Who knew that being sober would make me a reasonable person?
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 250
Who knew that being sober would make me a reasonable person?
I started alcohol abstinence this April, I had two one-day slip-ups since April and am currently 3-1/2 weeks alcohol free.
I want to write a little about how I am the "real me" for the first time probably in my whole adult life. I didn't believe other peoples' testimonies about how abstinence has change their lives in very fundamental ways. I now see how alcohol made me an irrational and unfocused person. For the first time in my life, I was able to deal with a really uncomfortable, and sensitive issue regarding my son and his school with assertiveness, open-mindedness and with a calm attitude. I was able to accept where there were miscommunications and misunderstandings for all parties and remain on good terms with the school faculty. They actually thanked me for my "positive attitude in dealing with a sensitive and difficult situation." Wow. That is a first for me.
I have been thinking a lot about all of the truly wonderful, special people on this site who have had recent relapses. I want you to know that it does get better little by little. Even though I am still mourning the loss of my best friend, the bottle, and I still have to fight cravings, I am glad that I am getting my house, family and finances back in order.
I really had no idea that I was at heart a laid-back, reasonable person. I feel that even though I will have to struggle to stay sober, it will be worth it. We only get one life, so I want to make this one the best.
Thanks everyone on SR for the wisdom and support I have received. I am so fortunate that when I googled "help for alcoholism," SR popped up at the top of the list.
-First
I want to write a little about how I am the "real me" for the first time probably in my whole adult life. I didn't believe other peoples' testimonies about how abstinence has change their lives in very fundamental ways. I now see how alcohol made me an irrational and unfocused person. For the first time in my life, I was able to deal with a really uncomfortable, and sensitive issue regarding my son and his school with assertiveness, open-mindedness and with a calm attitude. I was able to accept where there were miscommunications and misunderstandings for all parties and remain on good terms with the school faculty. They actually thanked me for my "positive attitude in dealing with a sensitive and difficult situation." Wow. That is a first for me.
I have been thinking a lot about all of the truly wonderful, special people on this site who have had recent relapses. I want you to know that it does get better little by little. Even though I am still mourning the loss of my best friend, the bottle, and I still have to fight cravings, I am glad that I am getting my house, family and finances back in order.
I really had no idea that I was at heart a laid-back, reasonable person. I feel that even though I will have to struggle to stay sober, it will be worth it. We only get one life, so I want to make this one the best.
Thanks everyone on SR for the wisdom and support I have received. I am so fortunate that when I googled "help for alcoholism," SR popped up at the top of the list.
-First
Love this!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I can't believe I was such a miserable person to be around during my drinking days. I would technically be sober with a hangover, but I was short-tempered and impatient with everyone all day until I could get home for my elixir. I would snap at the slightest provocation, especially when dealing with people on the phone. I was never rude before. Without the booze, I actually smile at people now instead of scowl.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
That was excellent, lstthings. I'm sure many here will be encouraged by your observations.
It's ironic - we drink to calm ourselves, to cope - and make life more enjoyable. Drinking turned me into a raging, confrontational mad woman.
Drinking Hevyn was nothing like the real me. I'm so glad we are healing and getting better every day.
Congratulations on your 3-1/2 wks. Very proud of you.
It's ironic - we drink to calm ourselves, to cope - and make life more enjoyable. Drinking turned me into a raging, confrontational mad woman.
Drinking Hevyn was nothing like the real me. I'm so glad we are healing and getting better every day.Congratulations on your 3-1/2 wks. Very proud of you.
Blu**ed Lines...A ClockWork SR
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,529
Very nice.... I've found myself actually defusing volatile situations instead of jumping into the heat of battle to WIN. I'm kind of realizing that wining at its best is persuading people from an objective place and understanding that though they many be wrong and/or irrational it usually starts with good intentions. My brain and emotions are fusing together to become a decent Needless Drama Detector. Anyways; sorry for the ramble and glad you're doing well. I dried out in April too and Its getting soooo much better!
Wonderful post about hope and experience 
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Loving this post/thread. I'm so very early in my sobriety. I was a nightly wino...have been for quite a number of years. I have long thought of myself as quick tempered with a low frustration tolerance. I am often defensive and snarky....
Hmmmm...does this perhaps mean the booze had something to do with my temperament? I am encouraged! Perhaps I may learn some patience and calm in this new adventure.
Hmmmm...does this perhaps mean the booze had something to do with my temperament? I am encouraged! Perhaps I may learn some patience and calm in this new adventure.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hillsborough, NJ
Posts: 267
Congratulations...
Hello Firstthingsfirst....
I am recovering from co-dependency and your words reminded me of what I once said to my ex-boyfriend....
Several months after we parted ways, I told him that I loved the "Real Him" so much more than the person he was showing to the rest of the world....
"That" person was the one who intimidated me and couldn't be with long term....
I am so glad that you are at a point in your recovery where you are beginning to love and embrace the real you.....
Wishing you the very best,
Linda
I am recovering from co-dependency and your words reminded me of what I once said to my ex-boyfriend....
Several months after we parted ways, I told him that I loved the "Real Him" so much more than the person he was showing to the rest of the world....
"That" person was the one who intimidated me and couldn't be with long term....
I am so glad that you are at a point in your recovery where you are beginning to love and embrace the real you.....
Wishing you the very best,
Linda
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by 1stthingsfirst 
I started alcohol abstinence this April, I had two one-day slip-ups since April and am currently 3-1/2 weeks alcohol free.
I want to write a little about how I am the "real me" for the first time probably in my whole adult life. I didn't believe other peoples' testimonies about how abstinence has change their lives in very fundamental ways. I now see how alcohol made me an irrational and unfocused person. For the first time in my life, I was able to deal with a really uncomfortable, and sensitive issue regarding my son and his school with assertiveness, open-mindedness and with a calm attitude. I was able to accept where there were miscommunications and misunderstandings for all parties and remain on good terms with the school faculty. They actually thanked me for my "positive attitude in dealing with a sensitive and difficult situation." Wow. That is a first for me.
I have been thinking a lot about all of the truly wonderful, special people on this site who have had recent relapses. I want you to know that it does get better little by little. Even though I am still mourning the loss of my best friend, the bottle, and I still have to fight cravings, I am glad that I am getting my house, family and finances back in order.
I really had no idea that I was at heart a laid-back, reasonable person. I feel that even though I will have to struggle to stay sober, it will be worth it. We only get one life, so I want to make this one the best.
Thanks everyone on SR for the wisdom and support I have received. I am so fortunate that when I googled "help for alcoholism," SR popped up at the top of the list.
-First
I want to write a little about how I am the "real me" for the first time probably in my whole adult life. I didn't believe other peoples' testimonies about how abstinence has change their lives in very fundamental ways. I now see how alcohol made me an irrational and unfocused person. For the first time in my life, I was able to deal with a really uncomfortable, and sensitive issue regarding my son and his school with assertiveness, open-mindedness and with a calm attitude. I was able to accept where there were miscommunications and misunderstandings for all parties and remain on good terms with the school faculty. They actually thanked me for my "positive attitude in dealing with a sensitive and difficult situation." Wow. That is a first for me.
I have been thinking a lot about all of the truly wonderful, special people on this site who have had recent relapses. I want you to know that it does get better little by little. Even though I am still mourning the loss of my best friend, the bottle, and I still have to fight cravings, I am glad that I am getting my house, family and finances back in order.
I really had no idea that I was at heart a laid-back, reasonable person. I feel that even though I will have to struggle to stay sober, it will be worth it. We only get one life, so I want to make this one the best.
Thanks everyone on SR for the wisdom and support I have received. I am so fortunate that when I googled "help for alcoholism," SR popped up at the top of the list.
-First
Excellent post!! It will continue to get better and better too. Just wait till you really start to surprise yourself and find there really aren't any limits to what you can accomplish when you have a clear head. Congrats!!! I am proud of you.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Loving this post/thread. I'm so very early in my sobriety. I was a nightly wino...have been for quite a number of years. I have long thought of myself as quick tempered with a low frustration tolerance. I am often defensive and snarky....
Hmmmm...does this perhaps mean the booze had something to do with my temperament? I am encouraged! Perhaps I may learn some patience and calm in this new adventure.
Hmmmm...does this perhaps mean the booze had something to do with my temperament? I am encouraged! Perhaps I may learn some patience and calm in this new adventure.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 250
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Loving this post/thread. I'm so very early in my sobriety. I was a nightly wino...have been for quite a number of years. I have long thought of myself as quick tempered with a low frustration tolerance. I am often defensive and snarky....
Hmmmm...does this perhaps mean the booze had something to do with my temperament? I am encouraged! Perhaps I may learn some patience and calm in this new adventure.
Hmmmm...does this perhaps mean the booze had something to do with my temperament? I am encouraged! Perhaps I may learn some patience and calm in this new adventure.
I thought I was a quick-tempered, snarky person, too! Perhaps us newbies will find more and more things about ourselves that we find surprising! Very excited about my journey of sobriety.
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