Boredom, my first relapse, and getting through this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 54
Boredom, my first relapse, and getting through this.
This time last month, I tried and I failed. I lasted 9 days without a hint of an opiate. On the 6th day of having 0 sleep at all. I took a benzo and finally slept. I continued that for the next 3 days, until eventually I fell into the "I'm so bored, I can just do it this weekend" trap. I was doing so well too. I felt better, I noticed things that I had been missing, etc etc. I don't work Friday through Monday. So I made it through Friday, but the boredom just ate away at me.
Now I'm 3 weeks post relapse still using, and still hating the fact that I relapsed. It was my first attempt to quit but my mindset was so solid, I thought I had it. There were no cravings at all. I felt terrible for 3 days, then I had no energy for the rest but my mindset was always strong. For these past 3 weeks, I've used...yet everyday, every hour, I sit and try to think of things I'm going to do to occupy my time. Making a plan I guess. But my slate is blank.
I want to stay clean but I know that I will never ever be able to do it until I can cure the boredom issue. I read on here all of the typical responses read a book, go for a walk, play video games, listen to music, etc...But I'll be honest, I walked about 20 minutes before I was tired and bored, I try to read but I''m bored by page 5, I'm bored with video games before the game even loads! Friends are pretty much out of the picture because they are users, I'm single, live in a small town; so I get very lonely...even though I used to enjoy my alone time A LOT all throughout my sober life.
Is this normal? I guess had I not been awake for 6 straight days then some of this stuff would have been appealing, I don't know. Are you guys forcing yourself to do these things whether they are fun or not?
Will I ever be able to do this with so much free time?
Now I'm 3 weeks post relapse still using, and still hating the fact that I relapsed. It was my first attempt to quit but my mindset was so solid, I thought I had it. There were no cravings at all. I felt terrible for 3 days, then I had no energy for the rest but my mindset was always strong. For these past 3 weeks, I've used...yet everyday, every hour, I sit and try to think of things I'm going to do to occupy my time. Making a plan I guess. But my slate is blank.
I want to stay clean but I know that I will never ever be able to do it until I can cure the boredom issue. I read on here all of the typical responses read a book, go for a walk, play video games, listen to music, etc...But I'll be honest, I walked about 20 minutes before I was tired and bored, I try to read but I''m bored by page 5, I'm bored with video games before the game even loads! Friends are pretty much out of the picture because they are users, I'm single, live in a small town; so I get very lonely...even though I used to enjoy my alone time A LOT all throughout my sober life.
Is this normal? I guess had I not been awake for 6 straight days then some of this stuff would have been appealing, I don't know. Are you guys forcing yourself to do these things whether they are fun or not?
Will I ever be able to do this with so much free time?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I was easily bored too. Comes naturally from years of instant gratification I think.
Volunteering in my community was really good for me - it was something to do, something meaningful and useful - it helped other people...and it helped me too.
I really needed to get out of my own head, y'know?
D
Volunteering in my community was really good for me - it was something to do, something meaningful and useful - it helped other people...and it helped me too.
I really needed to get out of my own head, y'know?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: indiana
Posts: 214
You are not Alone,I am 9 days into sobriety and I am extremely bored also.I have forced myself to do a few things and I get a hint of enjoyment out of it but that's about it.What I can gather from all the great people on this site is it will go away with time.I think it is a matter of completely changing your outlook on life.Somewhat of a paradigm shift in your thinking.Stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I find myself very bored in sobriety. I go to my job, which I hate, then come home to sit alone in my apartment. Drinking always filled in the down-time and I still haven't found something to replace it. However, I think it's normal for addicts to readjust to life. I had to learn to live without alcohol and a significant other at the same time, which is just leaves me alone with my sober thoughts. Hang in there!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I responded to a similar post from a bored alcoholic. I'll quote it here because it applies to you as well, just replace drinking with drugging.
When you quit drinking, withdrawals manifest themselves in a numbers of ways. Anxiety and discontent are among the ways. I think we often confuse the discontent of early recovery as boredom, because our brain know that drinking will relieve the "boredom" of not drinking.
Drinking is not an activity, but it sure makes not doing anything productive more tolerable. There are hundreds of things to do to distract you from drinking. Find one. But a hobby won't keep you sober. Recovery will.
Good luck.
When you quit drinking, withdrawals manifest themselves in a numbers of ways. Anxiety and discontent are among the ways. I think we often confuse the discontent of early recovery as boredom, because our brain know that drinking will relieve the "boredom" of not drinking.
Drinking is not an activity, but it sure makes not doing anything productive more tolerable. There are hundreds of things to do to distract you from drinking. Find one. But a hobby won't keep you sober. Recovery will.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
How bout an AA/NA meeting? I love um. Wasn't bored anymore, made friends, found fun things to do with people just like me who were trying to stay way from a drink and a drug. Great support and good friends. Same people we drank with, same people we drugged with, We just don't anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 54
Is this something EVEYONE goes through in the beginning? Like I said I was doing pretty well, but my energy levels would fluctuate from feeling like doing something all day, to just crashing all at once and looking for the couch.
I thought about just writing an hour by hour schedule of my life, and actually follow it. That's the only way I can think to get some sort of control back. Has anyone ever tried this? thoughts?
I thought about just writing an hour by hour schedule of my life, and actually follow it. That's the only way I can think to get some sort of control back. Has anyone ever tried this? thoughts?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
What kind of control are you trying to get back?
I found that volunteer work saved my soul in the early days. Ironically, I thought I had something to offer to help out, and it turned out that what I was given by the people I worked with, was beyond measure. I finally felt that I was doing something of value.
I found that volunteer work saved my soul in the early days. Ironically, I thought I had something to offer to help out, and it turned out that what I was given by the people I worked with, was beyond measure. I finally felt that I was doing something of value.
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