CaitlinLives

Almost 28 years of marriage, and some very good memories, and some very bad. I spent last weekend like a nomad, fleeing my house to stay at my elderly dad's house one night, then on a not very fun vacation at the beach, simply to get away from him. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I dread the weekends, that's when he drinks. I'm 53 years old, I have a low-paying office job and can't afford the kids' college by myself. But I find myself wishing, god, this is awful, but sometimes I just wish he would die. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I have thought it. I'm ashamed that I think things like that. He gets drunk, gets on Facebook, and friends what are probably at least strippers, or some sort of porn losers. But he can't be bothered to "like" any posts from me or our kids. He has the world's largest porn collection, totally addicted. He is child-like in the way he dresses and acts, like some sort of aging rock star. He stares at other women on the rare occasions that we go out. He blames me for his drinking. I want to stay until my son finishes college in hopefully two years, because he inherited a bunch of money and I have no money of my own, and under Maryland law, that money he inherited is his alone, even though I'm the one who took care of his father. Is it possible that the alcohol warped his personality?

Spinach

I wouldn't know where to start, al anon perhaps. Do you have anything to work with ,support from your son? Would your life just not be better elsewhere.
I'm sorry for you ,drink can make people just intolerable .
John.

Hevyn

Welcome to SR Caitlin. I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. Please also check out the Friends & Family forum here too. I'm sure you'll get some good advice and understanding.

I do think heavy drinking can change and warp us. I know it turned me into someone I didn't recognize after drinking heavily for many years.

DAB

Is he abusive when he drinks?
Read the book "Co-dependant no more".

least

The behavior you describe sounds pretty warped all by itself, alcohol or no alcohol. I hope you can last another two years before you can escape this situation. We have a forum for people in your situation. Take a look


Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Pondlady

If you left before your son finished college, he could complete a new FAFSA, listing only your income, and get financial aid. It is possible your husband may contribute to your son's education....my ex would not....so we went the financial aid route.

Two years could be a very long time, especially if you're so unhappy.