CarpeDiem11

I feel a sense of nervousness I guess because I have actually signed up to be a member and post. Acceptance that I really do have a problem. I don't drink daily, but once I do have a drink it turns into 8, 9, 10. I've been this way as far back as I can remember. Probably starting in Jr High. I'm now 42. I started researching how to stop binge drinking this morning and came across this site. Decided what do I have to lose by signing up? Just reading posts with people with similar issues has me feeling energized and motivated. Less alone. I have quit for weeks at a time and I inevitably think that I have conquered the beast and should be able to learn moderation. Slowly but surely I end up binge drinking again. I have two beautiful young daughters that are impressionable. My daughter keeps telling me she isn't going to let me have wine if I don't behave. Really? It's time to stop. I love my husband and daughters too much to continue this vicious cycle. And bottom line, I love MYSELF too much to continue on this path. I'm glad I've found this forum. It's the first day of the rest of my life.

Dee74

I'm glad you've found us too CarpeDiem11 - you'll find a lot of friends and support here

welcome

D

kellyrally

Welcome I find this site very helpful and inspirational to stay sober (only on day 14 here though!). I was also a bad binge drinker - definitely a good idea to stop!

ScottFromWI

Welcome CD. Glad you made this decision, you wont' regret it one bit. It will not be easy, but the work to get sober will be well worth it. Do you plan on using the forum here as your sole recovery tool or anything local? There are folks here who use everything from AA to just the SR forum.

Best of luck and don't be a stranger - you've made a big step today!

GracieLou

to SR. You will find lots of support here!

CarpeDiem11

Thank you so much for the support. I think this avenue will be a great one for me. I've tossed around AA a few times. My best friend and fellow binge drinker quit drinking a year ago so I have support there, and she is very supportive of me getting sober as well. I really think I can get through this without AA, but if I find that isn't the case I won't hesitate to try it. thanks again for all of the support. I do have a slightly nervous energy and hear that voice in my head "You just need to learn moderation"... I'm supposed to be going out to dinner with the hubby Saturday and I'm thinking dinner without wine? Date night without wine? We'll see how it goes! When I went sober for 6 weeks last time I was met with a lot of negativity from my neighbors who make light of me saying I have a problem. I really hope they respect me this time around and don't continue to tell me I'm ridiculous while trying to shove liquor down my throat. If they weren't my neighbors I'd tell them to go kick rocks.

FeenixxRising

If not for yourself, do it for your children. My father was a chronic binge drinker, and my mother enabled him, and I knew from a very young age he had a problem. I'm still dealing with some of the baggage leftover from his drinking (but, now that I have my own issues, I understand it better).

Bottom line, be honest with yourself. I can say with 100% certainty that your daughters will be affected by your drinking. To what degree, I don't know, but if you continue, you will put them through pain. I'm not trying to be mean, I just know how it feels to have a parent with a substance problem.

You will find a lot of support here if you decide you want to stop. And if you do that, your daughters will be very proud and happy for the steps you've taken to deal with the issue.

RevivingOphelia

I was 42 when I seriously reconsidered my drinking habits and joined this site.

Like you, it wasn't every night but about every third. It was wine. At least two bottles on a binge night. I got to the point where I was obsessing about it at work (can I? should I?) and to where I could barely cope with the excruciating hangovers and debilitating anxiety that came in the wake of a binge.

I've reached seven months of sobriety at this point. My anxiety meds have been reduced, and I cannot tell you the quiet joy of going to bed sober and waking up without a pounding headache, racing heart, and overwhelming anxiety.

This site is incredibly helpful -- logging in and reading (which I do frequently!) helps me to stay on the right track.

Good luck to you.

CarpeDiem11

I'm 100% ready to stop drinking. I know my eldest (7) is definitely at the age that she is putting it together. I'm not sure how it's possible, but I can drink A LOT and somehow still act very sober. Half the time my friends and husband don't even realize how drunk I am when I bring it up later. Even my friends that don't drink will say they didn't even realize I had that much and that's on a night that is really fuzzy for me memory wise. I'm hoping if I stop now that my daughters haven't seen me 'act' drunk enough to remember it. That's why I'm so motivated to stop now. For them, and to not have to wake up with all the dread of what did I do last night? Did my children notice? Did my husband realize how much I drank? He knows that I drink too much. We have talked about it, but in all honesty I can sneak drinks without him noticing. He knows that I want to quit and he is very supportive. We will be having a heart to heart about this tonight. That's what is strange. I know I have this problem, yet it hasn't affected my home life that bad...YET. Key word YET. I want to stop the problem before it does, because let's face it, it's just a matter of time. Thanks for reading my story and for your support. It's amazing how just knowing you aren't alone makes such a huge difference.

fulminouscherub

Welcome, CarpeDiem11!

I dithered for 25 years about quitting. When the pain and regret finally reached the activation threshold, I quit. 5 years later (next week), my life is much, much better.

AA has been very helpful for me in this regard. I want to thrive in sobriety and AA is where the experts are.

ImperfectlyMe

Welcome carpe you will find so much support here! I haven't drank in over 7 weeks and I was a wine worshiping momma of two daughters 7 and 4. We have a mins group if you want to jump in at anytime!!!

Best of luck to you

sadsoul2011

Welcome! I'm a fellow mom and I understand your feelings. My kids are a little older than yours'. I've been flirting with sobriety off and on for a couple of years - once I even went 6 months. My relapse stemmed from the thought of moderation. It is a crazy thought!!!!

But I'm back at it and already I feel so much better and hopeful for the future. Like you - I haven't done anything horrible YET! I plan to keep it that way. I really want my kids to respect me!

You may want to check out the Moms Thread in the Daily Support Threads:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

Lots of moms that understand and offer super support and advice!

You can do this!

Grungehead

Welcome CD I'm glad you found us!

Moderation

That word is the downfall of many, many alcoholics. I was told I must smash any idea of ever being able to moderate my drinking. I had many years of practicing moderation with poor results. Sometimes I could do it for a week or a month, but eventually I returned to uncontrolled drinking. It's one of those things where a normal drinker doesn't even have to think about yet an alcoholic like me is baffled that I can't do it.

Bruce292

Welcome! I too am unable to drink in moderation. Once I start I just can't stop. I've tried over and over to "take a break" and then attempt to drink normally. It never ever worked. You're not alone here! There are many people here who have the same issue. I've found this site invaluable in my recovery and sobriety. Keep posting and Thank You for posting.

Hope4Life

I'm glad you have found us because there is no time like the present. Please put in the effort to stop now before something bad happens. It sounds like you have a loving husband and 2 precious little girls who need you and they need you sober.

As far as the neighbors or friends who drink go, you may need to make some hard decisions to accomplish your goal of sobriety. The bottom line is the most important factor is YOU and if getting sober means making new friends or setting boundaries with your current friends, then eventually you need to do that. If people are making fun of you or talking behind your back, are they really friends?

I had to redefine what a true friend meant to me a few years ago and it has helped me realize that my drinking buddies were not true friends. Misery loves company and drinkers prefer drinkers because they feel threatened by a non drinkers sobriety.

You can do this and the good folks here at SR can help. Have a good talk with your husband tonight and be honest with him. Hiding your feelings will only complicate the situation more.

Hevyn

Great to meet you, CarpeDiem! It's great that you've reached out for help and support.

This is an amazing place that helped me quit after drinking all my life. I felt so much better knowing I wasn't alone. I was only going to read a few posts when I first joined, but it's going on 6 years and I never left. I hope you'll find what you're looking for here.

Tippingpoint

Welcome CD11!

It can be done and life can be fantastic without alcohol. I was not unlike you and signed up here nearly two years ago - my 2 year anniversary is two weeks from now.

It isn't easy and everyone's path is different but I know that this a a great place to start!

GracieLou

This is really good. It is nice to have a person you can speak with face to face. Does your friend go to AA?

It sounds like you hang around the neighbors quite a bit if you feel their opinion of you is so important. Are these people true friends or just neighbors?

I ask this cause the other day there was a discussion sort of like this situation. And the person suggested asking yourself if you moved would you still contact these people? Do you have enough in common that you would associate if you were not neighbors?

I am not suggesting you ditch the neighbors but to be honest of how important they really are in your life and your decision to become sober.

CarpeDiem11

"It sounds like you hang around the neighbors quite a bit if you feel their opinion of you is so important. Are these people true friends or just neighbors?"

Not sure if I am doing this replying thing right? LOL...
My girlfriend went to AA once. She didn't really like it. We have both been able to cut back in the past and we've both been really honest about wanting to slow down or stop. We have just never been to the place where we were really ready to quit. She got diagnosed with epilepsy due to her drinking so it pretty much scared her straight. We've both never been at this place where we really are ready to quit and things are much different now. We've been drinking buddies for 20+ years. As far as the neighbors go. No, we aren't the best of friends. I had to get a bit aggressive the last time I hung out with them when I went on the wagon for 6 weeks. If they give me any flack this time I have no problem telling them I just can't hang out with them. I don't really care what they think. The problem I had was them laughing at me when I said I had a problem. I had to be brutally honest and tell them how bad the drinking was getting and they still didn't seem to 'get it'. It really changed the dynamics and we really didn't hang out for a long time. To be honest my neighbor is just a bit strange. Very opinionated so frankly I expect it from them. At one point I just asked myself, "Jeez, who's the one with the drinking problem?". They might be worse off then me if that respect someone who's sitting right in front of them admitting they have a problem. So ya, if we end up not being friendly over it it's their loss. We have kids the same age and have lots in common. They would just be losing a good neighbor over it simply because I won't throw back cocktails with them. LAME.

IslaLuna

Hi Carpe...
Well done on admitting you have a problem. My eldest child is around the same age as yours, and one of the things that got me sober was not wanting him to be embarrassed by me or to have to worry about me. I am a much better Mum without a hangover...I enjoy time with my children instead of counting the hours until they (and me!) can go to bed. I am in AA, and something people share a lot is how their drinking affected their children. Regarding your neighbours, I have found that getting sober sometimes makes other people feel defensive and insecure about their own drinking habits. Or that there is a school of thought that says you can't have fun without alcohol. My real friends have been supportive and amazing...they choose not to drink around me and are proud of me. If someone does not want the best for you then they are not a friend IMO. Good luck!