank for over 30 years. Thirty years! And not moderate drinking, by any stretch. If that isn’t sufficiently exposed to alcohol, I don’t know what is. I am addicted to alcohol.
--Dr. Nora Volkow, director of NIDA
I spent much of my early recovery researching alcoholism, with much of my focus on proving to myself that I wasn’t an alcoholic. I sought the evidence to prove that while I definitely had a drinking problem, I wasn’t addicted to booze. Even now, almost three years into my sobriety, I still wonder about it, especially when I read new members describing just ridiculous drinking or drugging patterns, recounting all their misfortunes, and then questioning if they are addicts. The quote above helped dispel such thinking on my part.
Dr. Volkow says, “…everyone will become an addict if sufficiently exposed to drugs or alcohol.” I was addicted to meth after a couple months, definitely after my first year. Ten years of pot smoking proved I was addicted to marijuana. I drank for over 30 years. Thirty years! And not moderate drinking, by any stretch. If that isn’t sufficiently exposed to alcohol, I don’t know what is. I am addicted to alcohol.
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by Crossfitdad
I'm not sure how to count the days, but whatever, I stopped drinking at 9:30 on June 4, 2013. I've read quite a bit here and several books on alcoholism. I've done a lot of introspection...I've heard the 'allergy' hypothesis, I've heard the psychological hypothesis. Maybe you all fit into that, but I don't think I do. Of course, this doesn't make me any better...probably makes me worse. I think I caused my problem.
I didn't start drinking until college. In college it was unheard of to drink alone or drink Sunday thru Wednesday. But, Thursday, Friday and Saturday we turned it on. Then after college I laid low for about 2 years in law school. After getting married in law school, I started to drink a little more consistently heavy at home, but still wasn't an everyday deal. When I started practicing law, it got to be a daily thing. Pick up a six pack of natty tallboys and hang out all night with the wife. Then in the past few years I discovered the great taste of IPAs and finer beers. I'd drink at least 3, but usually 5 or six per night. I'd have nights I didn't drink, but it was consistent. I kept on drinking cause i couldnt fall asleep without it plus it was a nice boredom killer. Recently, I've been waking up at the same time every morning with a slight hangover, but horrible guilt/anxiety. After going through with this, I decided to quit.
Now, I truly believe that I did this to myself by forming a bad habit which became an addiction. I am addicted...or else I would be here and wouldn't be facing this terrible insomnia. I'm doing well in my recovery...praying a lot...meditating and enjoying my family...though as stated in another thread, I'm bored. I don't think it matters why I drink, but that I drink. There's not much of a point to this, I just felt like writing.
I didn't start drinking until college. In college it was unheard of to drink alone or drink Sunday thru Wednesday. But, Thursday, Friday and Saturday we turned it on. Then after college I laid low for about 2 years in law school. After getting married in law school, I started to drink a little more consistently heavy at home, but still wasn't an everyday deal. When I started practicing law, it got to be a daily thing. Pick up a six pack of natty tallboys and hang out all night with the wife. Then in the past few years I discovered the great taste of IPAs and finer beers. I'd drink at least 3, but usually 5 or six per night. I'd have nights I didn't drink, but it was consistent. I kept on drinking cause i couldnt fall asleep without it plus it was a nice boredom killer. Recently, I've been waking up at the same time every morning with a slight hangover, but horrible guilt/anxiety. After going through with this, I decided to quit.
Now, I truly believe that I did this to myself by forming a bad habit which became an addiction. I am addicted...or else I would be here and wouldn't be facing this terrible insomnia. I'm doing well in my recovery...praying a lot...meditating and enjoying my family...though as stated in another thread, I'm bored. I don't think it matters why I drink, but that I drink. There's not much of a point to this, I just felt like writing.
I guess it doesnt matter how you ended up an alcoholic or why, it just matters that you are getting sober and doing well. I never got into what causes alcoholism, I just became painfully aware that I had it. Ive heard many of the theories of what can case it, but I guess I never cared. For me, I suppose it was a mix of genetics, my situation at that time, my sensitive nature, and the fact that at one time alcohol was a lot of fun..............but then it stopped being fun and more of a burden. Thanks for the post.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 16
Hey dude!
Your post spoke to me. We seem to both be having our "Come To Jesus" moment. I wish I could help in some way.
I've found that this is a great place to pour it all out anonymously and honestly. For me this was in and of itself a huge first step. I'm starting to get to know myself in a way I never have.
I'm starting to see how things got to where they are now, starting from quite a while before I taught myself to love alcohol.
Your post spoke to me. We seem to both be having our "Come To Jesus" moment. I wish I could help in some way.
I've found that this is a great place to pour it all out anonymously and honestly. For me this was in and of itself a huge first step. I'm starting to get to know myself in a way I never have.
I'm starting to see how things got to where they are now, starting from quite a while before I taught myself to love alcohol.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
I actually do think it matters why I started drinking.
I know, for me, the alcohol is not the issue, it's me that's the issue. I needed something to numb myself in my life and I happened to choose alcohol. So when I stopped drinking I had to a lot of soul-searching and face some realities about me and my life in order to recover. If I had just stopped drinking and not done the other work, I wouldn't be in recovery today.
I know, for me, the alcohol is not the issue, it's me that's the issue. I needed something to numb myself in my life and I happened to choose alcohol. So when I stopped drinking I had to a lot of soul-searching and face some realities about me and my life in order to recover. If I had just stopped drinking and not done the other work, I wouldn't be in recovery today.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: England
Posts: 8
Hi! Well done on getting sober. I have had periods throughout my life when I didn't drink, e.g while I was pregnant. My alcoholism did not progress in a neat upwards curve. If I charted it on a graph it would have many peaks and troughs. However, it is a dangerous illness and will kill me if I do not stay sober. Are you attending any group therapy meetings such as AA? You will find in time that life gets better and is far from boring, I have no magic advise but just keep hanging on in there. You will have a new life which is far more interesting than the old one with alcohol!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 27
I am right where you are... I have done this to my self and I am a little pi##ed off about it! I don't want to stop drinking but after 5 days and reading many stories on SR it is more clear than ever where I am at. I must stop regardless of how or why I got here angry or not. Time to suck it up and start living a new life that can only be better. I am worried about other things that may come up that people refer to like "why" I drink. The emotional why I numb myself stuff... But I can't let that stop me.
Look back at a post that asks what things have you done to drink. Some people steal or go without food or utilities.. Others like me pound a couple extra beers in the garage so wife won't know I have had 9 instead of 5. Or drink while riding ohv. And many more seemingly benign but destructive behaviors. When you right all the ways you drink down on you may be surprised it is you.
It was therapeutic and eye opening for me to write down all the things I do to drink. Most of all this forum has helped see that I am not alone and my "hunch" or questions about being an alcoholic are quite clear now.
Keep posting. Lots of support here
Look back at a post that asks what things have you done to drink. Some people steal or go without food or utilities.. Others like me pound a couple extra beers in the garage so wife won't know I have had 9 instead of 5. Or drink while riding ohv. And many more seemingly benign but destructive behaviors. When you right all the ways you drink down on you may be surprised it is you.
It was therapeutic and eye opening for me to write down all the things I do to drink. Most of all this forum has helped see that I am not alone and my "hunch" or questions about being an alcoholic are quite clear now.
Keep posting. Lots of support here
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