carlyle

I have read may posts and like the messages. many make sense and tell a similar story to mine. I am till stuck in the mode that drinking works for me. I like it. i don't have legal troubles or financial troubles or marital troubles. i dont drink at work, i coach youth sports... my two worlds don't cross. but I know i drink too much. Especially when i spend three days with AWS! ugh. I have stopped before but start again a think to my self OOOOH Yaaaaa thats why i drink.

Living

Keep reading and posting. Alcoholism can bring you down pretty fast and it is better for you to stop while you are ahead.

DAB

Welcome, Carlyle!
If you feel that your life is in check and you enjoy drinking, what makes you think that you drink too much?
How much do you drink?

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR carlyle

I remember that feeling, that I still wanted to drink. I think I would have said anything so I wouldn't have had to give it up. When I look back on that time now though I think it seems a bit nuts. It's like a bad relationship, you don't realise how bad it really was until you're really out of it.

My worlds never collided either, but my health took a battering. When the **** hits the fan it seems to come on really fast and stopping drinking becomes a necessity. It seems that way anyway but in reality during those years of drinking things weren't fine and drinking never did any working for you... I hope you don't have to wait til it gets really bad x

carlyle

6-8 every night and probably more on weekends. All goes along fine for a month or two then I get tired and have a few days of withdrawals. Turning forty it seems as it is catching up. Also I started getting help for anxiety a few years ago and I can't help but imagine the two are linked. But at times of sobriety I realize I like drinking because it takes my mind off of a stressful job.

I just have a hard time imagine doing the things I do without a miller light. Cleaning the garage, fishing, playing guitar. It's relaxing and eases anxiety, but I know I am self medicating.
It is tough getting through the first couple months because it does seem to effect family more than when I have a buzz.

I am just afraid to be that guy who can never have another beer.

carlyle

Also, the cravings are a definate warning sign. I am feeling like I am convincing myself it is ok

Dee74

Hi Carlyle

I think we were all afraid to be that guy. I did everything with a beer too. I self medicated for anxiety and a lot of other things too.

The thing is - on the other side of the fence now, I'm fitter, I'm happier, I'm less stressed and more in touch with who I really am.

I can look at myself in the mirror and not have to look away. I can make plans for after 9pm and know I won't be passed out.

I do a better job - I'm a better worker. I'm a better partner, friend, uncle, and brother too

I regained my life and myself.

And it all started with putting down the beer

you'll find a lot of support here Carlyle - you're not alone

D

Hevyn

Welcome to SR carlyle. Glad you are finding it helpful so far.

I was afraid to let go of it, too. I drank the same way you do - to relieve anxiety or boredom, to cope. Over time, though, I became completely dependent on it. The binges would get closer together - and finally, I was drinking every day. You're wise to be taking a look at your drinking habits and what they're doing to your life. It's good that you're acknowledging the warning signs. I never did until my life was in ruins. I'm happy you joined us.

carlyle

I can't express my gratitude I am feeling for finding this site and for you sharing your experience and insights. The relief is a little overwhelming and emotional.

I have thought a lot about going to bed really early and getting up really early to shift my whole schedule from those drinking times. Has this worked for any of you or know of it being effective?

Dee74

I think changing routine can really be helpful in the initial period....I mostly varied my routine around those times of the day when I would drink the most tho.

D

DAB

I drank pretty much the same, a six pack of cheap beer, and then a 24oz bottle of good beer, I called it my dessert beer.
My triglycerides were through the roof, my wife hated my drinking, and I wasn't spending enough quality time with my daughter. The money I was pissing away on beer was ridiculous. I found that when I tried to control my drinking by setting limits, like say no more than 3 etc., I just didn't enjoy it. I was either wishing I could have more and obsessing about it, or I was thinking of ways I could sneak in a couple more without my wife noticing.
When I drank and enjoyed it like mentioned above, I just couldn't maintain a decent quality home life. So yes, I became that guy who can never have another beer. I have never been happier and I have AA to thank for that.
Without AA my past stints of sobriety completely sucked.