Lost a friend today, can't sleep
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Lost a friend today, can't sleep
My friend died tragically today. And I certainly do not want to make this about me..his family and other friends are also feeling the loss 
I keep going through my mind the way he died. It's so terrible I can't imagine the pain he went through. I am truly disturbed by it. After I got the calls tonight I wished I still drank. How selfish is that? I just don't like these feelings or my mind running at top speed. And again, I know it's not all about me. I won't drink. I don't deal with things that way anymore. But I sure am sad
I keep going through my mind the way he died. It's so terrible I can't imagine the pain he went through. I am truly disturbed by it. After I got the calls tonight I wished I still drank. How selfish is that? I just don't like these feelings or my mind running at top speed. And again, I know it's not all about me. I won't drink. I don't deal with things that way anymore. But I sure am sad 
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
My condolences on the loss of your friend quitforme. One thing we get back when we get sober are our feelings, unfortunately that includes grief, sadness and pain. I'm glad you didn't drink, it would have only masked these feelings but they would still be there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,443
My heart goes out to you and the family of your friend... I am so sorry for your loss.
So glad you chose not to drink; I don't think it's selfish at all for that thought to have crossed your mind. I'm an alcoholic, it would have crossed my mind too!
As we all know here, it only would have made the pain bigger.
Love from all of us to help you heal. ♥♥
Venus xx
So glad you chose not to drink; I don't think it's selfish at all for that thought to have crossed your mind. I'm an alcoholic, it would have crossed my mind too!
As we all know here, it only would have made the pain bigger.
Love from all of us to help you heal. ♥♥
Venus xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm also glad to hear that you aren't going to drink over it. I did that once, and all it did was prolong the grief and I also had to deal with the shame of getting wasted rather than deal with it.
Grief is hard, it takes time, but we are all here to walk through it with you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Grief is hard, it takes time, but we are all here to walk through it with you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Thanks for all the love guys. My friend didn't have it so easy in life and was bound by his many mental health and physical issues. I have been sitting here thinking about how he is at peace now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
I truly feel your pain....each month I see alcoholics and addicts pass away...and in Alanon I've known people who have died....just feel sad and angry...own your feelings...grieve...like I'm telling this to myself
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Sorry for your loss but remember there is nothing a drink won't make worse. If possible reach out to another alcoholic. In times of stress I'm not allowed in my head without adult supervision.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Well said MIR. I have been in touch by phone w my sponser & other AA peeps. Can't wait to get to a meeting later. Not because I'm craving a drink, I just want to be around friends. Now that's a new healthy coping skill I didn't have before 
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by quitforme79 
Well said MIR. I have been in touch by phone w my sponser & other AA peeps. Can't wait to get to a meeting later. Not because I'm craving a drink, I just want to be around friends. Now that's a new healthy coping skill I didn't have before
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
My father died in a plane crash 3 months into my sobriety. Sitting here now at 1 year, taking a drink would have been one of the worst decisions I could have made 9 months ago. My father would still be gone and I would have never been able to come to terms with it in a drunken state. Drinking is the last thing you want to do.
My condolences.
My condolences.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
That's awful, Quitforme. Of course you were shaken by that unexpected news.
I like what you said, 'I don't deal with things that way anymore.' It takes some time to finally realize drinking won't comfort us or make anything better. The pain will still be there when we sober up, and we haven't dealt with our grief - except to get temporarily numb. I know you get that - and I'm proud of you.
I like what you said, 'I don't deal with things that way anymore.' It takes some time to finally realize drinking won't comfort us or make anything better. The pain will still be there when we sober up, and we haven't dealt with our grief - except to get temporarily numb. I know you get that - and I'm proud of you.
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