Nschappe

Hello, I am newly registered here although I have been reading your posts for sometime. My 19 year old son is a drug addict. I think its mostly heroin, buthue seems to be willing to do anything. I guess we've been dealing with this for four or five years. This morning he told me to "stay the f@"& out of" his business. I replied, "when my real son wants his mom, I'll be here.". I'm tired. I have two other kids. I think it is time for me to put him out of my mind. My fear is that I actually will forget him and then die of shock when he reappears either dead or alive. Until today, I have been staying present just by sending texts that say things like, "I hope you're having a nice day." I get no response usually. The thing is, we couldn't enable him if we wanted to. He won't take anything from us. He'd rather be homeless. He is sweet when we do have contact though. On Mothers Day he brought flowers and a very nice card. Of course he offered pot to my youngest son the same day. Anyway, I need to sleep, take care of my other two, my husband ... I have two questions: should I go silent to allow me to focus on what's left of our family or keep up the texts? And does anyone else have one of these fiercely independent addicts that will sleep outside in winter before they let you help them?

Dee74

Hi Nschappe

we have a lot of people here with a lot more experience and wisdom than me in this - I know you'll hear from them soon.

the important thing is you're here - welcome

D

Nighthawk8820

Im not a parent, so I cant pretend to know how hard this is for you. I wont offer you some BS cliche either, as I find them annoying and unhelpful. That being said, I think he needs some professional help. He is at a crossroads right now and its either he keeps using, falls through the cracks of society, and it doesnt end well...........or he can realize life can be much more than he thinks possible, but right now he simply cannot see it. Sometimes the biggest struggles in life have the biggest pay off. Dont give up on him, but dont allow him to control your life and family (easier said than done, I know). You might want to reach out to some sort of program or something. You could even petition for commitment and he may hate your guts for it at first, but it might be the best thing to happen to him. Thats my advice, and keep in mind I have no kids (im pretty much a kid myself), but his judgment is so clouded right now, he isn't himself.

least

Of course you realize that he won't get help until he wants it. We have a forum here just for people in your shoes. Here's a link.


Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Living

Agree with Nighthawk on a lot of what he said, but I am sorry to say that I would have straightened his butt out when he offered his younger brother pot. Addicts are addicts, I will always be an alcoholic, but with determination and grace - a sober one. I would never wish addiction on another.

Might get some bad feedback for saying this, but I would have called the authorities and had his butt locked up for a while to give him time to think. I hope your other son has seen what drugs have done to his brother and doesn't want to follow in his foot steps.

Again sorry for being harsh, but I hate pushers. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.