Dee74

We've all been there.

Make a plan.

Find support - be prepared to make some changes.
You can do this - if you're prepared to do what it takes?

D

MrChainsaw

Yes, but that costs money and theyll just refer me to AA. Insurance wont cover rehab or detox, Ive looked into it. I want to make changes, I really do. Just, the loneliness combined with the withdrawals. I feel like if I can make it through the first week, I can get through the rest. But 6 years of heavy drinking is hard to break, even with benzos and chlonodine. I swear I was sweating like I was in a sauna, restless as all hell, and anxious as anything Ive felt before, if not worse. My room is trashed from the violent outburst I had earlier.

And heres one huge obstacle: My father drinks daily. I was anxious and heard him crack open the beer and I swear, I started salivating in a pavloves dogs sense. I cant afford to move out.

I want to consider alcoholics anonymous but Im afraid to run into someone I know there. What if word gets back to my mother and father? I dont want to dissapoint them. I feel like the shame would push me over the edge.

Twoworlds12345

hey MrC

im 24 and going through the same as you are. you are not alone. Im not sure how medical detoxs work over in america but ive been put on tablets to help me through this through this with the NHS over here. can you not ask your GP over there for a bit of help to calm the withdrawal?

MrChainsaw

Day 3 in the books. Im starting to feel like a human again. An irritable, annoyed human but a human nonetheless. That first day is the hardest. Now I have to work on myself to help develop better coping skills instead of boozing.

Ive become addicted to Ice water but thats not a bad addiction to have. Im still worried about my pinkies but they have improved slightly. If they dont improve in a few weeks, Ill see the doc.

I hope to start hitting the gym early next week. Ive been feeling tired as heck these past few days but Im sure that has something to do with the withdrawals.

Rennet

I was in a similar situation a coupe of years ago, 24 and coming to terms with the fact that I had a problem.

I was never able to do much about it since there are a lot of social pressures at that age, and I was high functioning so there wasn't a lot of incentive.

Now 26, I can tell you that it isn't up to you whether or not you quit. It's when. You can either quit while you're alive or quit when it kills you. It will only get worse.

So good job recognizing the issue. My only advice is notice the trend of most stories here.. people start functioning until they no longer are. Most are in worse situations than you trying to quit much older, with family, kids, etc. Right now it is very easy to ignore the issue but look at others to see it is only worse later on

Good luck!

MrChainsaw

Yeah. I was high functioning too. I was training as a boxer for awhile and looked great. Never drove drunk.

Until Recently, Ive started noticing problems with my pinkies and Drunk Driving. If I keep spinning the chamber, Im gonna eventually get the bullet (to make a grim analogy).

Rennet

So true, for me at least. I always bragged about how I got away with my crazy high school and college years. Had calmed down since then to just be a typical alcoholic white collar worker. Then at 25 I drove drunk (which I had stopped doing years ago), crashed into a building, spent the night in jail and got my first marks on the ol' criminal record. Broke a windshield with my skull. Lost my car, then job. And all of my money.

Not depressing, but humbling. Bink your eyes and booze will mess stuff up quick.

MrChainsaw

I too never drove drunk from the time of 21-24 and then just recently I had the "Why walk to the liquor store when I can drive there" drunkard thoughts. A dui is an expensive hangover. An expensive lifelong hangover.

Rennet

Yea I could've taken a taxi about 1000 times for how much it cost me, not counting the cost of the criminal record and time spent in court.

The funny part is, later that summer I sprained my wrist really bad. I was riding my bike drunk, since I no longer had the car, and crashed riding into some trolley tracks. It was about that time I gave more serious thought to quitting :P All of this within a 4-5 month period. Lying in bed with a hangover, a busted wrist, no job no car and no money

MrChainsaw

Hello. I havent posted here for awhile.

And with good reason, I have stayed mostly sober.

I was put on ritalin and it made alcohol taste like crap! I had a sip and could not do it. Ritalin has been a miracle drug. My impulse control has increased as well, so Im eating right and exercising 5 times a week. I dont wanna say Ive beaten this but a small, 10mg, cheap pill has kept me from binge drinking 4-5 nights a week. I dont even look at alcohol as something you drink. Its simply "there"