fallingtogether

I broke down with my sponsor today. She held my hand and prayed with/for me. I bawled. I drank over it. I don't want to be sick, god doesn't want me sick. No one wants me sick. I am moving forward. Effff! This is hard!

fallingtogether

I'm afraid of getting it right.... Does that make sense?

MidnightBlue

Yes, it does.

Sorry you are going through tough times, Fallingtogether.

I am not familiar with AA, but what made you break down with your sponsor (sorry to ask. Just ignore if you don't feel like answering).

Take care. We are here for support.

GracieLou

That makes a lot of sense

RavenRenewed

Absolutely. Because if you get it right, then what? Change is scary, and this is a huge change. It's getting rid of everything alcohol meant for me. I totally understand.

((Hugs))

Dee74

I was very afraid of success. There was no precedent for that for me, no road map, no safety net.

But eventually, you just have to take the chance close your eyes and give yourself to the leap of faith FT

D

tomsteve

"I'm afraid of getting it right.... Does that make sense?"
yup, sure does to me. now to find out why, which im guessin is extremely low self esteem.however, nothings gonna change til ya get some courage and move forward witht he program and absolutely nothing will be made better witha drink.

God doesnt want you sick and God dont make no junk!! so get yer but in gear,get to a meeting, get yer nose in the bb, and get with yer sponsor and work the steps. call others in recovery,too.
that feeling of uselessness will disappear.

Bruce292

Oh yeah! Absolutely! I was scared to death to leave my little shelter that I had built over the years. In there I was safe and nobody could get me. But I was miserable living like that. I often think about how safe and predictable life was when I was drinking. I have to remember though that those thoughts are just lies. It wasn't safe, happy or anything. It was my disease. I have to remember that.

Thank you for listening, and Thank you for your post. Keep posting!

Lionhearted1

yes I was afraid of getting it right, afraid of changing for the better I thought that once I went through the steps I would lose everything!! don't ask me why..lol! I avoided it for along time but it finally got painful enough that I said to myself I don't care what happens iam going to go through the steps and take it from there! Nothing bad did happen in fact the opposite happened its been the best thing I have done recovery wise, I wish I had done it sooner!! change is hard but its a must for alcoholics!

HellJuice

Being afraid of getting sober I think is very normal. In fact I think that's what causes most people to never get sober.

Mizzuno

I realized that I am the master of self sabotage. A few years ago, I set about to make my thoughts right by talking with a psychologist. I was told on repeat that I was afraid to succeed. Well, this did not stick until my last drink. The drink that showed that I was absolutely an alcoholic, and needed to walk another direction. I think that being afraid is normal. Please do not live in the fear. Take it one day at a time. I assure you it gets better.