i found that i would always have a couple of beers, and control it just fine..
and then the next week i would do the same based on my new found knowledge and commitment to control
and then the next week i would end up in jail, or a 5 day bender
Yes, as they used to say in the Middle East, once you let the camel get its nose into the tent it won't be long until you've got the whole camel in there. With booze, it may take a little more time to run down the slippery slope. (But the "beast" down there in the midbrain has plenty of time and lots of patience.) One thing I've noticed. As I got older the gradient of the slope got less gradual, steeper, and the slope itself more slippery. Eventually it didn't take long for things to get pretty serious. Maybe that's what they mean when they say that the illness is "progressive." If you're really an alcoholic you can't any more play around with booze, consider "teeny tiny rewards" to yourself, than you can afford to play Russian Roulette.