Day 10 check in
 

Almost at the two week mark without cigarettes or alcohol. My legs are really sore from running and I feel like my chest is sore too. I dont really feel anything except anxiety and I wish I was not scared all the time. I am going bass fishing this afternoon and I will be cooking salmon for dinner. So yea, I am trying to not get destroyed on the weekends. I am a binge drinker so Saturday is tough. I hope everyone on SR has a fulfilling weekend.

Glad to see you're still here! You have some of us a scare. Hang in there. You can do this.

Glad to hear you're doing better. :hug:

Good job on day 10!! Sounds like you've got a good plan of action going. Have a great time bass fishing! You are doing awesome!! :)

Got skunked but it was still a nice day to fish. Ate mushrooms and black grapes for lunch. So I just got back from a walk/run. Now I want to go out and party... But I will stay in and feel comfortable with my loneliness and anxiety. Tonight will be the true test.

Well I went to the store and bought more seltzer water. I like to buy them in cans because I can pound them the way I used to drink beer without the drunkenness/weight gain. Tonight I wanted to go into town and walk around, maybe listen to some live music, but I know I cannot go into a place where I used to drink and resist all the alcohol laid out on the shelves. Why is alcohol so glamorized in our society? I am watching the NHL playoffs and everyone in the alcohol commercials is thin and young. No one has any age related scars or physical attributes. No one is crying or falling down, or ruining a relationship. Same thing in bars. All the dark lighting and stuff. I don't know, it just seems so ridiculous this time, the time and money people spend to ingest what is essentially a poison. Bring on the seltzer water and a lonely Saturday night!

I do the same with those cans of seltzer :) love the flavored bubbly water :)

You're doing great! Do you have a long term plan of recovery in place yet for the times when you're gonna be thrown for a loop?

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Well the exercise thing is helping me more than anything else has ever helped me. I have been running/walking two hours twice a day: once in the day time and once at night. So I know at some point I will be offered something, and all I can say is I have to be vigilant and cement it in my head that I am a non drinker and non smoker. We are all individuals, and no one thing or plan is going to fit all people, but the longer I stay sober the more I learn about my self, and each time I try to get sober the more I learn about how difficult it is and how fragile sobriety is all the time. But I am responsible for my own life, and I have to find new social things to do besides going to bars, so I am taking a language class this summer and planning on joining a yoga group or photography class or something. I might go to church in the morning, I went one Sunday when I was trying to get sober in January. It just sucks because I am alone all the time, I don't have any friends, I am a grad student in a college town and I didn't make any friends with people in my department, but that is probably because people thought I was an ass hole. So long term plan? In all honesty I am taking it day by day, and hour by hour on bad days like yesterday and the latter part of today. I am not smoking, not drinking, exercising after months of just walking to class, and I am not drinking soda or eating fast food. All these changes at once are easier for me. In the past I would continue smoking while not drinking, but the cigarettes just made me want to drink.