pennylane2009

I posted this on the women's only thread but didn't get too many responses, and since my witching hour is coming up I thought I'd try again:

Hi all ... I recently stopped drinking, again, after being sober for a year a couple years back. I started drinking and had it under control for a while, but now things are slipping out of control again and I'm trying to quit again. My last drink was Sunday.

Anyway, the weekdays have been kind of tough for me. I'm realizing I turn to alcohol in the evening after work to make the drudgery of feeding the kids, cleaning the kitchen and getting them all to bed more pleasant. Actually, I don't really do most of those things. I kind of hide in my computer or iPhone while juggling those tasks, and when the kids get overwhelming I will literally just go in the bathroom and sit there for a while.

The house is a mess, there are tons of things that could be done every day, but I just hide. I know I need to get a handle on this to be a better mom and person, but I honestly don't even know where to begin.

My husband often works late hours and isn't home for dinner. When he's home, things are usually much, much better. But when I'm by myself with the kids, I really struggle. It's actually gotten worse now that the weather is warm, because the kids go outside and I have no idea what to do with myself.

I need to figure this out because it's a big part of my drinking pattern.

Dee74

You could do worse than sit here, or go into the chat room, or blog.
Also think about changing your routine - why not take the kids to the park or for a walk?

You may have tried this before but this technique was useful for me
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

It helped me to remember I was in control - not the booze, not your cravings and not any witching hour.

I was not the helpless victim before the might of some behemoth.

I had to believe I had the power to make better choices.

The worst thing that can happen is a little discomfort for a little while Penny - and that will get better.

D

Marcher13

Pennylane it sounds to me like you're caught in a circle -- the stuff is there to do, you're hiding from doing it, then you feel guilty, thoughts of drinking creep in, you hide some more.

Why don't you make a short list of things you must do when you get home and then another short list of things for later in the evening, make it achievable and then when it's done reward yourself in a positive way. As Dee said: time online, time outside now it's summer.

Michelangelo

Loneliness, perhaps?

sadsoul2011

Hugs to you! I know exactly what you are talking about! Been there done that! Drinking always seemed to make my mundane evenings seem exciting and 'sparkly'. For a few minutes anyway -- though I never really got much done and the evening usually dissolved into a pity party for myself. 'Poor me with all this housework and kid stuff to do.'

Of course, then you add all the 'mom guilt' the next day and a really vicious cycle is all set up and spinning.

You can jump off and find a happy sober life - I know you can - you're here!

You may want to check out the Mom's 2013 Support Thread:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

There is a great group of women that would have some truly sound advice and support for you. I just joined and I'm inspired by them all.

Welcome to SR!

bigsombrero

Hi penny - been there, done that, and still struggle with it plenty. Sometimes looking at the big picture (money, family, jobs) can be so overwhelming that it's tough to even know where to start.

What really helped me in the early going was NOT to make lists - to me that "to-do" list got too overwhelming. However, I DID make a list of a different kind - a list of things I'd accomplished. I took a good ole' fashioned wall calendar, hung it on the wall in the kitchen, and wrote down every single small accomplishment each day. In the beginning it was hard for me to even leave the house - so when I wrote "went to Joe's Cafe" on the calendar, it was actually quite a big deal. I'd DONE something. I continued to write down things "went to grocery store", "met Bill for coffee", etc. On days where I didnt' do anything, I'd write a big "X".

Pretty soon, the calendar got full - and it was a great visual reminder to see my progress each day. It was a small start, but it helped me be accountable to myself - it got to the point where I needed to have something on that calendar each day, it was a goal of mine!

I hope my suggestion helps, but even if it doesn't please remember we're here to support you. Best wishes in these tough days.