RRenda

Anyone ever experienced anything like this??

I could get sloppy drunk or just tipsy and the ONLY issue that comes to the surface is my girlfriend's past. Nothing else, nada. It's ruined two relationships already and I can't figure for how that is the only issue. Considering how long I've been drinking and the different types of alcohol it's remained consistently the only issue. I become belligerent and hostile about her/their past relationships. More to the point, unable to cope with the sexual aspects of them. Solid jealously, but I have no hints as to where they could have come from. Anyone?

Mizzuno

No. I do not know where this comes from. Its her past, leave it there. She is with you, and there is no need for jealousy or anger. It may be an insecurity.

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR.

Is this an issue when you are sober? Hmmmm.

RRenda

Closest I can come is some kind of state of mind regarding a "princess" complex in my perceptions of their actions. Like a "how could you with that guy" kind of thing. Which has only lead me to consider my own inability to grasp the idea of regarding emotional attachment and physical attraction, or to differentiate the two.

Actually to clarify, again it only seems to be an issue when I'm drunk.

doggonecarl

Well, you are on a recovery site. We can help if you would like to make sobriety your goal.

Mizzuno

Well, if you decided to stop drinking, this insecurity would be left behind along with the drunken behavior.

RRenda

Sobriety has become a goal for my own self-improvement, but I'm finding it intriguing to figure on where these issues are coming from if alcohol is indeed bringing out these deep-seeded issues. I don't want to perceive being sober as almost a circular form of medicating a deeper issue.

While this issue is mine and mine alone to ultimately conquer, I was wondering if and how other alcoholics have self-analyzed themselves in maybe trying to find out why they are only issues when they are drunk. Or what their issue was when alcoholic and what they were able to see it as while sober. Like seeing a wolf blurry when your drunk, not knowing what it was, but seeing it for what it was when sober.

By the way I hail from Virginia too haha.

Mizzuno

This seems slightly esoteric to me. I understand, but i am not fully grasping as to why this is of such importance. I spent many a drunk nights doing things and saying things that may or may not be deeper issues. I can assure you, I am functioning a lot better than I was while drinking. I am not trying to figure out my behaviors as much as I am trying to stop the bad behaviors from surfacing again. I am two different people under the influence. I do not know that person, and no one else needs to encounter her.

RRenda

I understand, but I feel like I have to know what is truly inside me.

Mizzuno

So, how about a psychologist? I am sure that a professional can get down to the root of this matter. I understand the wanting to understand.

GracieLou

Well if this issue comes up when you are drunk then it is there when you are not drunk.

Alcohol lowers our inhibitions so my guess is when you get drunk you are more open to expressing you true feelings.

I know I wallowed in many self pity and anger parties when I was drunk.

pawsgal

It's hard to pinpoint what's really going on in the psyche of a drunk. my last night drinking, I just sat on the floor and stared at the little dots I had tattooed on my hands in my teens. Just sat there staring at my hands. Imagine how nutty that would look in public! Since sobering up, I kindof wonder why I was doing that, maybe I was thinking about my past. No clue. But it was a stupid way to spend an evening, regardless of my reasons for doing it.

deeker

if it happens when ur drinking only, then drinking is the problem. Stop drinking.

GracieLou

About a month or so before I quit drinking I was thinking of my first ex-husband. He is the father of my two kids. He was also an alcoholic.

In my drunken mind I was thinking that we would get along now. The kids are grown so now we could sit around all night drinking and watching Star Trek.

He died 4 1/2 years ago from alcoholism.

I think I know what that drunk moment was telling me.

MIRecovery

I'm irrational when I drink I wonder if alcohol has anything to do with it? until your brain unfogs self analysis is an exercise in futility

kittycat3

My opinion -some of what comes up when drinking is real and some is not. Alcohol is not a magic truth serum. It lowers your inhibitions and alters your reality. That's it. If you want to know more about your insecurities you should see a therapist.

ElegantlyWasted

Maybe dry out for a while and do some kind of meditation on you girlfriends past, put it in a bubble and blow it away... There was a great signature that one or our Fellow SR Members used for a while (I forget who it was). Here goes, "Every Saint has a past and every Sinner a Future." Point being we all have issues, even when sober. Were better able to contain negative stuff while sober, but its still there. Figure out a way to really bury it.