Been 3 Weeks Now
Been 3 Weeks Now
& have mixed feelings ... Seems repairing things might not be as easy as I thought .. Depressed, worried about staying sober on my trip now . Not sure if i will even have a place to live when I get back Scared Hurt and dieing inside now Sorry such a Bum post for probably my last post for awhile ..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
I am sorry to hear you are feeling down august ...crapy feelings are perfectly normal in early sobriety. An old timer at an AA meeting once said to me "The best thing about sobriety are your feelings and the worst thing about sobriety are your feelings" We have to sometimes muddle through the negative to get through to the positive. Please keep in touch.
& have mixed feelings ... Seems repairing things might not be as easy as I thought .. Depressed, worried about staying sober on my trip now . Not sure if i will even have a place to live when I get back Scared Hurt and dieing inside now Sorry such a Bum post for probably my last post for awhile ..
Don't make this your last post for awhile, whatever.
I know it can be very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel
when it is all but obscured by gloom.....these are the really testing times.
Call a spade a spade, but don't dig back into that old watery grave.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, August.
Sorry to hear you are feeling depressed right now. In early sobriety emotions and mood are one hell of roller coaster.
Take one day at a time. One hour at a time. Don't look to far ahead. It will get better - be easy on yourself.
And believe me - whatever you are dealing with now in your life - you'll cope with it better when sober.
Find a way to post for often, it's important to get support at this stage.
Take care. Sending positive vibes to you.
Sorry to hear you are feeling depressed right now. In early sobriety emotions and mood are one hell of roller coaster.
Take one day at a time. One hour at a time. Don't look to far ahead. It will get better - be easy on yourself.
And believe me - whatever you are dealing with now in your life - you'll cope with it better when sober.
Find a way to post for often, it's important to get support at this stage.
Take care. Sending positive vibes to you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 291
Don't give up now, you already know what you have to do. Most of us have to hit rock bottom to climb back up. If you take sobriety one day at a time instead of dwelling on the future of gloom, you might be surprised that with each day of sobriety a fresher outlook occurs.
Good luck and keep posting.
Good luck and keep posting.
Thanx all so much for the support; but as of tomorrow when I fly out; I will not have internet access Hence when I fly back in if I find I have no place to live; I will not have internet access up here as well I am feeling very shaky about the trip and if I have to move out when I get back I have 2 options; 1 move back with my parents in which case I will more then likely drink myself to death seeing as I have been diagnosed borderline agoraphobic .. So finding a night job like I have now would be next to impossible .. and my 2nd option is go on disability and get an apartment up here where I know no one but the love of my life who wants me out It is just getting ugly for me ...
Well another notch in my "belt" so to say .. Had to take the long walk to get smokes and cash from the bank for my trip; and as much as I wanted to walk in that Packie and buy some Vodka to make it "easy" to pass out and forget life before my early flight tomorrow.. I walked on by and hit the bank then smokes then walked home .. So yay another day I guess ..
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, August.
Sorry you are going through hard times now, I understand you quite well - I''m facing real estate issues myself right now.
Anyway, no drinking yourself to death, ok? Look, we can't escape death anyway - it will wait for us at the end of our life journey. There's no use to hurry to meet it.
I know sometimes it's so hard that you don't think you'll make it. There were times I thought it would be much easier just to step out of window and end it.
Long story short - there's always hope while you are sober.
“Everything will turn out right, the world is built on that.” - I keep telling myself this when it get's hard. And there will be another day, and new hope.
Great job on turning down vodka. Vodka? Please!
Keep your chin up. Find a way to post. Feel free to pm.
More positive vibes to you -stay strong.
Sorry you are going through hard times now, I understand you quite well - I''m facing real estate issues myself right now.
Anyway, no drinking yourself to death, ok? Look, we can't escape death anyway - it will wait for us at the end of our life journey. There's no use to hurry to meet it.
I know sometimes it's so hard that you don't think you'll make it. There were times I thought it would be much easier just to step out of window and end it.
Long story short - there's always hope while you are sober.
“Everything will turn out right, the world is built on that.” - I keep telling myself this when it get's hard. And there will be another day, and new hope.
Great job on turning down vodka. Vodka? Please!
Keep your chin up. Find a way to post. Feel free to pm.
More positive vibes to you -stay strong.
Thanx MB I am a whiskey drinker by nature; but Flavored Vodka smells less & mixes w\ spring water well I am trying so hard right now .. But I just know who I am & who I have been trying to be .. If I go back to my "home town" it is over sadly I know it I just don't have the strength or will .. & yea I will finish this post in your PM Thanx again MB
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