SoberMarathon

Back on the wagon after 6 months of fooling myself and attempting to drink socially. Nothing terrible happened during this period - fell down some stairs, had some binges with the usual side effects - just hate my self-image, hate being hungover, hate wasting money, and hate worrying about when I'll be able to get my next drink. Hope I can stick to it this time. I'm relying on a couple close friends for support. Just know that I'm tired of the 'cycle' and want to put an end to it, once and for all.

mfanch

What is your PLAN to stay sober SM?

My failure to plan was always my planning to fail. I quit many times, but with my irritability and discontent, I couldn't STAY quit and be happy. After a period of time (6mo-4yrs), I inevitably returned to drinking, and shortly thereafter, hell.

ScottFromWI

I've been on that rollercoaster before too SM. Know that you can do it, and it will definitely be worth it. Don't hope - take action and actuallly form a plan to make sure this time you stay on the wagon. That's great that you have close friends for support - have you considered a formal program like AA/AVRT or counseling/outpatient detox?

SoberMarathon

My current plan is to go on a health kick, train for another marathon (and use that as an excuse for not drinking!) and just get passed the first 30 days. I went 90+ days two years ago using the same tactic. Problem was that I thought I was 'healed' and I allowed myself to drink again. What a foolish mistake. I haven't gone more than 10 days since that stint and done some pretty foolish things along the way. I think if I can get 30-60 days under my belt, it will get easier. One day at a time I guess.

mfanch

Just be ready when "that day" comes ("I'm healed!!"). And it will come. 24-hour living, as you mentioned, helps me a lot. I can go without booze for one day.

Dee74

Welcome back SoberMarathon

not laughing, but this is what alcohol does to our perception:

Nothing terrible?
Life can get a lot better than that

D

SoberMarathon

Thanks Dee! I'm back for the long haul this time. 24hrs at a time for the moment, that's the only way I know how to approach it. 6 months ago I tried to make a big deal about quitting drinking, announced it to everyone, many of whom then convinced me I'm ok, don't have a problem, just drink too much from time to time. Fell back into the cycle after just 9-10 days. Fast forward to today, I'm on Day 2, depressed and ashamed of my inability to drink responsibly, feeling desperate to reinvent myself and change the way I perceive myself and others perceive me. Not going to announce anything except to SR community and two very close friends - unfair to tell my wife at this point because she has heard it all before. I like to run and have been inspired by people running ultra marathons and like pros in 90 degree heat. Want to be like them and celebrate with some amazing healthy power juice or something. It's gonna be tough when social opportunities come up, all summer long. Just going to have to be tough back. Is there any foolproof way o handle these situations? One drink and I'll slowly fall back off the wagon and eventually into a rehab centre, probably losing everything I have worked so hard to build and acquire. Thanks for your support and I look forward to talking with you and others regularly as we fight our demons.

Best,
SM