Michael66

Hi Weasel

You are the person you want to be. Today. Now. You often offer hope, encouragement and a smile to all of us here. You are that person. Now.

God bless you and be with you, as you bless others with your posts, with your honesty, and with your giving heart.

Weasel1966

Thank you for the kind words of support. They are never lost on me.

I wrote this morning on another thread about forgiveness. I thought about it hard last night as we sat and watched tv. Eat dinner. Went about routine. That's when my heart breaks. I love my routines. Our playfulness and attention to one another.

I just need to speak about this. Planning a walk this evening after dinner. Going to open the dialogue. See what happens. Stay true to myself. Be honest. The rest is what ever the result is.

Nonsensical

Add my name to the long list of people here who believe in you, Brother.

Nuudawn

You say you were both drinking heavily at the time. Is your partner sober now? Did sobriety for you both result due to the event. Forgive me as I am only brand new to this forum. What has been going on in the relationship in the past 5 months. I only ask as you began the thread with he hit you in December and you drank this weekend. Whether to stay or go should lie somewhere in the in between of event and drinking...no?

I too return to a "complicated" relationship...so please don't think I'm throwing stones. I'm interested in your story.

Weasel1966

Nuu... First off welcome to the SR family. A lot of good folks here.

We stayed sober for quite some time after, what we call, the event. We have both struggled recently. We tend to live in a bubble. I guess as drinkers we isolated to only bar people and so when stopped we see few interactively. So we spend a lot of time together.

He has been slow to react. No meeting. No therapy to see why. Not much except to say he won't drink. Anyone here knows no plan no sobriety. I do get help. From several places including here. Doesn't mean he is not honest in what he says. Just I need to see a bit more "work" to feel like this is taken as seriouse as it was.

Then there are aspects to how it happened and what he did to cover his tracks legally that don't sit well.

After nearly 20 years I am sad that this is where we are at. But it is. Now what I do next will be important at my age. 47.

So I am putting careful thought into it.

Nuudawn

Thank you Weasel. Wow..nearly 20 years. My heart breaks for you. You want it to work and you are trying to do the right things. You are in a difficult place if he is not willing to work with you. I'm 46 and have been wrestling with a difficult relationship for 3 years..not even a drop in a 20 year puddle. I certainly understand your frustration if he will not face the severity of what he did by getting some help...learning, growing, changing from it rather than trying to push under the carpet and carry on with a proverbial shrug of the shoulders (forgive me if I am misinterpreting here).

You are doing the right things for you and that's all we can hope to have control of. Can you forgive someone who did something so awful? Yes...but you won't forget. The greatest thing I have been trying to work on is listening to and caring for myself..not putting myself in the jeopardy I have so long...not minding my life and who I let in it. It's really, really hard. I'm very glad to make your SR aquaintance : )