Need a friend
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Colchester VT
Posts: 3
Need a friend
Hi, I'm posting because I need someone to talk to. Here is my story. I come from a family of alcoholics. My mother has not held a job since I was born, does not drive, and drinks all through the day, although not very much. I started partying young, but quit everything except social drinking with no issues at the age of 20. When I met my husband, he drank/smoked weed. I started drinking daily again and smoking sometimes. He quit smoking for the most part soon after but I continued. I have been drinking near daily since, only at night and usually a bottle of wine or a 6 pack.
I started taking vics and percs about 3 years ago and took them a couple times a week for about a year with no issues. They helped my pain issues tremendously. I have fibromyalgia and a reverse curve in my neck from whiplash. I also have been working a minimum of 55 hrs a week for the last 10 years or so in food - pizza and sandwich shop. Eventually I started taking the pills at work and they just made the day go by so much faster and smoother! I was pain free. Also, started sometimes snorting Oxys as well, like a quarter of a 30 at a time.
Fast forward 2 yrs and I take Oxys almost daily. Two months ago I fell asleep at the wheel and wrecked my car. I was only on tramadol at the time which I have a script for, so I didn't lose my license but came damn close since I still had opiates in my system. My husband found out and since I had told him I had quit a few previous times he told me he will leave me if I use again. I also sign all my checks over to him and he handles all finances - I get $40/week.
My tolerance is currently about 150 mg oxy to get any real effects. A big part of me is sick of this life, but I can't seem to quit. Tonight for the first time I just drove into the city and copped on the street since my usual connects were dry for a few days. I am very scared that I'll start using heroin soon and I know if I do I'll start shooting because if I'd known how to shoot the morphine I copped I would have. I really wasn't even dope sick or anything but the mental cravings have been unreal.
I am trying to decide what to do, obviously what I'm doing now isn't working, but I don't know where to go next. Methadone or buprenorphine treatment? Rehab? A part of me REALLY wants to do a 30 day rehab. I think there must be a lot of underlying issues. But that will change my whole life. I'm not sure how I'd keep my job which I've had for 11 years. I can't get a month off.
Please help...
I started taking vics and percs about 3 years ago and took them a couple times a week for about a year with no issues. They helped my pain issues tremendously. I have fibromyalgia and a reverse curve in my neck from whiplash. I also have been working a minimum of 55 hrs a week for the last 10 years or so in food - pizza and sandwich shop. Eventually I started taking the pills at work and they just made the day go by so much faster and smoother! I was pain free. Also, started sometimes snorting Oxys as well, like a quarter of a 30 at a time.
Fast forward 2 yrs and I take Oxys almost daily. Two months ago I fell asleep at the wheel and wrecked my car. I was only on tramadol at the time which I have a script for, so I didn't lose my license but came damn close since I still had opiates in my system. My husband found out and since I had told him I had quit a few previous times he told me he will leave me if I use again. I also sign all my checks over to him and he handles all finances - I get $40/week.
My tolerance is currently about 150 mg oxy to get any real effects. A big part of me is sick of this life, but I can't seem to quit. Tonight for the first time I just drove into the city and copped on the street since my usual connects were dry for a few days. I am very scared that I'll start using heroin soon and I know if I do I'll start shooting because if I'd known how to shoot the morphine I copped I would have. I really wasn't even dope sick or anything but the mental cravings have been unreal.
I am trying to decide what to do, obviously what I'm doing now isn't working, but I don't know where to go next. Methadone or buprenorphine treatment? Rehab? A part of me REALLY wants to do a 30 day rehab. I think there must be a lot of underlying issues. But that will change my whole life. I'm not sure how I'd keep my job which I've had for 11 years. I can't get a month off.
Please help...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Meledson 
I am sorry you are struggling right now. I hope someone will be along shortly with better advice than I can offer but here's my bit for what it's worth...
I know quite a few people who have managed to take time of work (months) to go to rehab or to recover under the guise of 'stress' without having to be upfront about the real issues. Others have been able to talk to someone they respect at work and have been surprised at the support and encouragement they have received. Personally I got sober without taking any time of work and without telling anyone but medical professionals what was going on. I won't say my way was easy but I think I would have found it tough to go back after taking time out and having to cope with all those stresses and not drink helped me grow pretty fast early on.
I don't know what is available where you live but it would really be worth checking out what help is available. Sometimes the best place to do this is a AA/NA meeting as you will meet people who have been through all the services your area has to offer. It took me going to an AA meeting to find out there was even a rehab where I live as that was never presented to me as an option.
I guess the bottom line is you need to do something, start somewhere... It would be worth checking out different recovery methods (AVRT, SMART recovery etc..) and reading up on other people's recovery. I think this is one of those things where you have to put in the legwork yourself for it to work, find your own path to recovery. There is lot's of information here. Glad you posted x
I am sorry you are struggling right now. I hope someone will be along shortly with better advice than I can offer but here's my bit for what it's worth...I know quite a few people who have managed to take time of work (months) to go to rehab or to recover under the guise of 'stress' without having to be upfront about the real issues. Others have been able to talk to someone they respect at work and have been surprised at the support and encouragement they have received. Personally I got sober without taking any time of work and without telling anyone but medical professionals what was going on. I won't say my way was easy but I think I would have found it tough to go back after taking time out and having to cope with all those stresses and not drink helped me grow pretty fast early on.
I don't know what is available where you live but it would really be worth checking out what help is available. Sometimes the best place to do this is a AA/NA meeting as you will meet people who have been through all the services your area has to offer. It took me going to an AA meeting to find out there was even a rehab where I live as that was never presented to me as an option.
I guess the bottom line is you need to do something, start somewhere... It would be worth checking out different recovery methods (AVRT, SMART recovery etc..) and reading up on other people's recovery. I think this is one of those things where you have to put in the legwork yourself for it to work, find your own path to recovery. There is lot's of information here. Glad you posted x
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
to the family! I don't know anything about pills but we have a forum specially for that. Take a look and ask your questions there for more insight.Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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