coakley

I'm 30, married for 13 years in August, I have a 3 year old son, and a daughter due in late September, and I drink. I drink 5-8 shots and 2-5 beers every night when I get off work, which is late, as I deliver pizzas. I do this every night, and have done this for 5years, it didn't start out bad like this, but now I sleep until noon or later, every day, I have what I would guess to be horrible pains in my sides and upper body, and im hating this drinking thing so much, I wanna quit but something inside of me tells me to drink another shot after ive had the norm (listed above), I wanna die sometimes just so this can stop, ive had legal problems, separations, family problems, and many other consequences since I started drinking, and now it seems like I have health problems. I wanna stop NOW! is this a normal story? I have always wondered if my quick 4 hours or so of heavy•heavy drinking every night makes me an alcoholic or a person who binges, help!!! Please!

coakley

I might add, I wasn't always a pizza guy, in 2011 I made 97k in the oilfields, and then lost my job due to some stupid decision on my part @ a bar of course. I fell into the pizza thing due to a friend helping me out, also my wife left me right after the oilfield job was lost and we had a 6month separation, but of course we are back together....

Deluxe

A person who binges or an alcoholic? It's very often the same thing.

Is this a normal story? Well every story is different but the same. I hear shame, frustration and exhaustion in your post. These are very common themes when drinking alcoholically and they were certainly emotions that I felt daily. By the hour often. It's an awful way to live.

However you are not alone. We have pretty much all been in exactly the same place. There is hope and if you decide to give up drinking it definitely gets better. Day by day your perspective and power comes back. The first few days are physically tough but it gets easier and rewarding very quickly indeed.

Why not not drink for today? Just today. Tackle tomorrow tomorrow. You may consider explaining to your partner that you think you need to give up, that it will take a little time, not to expect too much to soon and that you need her help.

Man it's worth it. Believe me it's worth it.

In terms of being a pizza guy (if you're not happy doing it) then don't sweat it. Life goes up and down. Everything passes. It is amazing how quickly your life falls back into place when you give up the booze. People react differently to you, people listen to you, you see things differently, you see opportunities in places that you wouldn't otherwise look. It is very difficult to see when you are in the middle of it. Give it a go. Think about going to AA and checking it out. You may be very surprised by what happens there and what you see and hear.

Keep well and keep hanging out here.

Dee74

Hi and welcome coakley

I think a problem that leaves you in such despair is definitely something you need to address, so matter what label you give it.

I've been a binger and an all day everyday drinker...I think they're both points on the same progression anyway.

I think at basics it all starts with not drinking one day, then the next....
You'll find a lot of support here to help with that.

I recommend you think about getting a Dr involved too - you've been drinking regularly for a long time now - it's best to be safe.

D

StevenT

What I hear is that you don't want to drink, but find yourself drinking. You hate the consequences but cannot stop performing the action. In my opinion, and it is just that as only you can define yourself alcoholic and it be truth, you are alcoholic. An obsession of the mind coupled with an allergy of the body that compels you to drink and drink and drink.

I'm not going to go into the solution, quite yet anyway, because others here are doing that job just fine Just know you are not alone, we have been there and found a way out.

coakley

Should i wean off, like just 3 shots and 3 beers tomorrow night, and progressively go from the down? I can't afford a rehab, or a hospital visit, hence the pizza delivery job, no benefits, so i pay cash when i get sick

Daisy1981

Hi Coakley, I'm a binge drinker - alcoholic their the same things. I drink vast amounts and cant stop till I fall asleep often blacking out always not being able to stop. Then I have days off where I don't want to drink like its easy and a choice. Days later the thoughts are back and I'm drinking again. It's taken me a long time to believe that I am an alcoholic and ask for help. I cant do this alone and coming on here really helps. You've come to the right place. Whatever you decide binger or alcoholic or both like me the answers within you x

coakley

•there

coakley

Thanks everyone, im off to bed, I will be back tomorrow and I will need to know if it's dangerous to just quit completely or wean off, thanks!!!!

StevenT

As far as dangerous, we are actually asked not to give medical advice for legal reasons, so you will have to find that answer through your own abilities, i.e. webmd, call a doctor for advice, etc. However, the detox from alcohol has been known to be fatal. My only advice on that is call the AA hotline, if you really want to quit, and tell the person that picks up that you were told by an AA member (me) to ask an AA member in your area to help you quit and stay quit safely.

I don't know how AA works in your area, exactly, but AA is the same everywhere, essentially. People in AA *must* work with people in your position in order to stay sober. I know, it's a paradox. But it works.

Dee74

The no medical advice we have is there for peoples safety - not any legal reasons.
The safest way is to see a Dr - no question.

There are a lot of free or low cost clinics around - if there's one in your local area you might get some medical advice there?

Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
2-1-1 Call Center Search

D

hamptons

Coakley - I am 47 and have had cancer (survived) and now heart problems which have been getting worse because of drinking... I look okay but feel like a 75 year old... broken bones everywhere, bad heart papitations all the time (worse when I drink) etc etc

You are lucky to start STOPPING so young...I have been drinking since 13 and consistently since 17 with some very heavy binge moments the last 4 years

I am now 9 days clear

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Coakley I'm glad you are getting to the point of quitting now. It is a tough transition but it's definitely worth the effort. As far as definitions go, I don't think there is any definition of an alcoholic that says they have to drink all day every day. A binge drinker to me was someone who doesn't stop drinking at all for a few days/weeks but then will stop for a while, but nowadays it seems to mean people who drink heavily on a fri/sat night. I drank like you, daily but just in the evenings and at although I accepted I had serious drinking problems that I would never be able to control, I have always shied away from the alcoholic term. I don't think it is necessary to label yourself in order to fix the problem. All you can do is look back at your own drinking and be totally honest with yourself. See a doctor as soon as you can and get some support x

losteverything

It doesn't matter what you call yourself...binge drinker, problem drinker, alcoholics, whatever. If Alcohol is making problems in your life, the solution is simple: stop drinking. How you do that is your choice, there are lots of recovery methods...coming here is a great first step. Welcome, and hope to read more from you..

Nighthawk8820

Remember that all this alcohol you are pumping into you is clouding your judgement. Its got a hold on you, so as bad as things seem and as desperate as you feel, its being magnified by the alcohol consumption. If you step away from it, detox, begin to heal, you will see your problems are manageable and that you have the power and strength to turn your life around.

Thats why alcohol is so evil, it brings you down and keep you there. It alters your sense of reality. Your anxiety and depression become magnified to unmanageable levels and everything seems bleak. Once you step away from it, which is the most crucial step, you will come to realize you can change it all, and that you are capable of so much more. You have to give yourself the chance though, and no one else can do it for you. Trust me, as bad as everything seems.............it can be fixed or changed for the better, but not as long as you allow alcohol to keep you down.

Nighthawk8820

You cannot wean off, it never works for people. If we were able to control our consumption, we wouldnt be in the situations we are/were in. You have to do it cold turkey, and it wont be pleasant, but its the first step in getting yourself back, your life back, and to living a life you never knew you could have,.

Hevyn

Welcome Coakley. I'm glad you reached out for help. There are many here with a similar situation, so we all understand.

I think you should be proud for making this decision. It isn't easy at a young age. I agree with Hamptons - you're lucky to be stopping so young. You can be free of it and live a great life. I hope you'll keep posting. You can do this!

coakley

Thanks everyone for your responses, I bought my usual 10 pack of 50 ml bottles of Jim beam black, and a six pack of cheap beer after getting off work 3 hours ago and have not drank any of it, I want to quit, I took a Benadryl 50mg when I got home and am now getting very sleepy, im anxious, and scared! I will post tomorrow or whenever I wake, Benadryl usually is good for 4-5 hours of sleep with me. Thanks everyone!!!!

coakley

Well today was the first day in years I woke up at 6, because of my wife's snoring, and went to the couch and slept for another hour, woke up again at 7 and my lol man came out and crawled in with me, he said dad I love you so much and gave me a big hug, this is normal, he's almost 4, we had breakfast and spent the day at the farm working on an old Mack, he was so happy to sit in a real rig, and to end the day well, we cooked on the grill, normally I would sleep until 2 and stumble around until it was time for me to go to work at 5, today was my only day off and I didn't drink, I want to so bad, and can't sleep, but my kiddo made the 1st real day a success. Again thanks for all the advice, im feeling super desperate for a drink, and can't sleep, but im not going to do it tonight, only tonight, I don't know what tomorrow brings, one half of me wants it to bring a big bottle, and the other half wants to see what happens. Thanks!

GracieLou

Nobody knows what tomorrow brings.

One day at time. That is how it all begins. Just for today.

That is how I do it