ersatzmatriarch

i don't really have many identifiable triggers to drinking, other than it being a day that had a 10:00am... but one of my outside (and major) triggers just walked through my door to stay the night. my mother-in-law.

i knew she was coming, and i worked through some plans and stuff with my sponsor to protect my sobriety and sanity while she's here... and i think i'm going to implement them all before dinner!

i just discovered one we didn't discuss... i'm repeating the mantra "HP grant me the strength..." (that's as far as i get before i have to say it over and over again!)

i am not drinking, nor will i... but this is my first full-fledged anxious, trembling, must-focus-at-all-costs moment of my 8 days sober. i've been so calm and peaceful these last few days that this feels all kinds of icky.

i'm going to go make the beds and put away laundry (she doesn't do stairs until she goes to bed, so she won't follow), then make dinner, read to the kids and tuck them in, then go to a meeting. i'm just going to keep working my plan, do the next right thing, and mutter my mantra until i can get the eff outta here!!! (sponsor is calling me in a few minutes as well, which we prearranged, so that will help!)

spare good thoughts, please!!! i can and will do this, but i know for certain i can't do it alone...

thanks!

Dorris

You can and you will do this don't let her be your excuse to drink. As crazy as your head is right now your doing all the right things to protect yourself so breathe and try to go a little easier on yourself, stick to what you said and move through these testing times x

Anna

Good for you. Just keep moving through your day doing the things you need to do. You will feel stronger for getting through this.

Dee74

We're all beside you EM

D

Dollyangel17

Sounds like a solid plan. Good job, and I can sooooo empathize with the stressful in law visit!!

least

Each time you get thru stress you get stronger. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Sending strength and hugs.

ersatzmatriarch

so far, so good. i got the crazies out of my head while making the beds and talking to my sponsor... about this situation and all the other great stuff from today (really, aside from this initial reaction to MIL, i've been having a very freeing, spiritual day... so sponsor helped me get back into that!)

thank you all for the support and encouragement... it may sound dumb to some, but i can feel your strength and hope in myself, and it means so much. i am so grateful!!

now, storytime with my kids and then a meeting...

whew! take THAT my cunning alcoholic voice!!!

sassu78

That doesn't sound dumb at all...I feel like I get so much motivation and support from here. I don't give a tiny rat's a** about my drinking buddies anymore. I have my smart and understanding friends here!

Good job EM...You can do this!!

YVRguy

Sounds like you are making the right choices and a sponsor and meetings helped me stay sane in my first weeks and months of sober living. Its a huge change and we are all behind you. Like most unpleasant and uncomfortable things in life , they all come and go and this will too.

Nighthawk8820

you can do this. The great thing is, when you overcome this, your confidence will go up and the next time will be easier and so on and so on. Congrats on 8 days!!!

Deckard

Tough day, ersatz... But you are doing great, and you have what it takes to get through it!

How long is mom in town for?

ersatzmatriarch

deckard... thankfully, she's only in until about 10 this morning for this trip!

and thanks again, all. i went to bed sober last night, and woke up feeling good today... and i'm not drinking today, either!!