Sobreia

Hi all,

I suffer from a condition called compulsive skin picking (dermatillomania) coupled with BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). I also have some OCD tendencies (keeping myself and the house clean and orderly).

From what I understand many people who suffer from compulsive behaviours often have problems with alcohol. Perhaps because compulsive behaviour is an anxiety controlling mechanism of sorts, and an expression of a critical self that is hard to cope with. In my case, alcohol became a temporary escape from anxiety and high demands. Only to make these worse in the end.

Been sober for 34 days, feeling more stable in general, but the compulsive behaviours have become worse. Wondering if someone else has any similar experience? I just started treatment with an SSRI medication for the anxiety and compulsive skin picking and a new round of CBT therapy. Am desperate to find help, have been suffering from this for 18 years.

2granddaughters

Attend a few "open" AA meetings in your neighbourhood. Listen to the speakers there. You will be able to identify with many of them and will likely hear your story told often.

You may just find the answer to "what ails ya" in the rooms of AA.

All the best.

Bob R

Sobreia

Thank you Bob for your kind answer. I haven't attended any AA meetings yet, but am planning to. Would be great to be able to discuss obsessive compulsive behaviours with people with similar experience. At the moment I feel quite alone...

SoberForMySon

I don't pick my skin, but I have OCD. Yes it's worse when I'm sober! You're not alone at all. Keep talking to your doctor and maybe someone here can suggest a good book. But you're not alone!

Sobreia

Thank you for your kind response! How does your OCD express itself? Have you found any ways of handling it and resisting the urges/impulses? I feel constantly restless, finding it hard to concentrate on things (apart from the skin picking...) I can't seem to divert my mind, not even with things I enjoy, like playing the piano, drawing etc... Think more exercise might be helpful, release some stress and built up tension and anxiety...

Scott6433

Sobreia I started pretty young. Obsessing in the mirror as a teen for years picking...only making things worse of course. When I was about 25. I would sit Indian style on my bathroom sink in my apartment "searching" for ingrown hairs on my neck as I was completely convinced and had recurring dreams that a network of them existed underneath my skin. Hours...and I mean 6 to 8 hours were speant in the same position with a pair of tweezers in one hand and a dental pick that I got from a drug store to pull these things (this network) out from it's very core. My wardrobe obviously started growing with mock neck shirts and sweaters to hide what I had done not to mention the obsession was so intense that after sitting in this position for that amount of time my legs had gone numb and I pretty much couldn't walk haha. Ingrown hairs were my thing. Zits, being skinny, constantly judging myself and picking at anything I perceived imperfect on my body. Still do it...but in my experience it does get better. For me personally, my Mom used to "pick blackheads" off my back when I was young despite me begging her not to. It hurt like Hell and I hated it so I'm still not certain if that has something to do with it. She didn't pay a terrible amount of attention to me so who knows. Any who...your not alone. Promise. Keep a close eye on those SSRIs. The first couple weeks can be tricky. Be very aware of your mind and body and reach out any time you need please. Sorry I keep editing this...OCD haha...I too play the piano....didn't work for me either...I just know for me personally it changed a bit and I wish I could tell you how? I think it just gets old once you realize the insanity of it. Exercise is not a bad idea. Any time you get an impulse do a bunch of crunces or pushups instead. You would be surprised at how quickly your brain can adapt to new behavior.

SoberForMySon

I am restless and pace constantly. I also can't focus to watch TV or read or draw anymore. I'm also looking for answers!!!! Maybe we can help each other. So far the best answer I have is to force myself to chat online, read, or watch a show, and hope I actually end up enjoying it! Got to break my habits. I was also a cutter.

SereneEdition

Hi Sobreia -

It takes a while for the brain chemistry to re-balance & things can flair while the body is under stress. When I first stopped alcohol, I noticed my addictive/compulsive behavior spread to other activities. It has gotten better with time.

Doubling down on support and putting effort into recovery sounds like a great plan.

Sobreia

Thank you very much Scott for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear you are suffering from this condition, but glad it got better. I too have spent whole days in front of the mirror, picking and using tweezers. What adds to the anxiety is the fact that I actually had very nice skin to begin with, but after years of picking and treating it harshly I am left with rough texture and scars. I feel a lot of remorse for not being able to stop and causing more damage, which paradoxically leads to even more picking. I started the SSRI only three days ago, so too soon to notice any difference.

It seems self-criticism, perfectionism and high demands are common traits for compulsive skin pickers... Also it is highly hereditary, my Dad had severe OCD, my grandmother was a picker, so is my aunt and my sister...

Have you found any distractions or more healthy substitutes for your skin picking? At the moment I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything apart from picking... I feel more stable since I quit alcohol, but the impulse to pick has increased significantly.

Sobreia

I am very sorry to hear you are suffering from this. I'd be very happy to try to help in any way that I can. As I mentioned I just started treatment with SSRI (cypralex), which is to be combined with CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I too find that chatting online distracts me, SR has been very helpful in this respect.

I have also tried some Mindfulness meditation, it is hard to concentrate and relax at first but I have found a CD which is very nice (Mindfulness for beginners with Jon Kabat-Zinn, his voice is very soothing!) I find that exercise helps, especially swimming. But often feel too self conscious to be in that kind of environment, having picked my skin raw... It is hard to break the vicious circle, I know what is good for me, but find it hard to do these things when in the grips of the compulsive behaviour.

Perhaps we could try to commit to 24 hours of no compulsive behaviours together?

Sobreia

Thank you Serene for your kind answer. How long have you been sober? When did you notice the addictive/compulsive behaviours getting better? Did you try medication, therapy or any other treatment? Do you have any advice on how to resist the impulses? Sorry for all the questions...

ImperfectlyMe

Have you tried Bio Feedback type therapy? Ask your therapist. I have someone very close to me who suffered/s with OCD and this was a very helpful practice.

Sobreia

Thank you for your response ImperfectlyMe! Never heard of biofeedback therapy, just googled it and it seems very interesting. As obsessive compulsive behaviours are the result of heightened levels of stress and anxiety this seems like a very good therapy as you train more healthy coping mechanisms and how to decrease stress and anxiety. I will ask my therapist about it!