Need Advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 122
Need Advice
Hello,
I am a friend (and now a member of the SR site). I have been a little over 9 months sober until last Sunday. I have been on a 4 day binge, and now sobering up. This site helped immensely 9 months ago as a guest, you've got my full attention now. My sobriety had been doing very well, and have been in a rocky relationship for 4 years. Divorced 4 years ago after over 20 years of marriage to a very caring partner who was supportive of my recovery. I had stayed sober for 10 years in that marriage, that is not the reason for the divorce. Life around me got to be to much last Sunday. The woman I have been with for 4 years became very abusive verbally, and that coupled with other "life" issues, I felt the old urges to drink. I fought it for hours, thought about the withdrawal, the guilt of letting myself down, the trouble I would get into, nothing helped. I drank. I am now going through the shakes, terrible sweats, confusion, insomnia....been here before.
I joined as a member because I need help getting through anything like that again. It started as I totally doubted myself (due to the way i was being treated and spoken to...which opened old wounds). Was it PAWS sneaking up on me after 9 months? I am dedicated to getting back on track. How much damage have I done after 9 months sober? I am leaving the relationship behind me, I should have done that long ago. By the way, I drank periodically (2-3 months between binges) for the first 3 years of that relationship. I have a lot of guilt about the divorce, the marriage was the best years of my life, hands down.
Thank You.
I am a friend (and now a member of the SR site). I have been a little over 9 months sober until last Sunday. I have been on a 4 day binge, and now sobering up. This site helped immensely 9 months ago as a guest, you've got my full attention now. My sobriety had been doing very well, and have been in a rocky relationship for 4 years. Divorced 4 years ago after over 20 years of marriage to a very caring partner who was supportive of my recovery. I had stayed sober for 10 years in that marriage, that is not the reason for the divorce. Life around me got to be to much last Sunday. The woman I have been with for 4 years became very abusive verbally, and that coupled with other "life" issues, I felt the old urges to drink. I fought it for hours, thought about the withdrawal, the guilt of letting myself down, the trouble I would get into, nothing helped. I drank. I am now going through the shakes, terrible sweats, confusion, insomnia....been here before.
I joined as a member because I need help getting through anything like that again. It started as I totally doubted myself (due to the way i was being treated and spoken to...which opened old wounds). Was it PAWS sneaking up on me after 9 months? I am dedicated to getting back on track. How much damage have I done after 9 months sober? I am leaving the relationship behind me, I should have done that long ago. By the way, I drank periodically (2-3 months between binges) for the first 3 years of that relationship. I have a lot of guilt about the divorce, the marriage was the best years of my life, hands down.
Thank You.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 122
Thank You SFMS,
I am still trying to learn to navigate the posts. I do need advice from people going through what I just did. I was really feeling good about 9 months sober, and then threw it all away with one drink.....that lasted four days. I am back on track now, but will need the support, advice, wisdom of those who have done it.
Thank You.
I am still trying to learn to navigate the posts. I do need advice from people going through what I just did. I was really feeling good about 9 months sober, and then threw it all away with one drink.....that lasted four days. I am back on track now, but will need the support, advice, wisdom of those who have done it.
Thank You.
to the posting side of SR! 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi BlueSkiesAhead 
PAWs is pretty specific.
PAWS | Digital Dharma
I think you just fell into one of the many traps a recovery alcoholic can fall into, and you reached for the bottle instead of deciding to do something else.
I think all of us has a story like that.
The thing is to be vigilant for that, and have other support, solutions and coping measures in place, I think
D
PAWs is pretty specific.
PAWS | Digital Dharma
I think you just fell into one of the many traps a recovery alcoholic can fall into, and you reached for the bottle instead of deciding to do something else.
I think all of us has a story like that.
The thing is to be vigilant for that, and have other support, solutions and coping measures in place, I think
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 122
Hello D,
Thank You for your response. I had not been sober for that long (9 months) since my divorce 4 years ago, and I felt so good, that's why I am so baffled at why I used instead of toughing it out. I needed to make a simple phone call or just take care of myself. I will put those coping measures in place going forward. I am so grateful for sobriety, it is so precious.
Thank You.
Thank You for your response. I had not been sober for that long (9 months) since my divorce 4 years ago, and I felt so good, that's why I am so baffled at why I used instead of toughing it out. I needed to make a simple phone call or just take care of myself. I will put those coping measures in place going forward. I am so grateful for sobriety, it is so precious.
Thank You.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi BlueSkies,
Welcome!
I'm glad you're here and that you know what you need to do. It sounds like you learned a lot from this relapse. As you said, the next time you will be prepared to act differently.
Welcome!
I'm glad you're here and that you know what you need to do. It sounds like you learned a lot from this relapse. As you said, the next time you will be prepared to act differently.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 122
Hello Anna,
I have been good to myself today. Good food, fresh air, even some exercise outside. I am still very shaky, and the sweats are starting again. I know I will again not sleep well, and did I mention the sweats? I have indeed learned a lot from this. I am very appreciative for everyone here.
Thank You.
I have been good to myself today. Good food, fresh air, even some exercise outside. I am still very shaky, and the sweats are starting again. I know I will again not sleep well, and did I mention the sweats? I have indeed learned a lot from this. I am very appreciative for everyone here.
Thank You.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
So glad u r back. You' ll get it back. At least u r back and didn't stay out for longer and haven't faced any legal consequences. If anything it will reinforce that you can't drink sociably. We will never be like other people in that respect. Don't beat yourself up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 122
I am looking forward to tomorrow. I am not looking forward to tonight though. Very sweaty, and I am not tired at all, it will be a long night. I have consumed a lot of water today, and eaten well.
Thank You Everyone.
Thank You Everyone.
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