Struggling
 

I feel like I'm losing my focus on recovery. I'm feeling distant from and a bit resentful of the people who are involved in my recovery, feeling like an outsider again. No particular reason. I keep thinking I've made a big deal out of nothing and no one really cares about my situation anyway, so why not drink? I try to redirect my thinking to stay focused on recovery, but it's hard, and I don't want to reach out, I want to isolate myself. Is this a normal phase? I hope I can get through it, it's hard. I don't even want to post here but I know I should stay connected. So there it is.

Hi Briar!

You might want to stop thinking about who cares about your drinking and who not. It has nothing to do with YOU. You need to want to do this for yourself.

I feel like isolating myself as well. I wanna buy a farm or my own island and just stay away from everybody. It would be so much more easier. I'm focusing on me and other people and their opinions are very distracting.
But since I have no money to buy me an island or possibility to move far far away, I will keep my eyes on the future that looks so much better sober and move on.

I hope that you'll feel better and fight this thing with us

It sounds to me like your addiction is trying to justify picking up a drink. Resentment and isolation are a perfect recipe for relapse. You have to be the one to care about your situation regardless of what others think.

Ask yourself why you are feeling resentful of those people.
Ask yourself why you want to isolate.

Be honest with yourself with the answers. You're right it is hard. As one of my old sponsors used to tell me, getting sober ain't for sissies. Sometimes I find myself wanting to isolate (my favorite thing to do when drinking). I have to force myself to reach out to others for help. When I do that I always feel better afterwards.

I have felt like too at times Briar. It's my disease trying to talk me into drinking. First, the good sober people in my life start annoying me (I make up reasons) then I sit in meetings thinking "yeh yeh that's bs". Then I want to isolate. For this alcoholic I know that's when I need to reach out the most. Stick it out, it will pass eventually. I never regret NOT drinking. But if I do pick up, I'll just start self-loathing and Lord knows what else. The fact that you are reaching out on here speaks volumes. Sounds like you want to stay sober more than you want to drink and that's a good day in my book :)

hey briar...yes sometimes trudging the road involves trudging in waist deep snow...yes it can be normal to experience what u describe..but keep your eye on the prize my friend and this too shall pass

Hey briar come back to the moms group! Dee set us up with a new thread in the daily support section.

Don't give up now!

Hi Briar

I had many years of hating myself, and thinking I was not worth it...when I wasn't thinking that I was thinking everyone else hated me and thought I was worthless.

Those kinds of feelings were further fuelled by my drinking, or they led me to think about drinking in the moments when I was sober.

Of course the truth is you're not worthless and you're not an outsider :)
You belong here :)

stay strong - don't listen to the voice - you already know what listening to the voice gets you.

Try something different - keep going, stay sober - you'll find, like I did, that your perceptions will change the longer you stay sober :)

D

Dee said it all.... glad you found the courage to post even when you didn't want to...

Is this a normal stage of recovery? Well, it was for me.... like you, I have been through stages of misery. But it gets better.

Love Venus xx

We hear it over and over again "drinking because we are disappointed or angry with another is like taking poison hoping the other person will die"

Why would you undermine your happiness because of someone else?

I heard a woman speak on Sunday and she spoke about resenting others. She said she would look at people and then think of "what I could've been, what I should've been and what I want to be."
I could really identify with this.
I need to remember that I came into recovery because of the damage it was doing to MY life.

I can totally relate to the resentment. For me, my resentment is/was towards the closest to me. My friends and family. I felt like saying stop making a big deal about this, I can do this on my own. I'm not going to meetings, I'm not doing this, not doing that. I just felt like they did not really understand my situation.

I made the decision to dive into SR yesterday and I cannot believe the welcome and understanding that you all have given me. I may be isolating myself to get through the initial detox phases, but so far SR has been making me want to be accountable. Hope this makes sense. I'm still trying to sort things out myself and I'm newly into this, but when I read your post I understood just what you were saying. Hang in there!

Exactly!

What program of recovery are you practicing?

When I feel myself "slipping" I call my sponsor or one of the AA oldtimers.

All the best.

Bob R

You are letting other people effect your own sobriety. Did you get sober for YOU or did you do it for other people? So what if you arent getting a ton of attention from other people? You arent a little child and this whole sobriety thing is something you have to want and do for you, often times on your own with little or no support. Dont expect others to give a rats @ss about what it is your going through, because people wont for the most part. Its a fact of life. If you can find some support, then run with it, but dont expect it. Either you want to drink or you dont, no one can make that choice but you. There are many phases to this and each one WILL pass, but you have to be patient and good to yourself.