stubbs

Hello guys,
I feel like crap.I ended up getting a few pills over the weekend.I got working on a house project yesterday and one thing led to another and I got some vicoden.
I had 11 days under my belt and threw it away.And to be honest it wasn't even really fun.So I guess jump back on the wagon and start over.

kellyrally

hey stubbs...I am in the same position as you. Had 15 days alcohol free and then drank almost a bottle, and didn't even enjoy it at all.

Back to square one...but all we can do is try again and use the slip as a reminder as to why we wanted to stop in first place.

Midlifecrisis

I did the same after 14 days. It feels disapponting but those 11 days are still meaningful. I'm day 6 after a one night slip and its nowhere near as bad as the last day 6.

stubbs

Yes I can understand that midlife.I feel I have learned something from this and I still have 11 days sober out of the last 12.I just feel disappointed in my self.Its so weird how I can go from confident Thinking I'm done to weak and giving in.Addiction is complicated.

ReadyAndAble

That was a crucial discovery for me, stubbs. I suddenly realized that the whole sense that recovery was some kind of sacrifice, that I was missing out anything good, was the biggest lie my addiction fed me.

Once I learned that lesson, it became a lot easier to resist addiction's siren song. Regret, fear, shame—that's what I was giving up. Nothing to miss about that at all.

It's great to see you getting right back on track. Nice save.

stubbs

And thank you kellyrally for the support.I wish the best for you!

Midlifecrisis

It is complicated. Really hard but we can do it.

MIRecovery

Will power is seldom enough for me it required the people I found with long-term sobriety in AA

stubbs

Thank you also readyandable,
What you just said made a lot of sense.I really did feel that way this time.I hope I can keep in that frame of mind.I haven't went 11days in like 4 years.and before that it was many many years.I have lived with a buzz for about 23 years pretty much non stop.So sobriety is truly something new to me.And I really want it to be something I embrace and enjoy more then the old buzzed up life I've come to know so well.

Hevyn

Hi stubbs. I'm glad you posted about what happened. I think it helps relieve the anxiety, & you know we all understand.

I fell back into my old drinking ways many times - but the last time I had to admit it wasn't fun or exciting - I just felt empty and disgusted with myself. I never drank again after that - I knew there would never be anything in it for me. It's hard to let go of something we've used to cope, but life is so much better lived with eyes wide open. (Yes, it's scary at first.) I was fuzzy and numb for too long - I could never go back to those sad old days. I'm glad you want a better life for yourself, stubbs. You are back on track and you'll do it this time.