An admission - I am facing serious prison time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Southern Spain
Posts: 355
An admission - I am facing serious prison time
I have been putting of admitting this for the last 3 days. It would be far easier to say nothing to everyone. However, I cannot, I must at least open up and explain what has happened, and ask for advise/help/support.
3 months ago I registered on to SR and became a daily contributor. I had been involved in a domestic, alcohol driven event. I was sent to court, and given a 2 year suspended sentence. I live in Spain. Essentially, I had to remain out of trouble for 2 years and all would be well.
Last Friday, after learning my job contract would not be renewed (not because of bad behavior, but because of my inability to sufficiently control my student behavior), I left work and started drinking. On returning home I took my dog out for a walk. I was already quite drunk. I have no recollection of the events, but I continued to drink an apparently I lost my temper with my dog, and according to witnesses, I attempted to kill her. The police was called and I ended up in the cells.
I was told I had 2 options. To accept the charge and go to jail for 8 months, or go to court and plead for a fine. If I fail ( court date - 18th June) I will go to jail for 20 months. I was tempted with the former, but chose the latter.
I have been to an alcohol clinic where I live, and have approached AA here in Spain. There are 2 meetings in English. I have also contacted a priest who runs an alcohol meeting. My hope is that the judge will see that I mean business, and that incarcerating me will not be beneficial to anyone.
Essentially I am petrified. Having read what prison is like I feel a great trepidation, and don't know if I could do 20 months. I am not a scarydy cat and I would fight for my life if necessary when inside. But I am not a strong person emotionally. My father, who is an old and frail man in England, would be destroyed. My relationship may well collapse, as my GF (Who is Spanish) may well have had enough.
Does anyone have any advise or experience of jail. I feel totally numb and have not slept for days.
3 months ago I registered on to SR and became a daily contributor. I had been involved in a domestic, alcohol driven event. I was sent to court, and given a 2 year suspended sentence. I live in Spain. Essentially, I had to remain out of trouble for 2 years and all would be well.
Last Friday, after learning my job contract would not be renewed (not because of bad behavior, but because of my inability to sufficiently control my student behavior), I left work and started drinking. On returning home I took my dog out for a walk. I was already quite drunk. I have no recollection of the events, but I continued to drink an apparently I lost my temper with my dog, and according to witnesses, I attempted to kill her. The police was called and I ended up in the cells.
I was told I had 2 options. To accept the charge and go to jail for 8 months, or go to court and plead for a fine. If I fail ( court date - 18th June) I will go to jail for 20 months. I was tempted with the former, but chose the latter.
I have been to an alcohol clinic where I live, and have approached AA here in Spain. There are 2 meetings in English. I have also contacted a priest who runs an alcohol meeting. My hope is that the judge will see that I mean business, and that incarcerating me will not be beneficial to anyone.
Essentially I am petrified. Having read what prison is like I feel a great trepidation, and don't know if I could do 20 months. I am not a scarydy cat and I would fight for my life if necessary when inside. But I am not a strong person emotionally. My father, who is an old and frail man in England, would be destroyed. My relationship may well collapse, as my GF (Who is Spanish) may well have had enough.
Does anyone have any advise or experience of jail. I feel totally numb and have not slept for days.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Essex, UK
Posts: 7
I'm afraid I don't have any experience of being in jail shaun so I can't help to alleviate your fears.
However I can say that I know how you are feeling. I'm due in court in Essex in a few hours and I'm absolutely scared stiff. It's not a serious offence but is down to my drinking. I'm pretty sure that I won't get jail time although I haven't taken any legal advice so I don't know for definite. I've been so stupid.
I just wanted you to know that I can empathise with your situation. I really hope everything works out for you.
However I can say that I know how you are feeling. I'm due in court in Essex in a few hours and I'm absolutely scared stiff. It's not a serious offence but is down to my drinking. I'm pretty sure that I won't get jail time although I haven't taken any legal advice so I don't know for definite. I've been so stupid.
I just wanted you to know that I can empathise with your situation. I really hope everything works out for you.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Shaun.
So sorry to hear about what's happened. My heart goes to you.
Thank you for being so honest.
I have no experience related, it's hard even to imagine for me how you are feeling now.
I can't give you a useful advise. Just words of support. Feel free to pm if you need someone to talk to - I'm in pretty much same time zone - 3 hours ahead of Spain.
Hold on.
So sorry to hear about what's happened. My heart goes to you.
Thank you for being so honest.
I have no experience related, it's hard even to imagine for me how you are feeling now.
I can't give you a useful advise. Just words of support. Feel free to pm if you need someone to talk to - I'm in pretty much same time zone - 3 hours ahead of Spain.
Hold on.
Memberado
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Big hugs to you. That sounds like a situation of pure terror.
The ONLY thing that made me stop drinking was starting daily AA meetings. For me, "approaching AA" was not enough. AA gave me and continues to give me all the support I need to stay stopped. If I were facing jail time I would double up on meetings and share what is happening with my fellows.
But that is just my experience. I don't know what else to recommend. Towards the end of my drinking career, I too was starting to get into run-ins with the law. I am so happy I found a way to stop.
The ONLY thing that made me stop drinking was starting daily AA meetings. For me, "approaching AA" was not enough. AA gave me and continues to give me all the support I need to stay stopped. If I were facing jail time I would double up on meetings and share what is happening with my fellows.
But that is just my experience. I don't know what else to recommend. Towards the end of my drinking career, I too was starting to get into run-ins with the law. I am so happy I found a way to stop.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I don't know anything about jail Shaun, much less jail in Spain.
My advice tho?
Do things - lot of things - for your recovery - not because it looks good, but because you really want to turn this mess around.
I agree with DB - the time for 'approaching' anything is over - you need to immerse yourself wholly.
Some of us can ride the tsunami of addiction pretty well - others find they ride things out very badly, get swamped, and end up facing the most appalling of circumstances.
I was a very poor drunk. I was pathetic.
I'm so so lucky to still be here.
You strike me as someone in that latter group too Shaun.
You really need to do something - right now - to change where you're headed.
I'm very worried for you, and for those who love you.
D
My advice tho?
Do things - lot of things - for your recovery - not because it looks good, but because you really want to turn this mess around.
I agree with DB - the time for 'approaching' anything is over - you need to immerse yourself wholly.
Some of us can ride the tsunami of addiction pretty well - others find they ride things out very badly, get swamped, and end up facing the most appalling of circumstances.
I was a very poor drunk. I was pathetic.
I'm so so lucky to still be here.
You strike me as someone in that latter group too Shaun.
You really need to do something - right now - to change where you're headed.
I'm very worried for you, and for those who love you.
D
Been there, done that!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London
Posts: 539
Hi shaun, I have been in numerous scrapes with law, woken up in more than enough cells & ending in court cases going to trial and losing. thank god I did not have to do any Hard time but I really do know the fear you are feeling. My advice would be to start working flat out on your recovery and maybe if you do get time it could turn into a positive sometimes god works in mysterious ways! I mean what more would you need to turn your life around!! god bless my friend I will pray for you! btw I have been to spain many times and it is a beautiful country!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by DesperadoBlond 
Big hugs to you. That sounds like a situation of pure terror.
The ONLY thing that made me stop drinking was starting daily AA meetings. For me, "approaching AA" was not enough. AA gave me and continues to give me all the support I need to stay stopped. If I were facing jail time I would double up on meetings and share what is happening with my fellows.
But that is just my experience. I don't know what else to recommend. Towards the end of my drinking career, I too was starting to get into run-ins with the law. I am so happy I found a way to stop.
The ONLY thing that made me stop drinking was starting daily AA meetings. For me, "approaching AA" was not enough. AA gave me and continues to give me all the support I need to stay stopped. If I were facing jail time I would double up on meetings and share what is happening with my fellows.
But that is just my experience. I don't know what else to recommend. Towards the end of my drinking career, I too was starting to get into run-ins with the law. I am so happy I found a way to stop.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Shaun I've seen you around here and I particularly remember a helpful post you wrote about AA which I PMed you about. I wish I had something to offer you but I know nothing of that situation and can only hope that you get the advice/counsel you need.
As a dog owner/lover I do hope your dog is ok?
I presume you are English, can you seek any assistance/advice from the British embassy?
As a dog owner/lover I do hope your dog is ok?
I presume you are English, can you seek any assistance/advice from the British embassy?
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Shaun, the whole point of this site is being anonymous, you didn't need to tell us anything. So thank you for sharing.
In your posts, you come across as level-headed, rounded, articulate guy who dispenses some kick-a** advice for others in trouble.
The actions you describe here and other posts, do not fit that persona at all. Not one bit. I wish I could give you some good advice myself, but I feel like you're smart enough and been around long enough to know what the answers are.
All I can tell you is, everyone here knows you're better than this, I'm sure you're family and friends know you're better than this, perhaps it's time YOU really start believing you're better than this.
In your posts, you come across as level-headed, rounded, articulate guy who dispenses some kick-a** advice for others in trouble.
The actions you describe here and other posts, do not fit that persona at all. Not one bit. I wish I could give you some good advice myself, but I feel like you're smart enough and been around long enough to know what the answers are.
All I can tell you is, everyone here knows you're better than this, I'm sure you're family and friends know you're better than this, perhaps it's time YOU really start believing you're better than this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 66
I can tell you this, that there are many members of the local AA/NA groups I've attended who have done prison time, even after getting sober and upon relapses, probation violations, etc. As well as reaching out here, definitely take it to a meeting and ask around. You'll be surprised how many folks there can identify and have been there. Fear is a big trigger for a lot of us.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
Posts: 718
Hello Shaun--I feel for your situation. I am not familiar with the prison/court systems of Spain, but I did do jail time for alcohol related behavior. I got my 3rd DUI in New jersey and faced mandatory prison time--6 months. The judge did advise me I could seek help (rehab) and get my sentence reduced to a max of 3 months. Rehab was expensive & not covered by insurance due to an extended stay. I drank for 40 years, and this was my bottom. So I went the rehab route & immersed myself into AA at the same time. If Spains court allow such an option, make sure you get things documented to show your seriousness to recovery. Letters from the rehab, I volunteered for community service while in rehab which helped also. I presented this info to the judge at my sentencing & he did reduce my sentence from 6 months to 3 months. And rehab got my head on straight to face those 3 months in jail. It was a dark period of my life from which I am still trying to move on from. And although things are somewhat challenging for me now, I have remained sober through this experience through the tools I was given in rehab & AA (27 months sober). I am still trying to get back to some sort of a normal life right now. And things have happened along the way that years ago would have sent me to the bottle. My father suffered a heart-attack & stroke while I was in jail the has physically & mentally crippled him. While in rehab my daughter got a DUI. My son has been in trouble a few times since becoming sober....and now I am faced with a big decision of leaving my home which I have lived at for over 25 years now and moving myself in a new direction. Still, I hang in there & I won't pick up that first drink, which I know is what brought me to where I am today. Fix yourself, be smart & serious about it, and use the tools you can acquire through AA and or rehab. Prayers are with you brother.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Thanks for sharing Shawn, that's certainly a tough situation to be in. Sounds like you are doing all the right things to seek help with your drinking issues. I certainly hope you can follow through on them - not only to show the judge that you mean business as you mention and avoid jail, but to help you better deal with your drinking issues. To be blunt, I'd personally be way more concerned about quitting drinking because of what happened last friday than jail. Physically attacking another living creature and not even being aware of it is a very, very scary thing - especially when alcohol seems to be the fuel that caused it. I wish you the best of luck, and hopefully we can be of assistance as well here at SR.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Somewhere USA
Posts: 238
First off, thank you for sharing. Secondly, as an owner of three dogs, how is your dog? I
hope it's ok. I'm sure you probably love it and are mortified by your actions.
I understand your fear. I just had my court date this past week (DUI, hit the neighbor's house of all things!) and luckily, received a 180 day suspended jail sentence. I do need to spend 4 days at a Driver Intervention program at my own cost, but that beats jail. (have to find someone to watch my dogs as once I'm there I can't leave the area).
I was petrified beyond belief. The night I had to spend in the holding cell was bad enough for me. I hope to never..wait check that, I WILL NEVER, repeat that again.
I don't have any real advice for you. I am sending you any good luck vibes I can spare for both you and your dog. Good luck! I am wishing you the best of outcomes.
hope it's ok. I'm sure you probably love it and are mortified by your actions.
I understand your fear. I just had my court date this past week (DUI, hit the neighbor's house of all things!) and luckily, received a 180 day suspended jail sentence. I do need to spend 4 days at a Driver Intervention program at my own cost, but that beats jail. (have to find someone to watch my dogs as once I'm there I can't leave the area).
I was petrified beyond belief. The night I had to spend in the holding cell was bad enough for me. I hope to never..wait check that, I WILL NEVER, repeat that again.
I don't have any real advice for you. I am sending you any good luck vibes I can spare for both you and your dog. Good luck! I am wishing you the best of outcomes.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Shaun, Thank you for sharing. Is your dog alright? Is she with someone who can care for her? I know that you are scared, and have every reason to be. I have no experience with jail, or prison. I just want to give you my support. I think that you are taking all of the steps that you can in this situation. AA, priest, reaching out for support. I know that things will work out Shaun. Sometimes we take a few steps back to move forward. Keep on moving forward. Once again, Thank you for sharing. I know how hard that must have been.
Blu**ed Lines...A ClockWork SR
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,529
I've escaped by the hair of my chinny chin chin from some potentially really bad legal stuff. I also know nothing of Jail time in Spain, other than its not quite up to US standards. Get legal advice re: pleading to get a fine. Show the Judge that you have taken pro active action to address your issues (run this idea by counsel). And get help... We can't have you treating animals like that. Best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I've thought about your post all day.
To be honest, it could be a lot worse.
Although your poor, poor dog. Please do as Anna says and give her to someone else.
You could be facing something a lot more serious.
I have read of awful accidents where booze has been involved.
Fights that have got out of hand and would never have happened if the people involved had not drunk to excess.
Driving accidents where people have been horrendously injured or killed. Families torn about.
Fatal accidents and suicides that happened in blackouts.
People who have been sent to jail for years and years.
Awful things that can haunt a persons life forever. That there is no getting over or moving on from.
Tragic events that happen after a few too many.
Your life can totally change in one evening that has gone terribly wrong.
8 months or 20 months, when you think of the above, is little time in jail compared to the rest of your life.
I have no experience of jail, so I am probably not the best person to comment.
I am sorry that this happened to you.
Like Dee says, don't just do recovery for the judge and to avoid jail. Get yourself recovering for you.
Don't let it go any further than it already has.
Don't loose anything else, especially not your freedom. And never, ever take anyone else's freedom.
I'm thinking of you.
Be strong, be humble, make your apologies and learn your lessons.
My very best to you
x
To be honest, it could be a lot worse.
Although your poor, poor dog. Please do as Anna says and give her to someone else.
You could be facing something a lot more serious.
I have read of awful accidents where booze has been involved.
Fights that have got out of hand and would never have happened if the people involved had not drunk to excess.
Driving accidents where people have been horrendously injured or killed. Families torn about.
Fatal accidents and suicides that happened in blackouts.
People who have been sent to jail for years and years.
Awful things that can haunt a persons life forever. That there is no getting over or moving on from.
Tragic events that happen after a few too many.
Your life can totally change in one evening that has gone terribly wrong.
8 months or 20 months, when you think of the above, is little time in jail compared to the rest of your life.
I have no experience of jail, so I am probably not the best person to comment.
I am sorry that this happened to you.
Like Dee says, don't just do recovery for the judge and to avoid jail. Get yourself recovering for you.
Don't let it go any further than it already has.
Don't loose anything else, especially not your freedom. And never, ever take anyone else's freedom.
I'm thinking of you.
Be strong, be humble, make your apologies and learn your lessons.
My very best to you
x
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Southampton
Posts: 34
MOst of the advice here is recovery related
This foremost is a survival and legal problem... get a great lawyer or....
I would not advise any ENGLISHMAN to go to jail in Spain ever....besides the obvious fears, the most common way to pass time is by doing HARD DRUGS....
I sent you a message PM
This foremost is a survival and legal problem... get a great lawyer or....
I would not advise any ENGLISHMAN to go to jail in Spain ever....besides the obvious fears, the most common way to pass time is by doing HARD DRUGS....
I sent you a message PM
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Shaun
It sounds like you need to get some more things sorted than just quitting drinking. Have you considered really embracing AA and the twelve steps - it could give you the chance to turn your life around and not just stop drinking. Part of that may be facing up to what you have done and accepting the consequences of those actions, wherever that leads you, but then you can come out the other side having dealt with your demons head-on.
Is your family safe now? Is the dog OK and safe?
God bless +
It sounds like you need to get some more things sorted than just quitting drinking. Have you considered really embracing AA and the twelve steps - it could give you the chance to turn your life around and not just stop drinking. Part of that may be facing up to what you have done and accepting the consequences of those actions, wherever that leads you, but then you can come out the other side having dealt with your demons head-on.
Is your family safe now? Is the dog OK and safe?
God bless +
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