Midlifecrisis

I just want to freaking die. I can't live with the pain but I can't live with the solution. I can't handle physical pain on top of the emotional
And mental stuff that's coming up right now.

ScottFromWI

You can and you will MLC. You know what path lies at the end of the road if you choose the current solution. Do you really want to go there again?

Midlifecrisis

No I don't, definitely not.

suki44883

Yes. You can. You are stronger than you think you are. You CAN do this.

venuscat

Ditto. suki is right, you CAN do this!!!!

Midlifecrisis

I can't live with this pain for maybe 3 years?! I've got 5 kids to look after.

ScottFromWI

And you already know that if you go back to using, you won't be looking after the kids anymore either, right? So it seems you only have one option.

Midlifecrisis

ScottFromWI

You know what to do. You've come a long way In the past month MLC. Don't throw away all the work you've done. Do it for you, your kids and your husband.

Dee74

There's no need for you to suffer in pain for three years.

It is your responsibility to find the right Dr, and the right treatment, that wont wake up the AV tho.

I know it's hard, but you have a lot of support & you've already come so far - and you're worth it MLC - so are your kids and your husband

D

SnwFlower

You can do this MLC. What about the acupuncture alternative? When you speak with your doctor maybe they can suggest other options like that for pain relief? It's helped me with back pain.

Midlifecrisis

I think maybe I'm not ready for recovery. My doctor was off sick so I saw someone else. He saw all my diazepam use and notes on the computer and wasn't keen to give me endone but he gave me tramadol. It has made me feel like crap. No pain relief and just nauseous and dead in the head.

Dee74

You have a lot to lose if you start believing that MLC.

D

venuscat

The meds may be making you feel bad MLC.... this is not you. You are strong. You want this. You want to be whole and healthy for you and your family....

The acupuncture alternative sounds like a great avenue to explore...it helps so many people.

Love V xx

Michael66

Hi MLC,

To be a little harsh, when you say you're not ready for recovery, it's possible that you are just trying to create an excuse to drink. From what you post it does seem you need recovery much more than you need alcohol, though perhaps at this moment you want alcohol more.

Midlifecrisis

Yeah I feel I'm not strong enough to deal with the pain plus everything that comes along with early recovery. I don't desire alcohol at all, it's not my
Drug of choice.

Thanks for the comments all.

Grungehead

MLC,

Take a tramadol and go lay down...by yourself...for 2-3 yours. You don't have to sleep, just let your body relax. You need to clear you mind of all of this clutter that's built up.

Midlifecrisis

The tramadol doesn't agree with me, yuk. I am still itching from taking one at 10.30 and feel nauseous and just yuk jn the head. I just took one endone so I will try and rest though its dinner time nearly. Thanks, I do need to clear my head. Time to pray I think.

Grungehead

Pros of Endone

pain relief
high
escape

Cons of Endone

Relapse
Lose Kids
Lose Husband
Possible OD
Possible Hospital
Detox/Treatment

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All the pros are temporary solutions and you must get more to keep them going.
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All of the cons are long term consequences that may change your life forever

Midlifecrisis

Thanks grungehead


What Is wrong with me?